Should autistic people date younger when it's NTs?

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There is a fine balance between having faith everything will work out and becoming too attached and not wanting to let go

There this guy, I really like his pictures & I was lusting after We were talking, he liked me, he was 46. I told him about being disabled & having Aspergers, he is now ghosting me

Men are funny creatures, I think he weighed up the option of dealing with disability versus getting sex and decided he would move on. I wouldn't waste tears for this dude.

I'm with Cyberdad on this. Don't waste any tears on him ... or whatever you thought he might be.

Believe me, I understand that. I think my warm feelings toward her have to do with her coming into my life at a dark time and being the opposite of what my old friends became. I was unemployed for a long time, and finally started a new job that was low-stress but didn't pay a lot (for an IT job, that is). My friends since high school moved in with their girlfriends, and were suddenly too busy to have anything to do with me. She was the opposite of all that: she always texted me to say hi, and invited me to fun events I had no idea existed, like her bowling league's pizza and beer night. Come to think of it, her actions were a flashback to way I acted with my first girlfriend at age 18 or 19, even though they were platonic.

It may sound ridiculous and unbelievable to most aspie men, but I was more touched by her wanting to be my friend, than I would be if she wanted to date me. Those actions are pretty normal, if not banal, in relationships. But when a new friend shows that much care, it means a lot. I briefly worried about the possibility of her love-bombing me in prep for future mistreatment (which happens to aspies a lot), but after hanging out with her just twice, I knew I was wrong.

I wonder if she did all that because she was 22, and out on her own for the first time, and therefore "innocent". Also, when you're in early 20's, friendships are much closer and involve more face time than when you're in mid 30's. Heck, I myself, being 33 and far more bitter and jaded, was worried if I'm taking advantage of her. She's 25 today (I'm 36), so if I had met her in late 2019, I'm sure my initial encounters with her would be much different.

On OkCupid, men who are 34 like me.

ok this is now becoming very relatable to me!

The girl I mentioned who was friendzoning me was 19 and I was 34 back then (I got married when I was 36) I never realised I completely missed the age gap which was probably the reason she was careful not to send me the wrong signals,

Funny that you mentioned this. My friend told me how she told she was looking for friends to 3 or 4 other guys she talked to online, but I was the only one who accepted. (Even today, she has more men friends than women friends.) Her "innocence" explains why she, knowingly or unknowingly, acted in ways that could be mistaken for romantic interest: texting me often to say hi, inviting me to join her bowling league, sending me funny YouTube clips, and hugging me closely at meeting and parting.

Maybe she was trying to win me over somehow, given the rejections she got earlier. Or maybe that's how all early-20's opposite-sex friends interact, and I missed out on that life stage. Either way, her actions felt like a breath of fresh air. What's ironic is that the main reason me and her became great friends is my own fear of romantic relationships. What's even more ironic is that my first girlfriend 15 years prior didn't do any of those things. Otherwise, I'd have politely turned down her friendship offer, like the other guys did, and never gotten to know her.

Yeah girls in the 18-24 age range really think it's cool to know older men as friends who they can talk to for advice or a feeling they are mature and learn things about the world (men their age can be quite self-absorbed and unworldly).
But given the choices they have (particularly if they are attractive) they are more likely to pick relationships with men closer to their age as physical attraction and social acceptance is still important to them.

This sounds shallow of her, but pot calling kettle black. I, too, was happy to meet her because I enjoy the company of a young, attractive woman. She also has the youthful playfulness that most women my age lack. For example, when we started hanging out, we once drank vodka-laced Slurpees in an pedestrian underpass and debated our spirit animals. By contrast, my friends and their girlfriends (all in their 30's) were shopping for fabrics and discussing kitchen tiles.
At the time I met her, I didn't even want a relationship, let alone actively seek one out. She kind of came into my life on her own accord, and I accepted.

Yes you have hit the nail on the head! I was in exactly the same position back in my mid 30s. I think I enjoyed the carefree youthful energy that young girls exuded. You are exactly right, women in their mid 30s start becoming more boring (no offence intended).

Honestly it was great for me except I found being friend zoned was sometimes sexually frustrating. Hence I returned to women my age

I found women my age to be more likely to friend zone me whereas the younger women were more likely to give me a chance.

When I met my friend back in 2016, I was still having sex with escorts. (Heck, I even moved near a train line in 2015, to have easy access to their hotels downtown.) So sexual frustration wasn't an issue. But the caring and warmth she gave me, which no escort can give, was very endearing. Then in 2017, my sex drive plummeted down to zero, to the point where I find sex disgusting. So today, being friends with her is great in and of itself, even though the most we ever did was cuddle. (I can enjoy cuddling, as long as it's fully clothed.)

Depends really...there are older women > 35 who probably don't want an intimate relationship (I've met these too, often there's a story behind why they are single).

Younger girls have so many choices, they don't need to taste "low hanging" over-ripe fruit when there's plenty of fresh fruit to choose from.

Escorts are expensive!

Yes I see why she trusts you, 99% of heterosexual men, if they find themselves cuddling an attractive young girl, would automatically be aroused. It's like flicking on a light switch.

Is that older or younger than you are?