Have you been called "creepy" by the opposite sex?

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Pretty awful to have to endure that... I've been called creepy on more than one occasion (and, most recently, "weird" ) and probably that and worse behind my back for all I know. I believe it's an aesthetic thing, i.e. facial expression, body language, lack of charisma, awkwardness etc., more than it is lack of actual social etiquette or manners. In fact, I'd venture to say this is the case with most Aspies- as far as I can tell, their social behaviour (what they say and do) is fine but their presentation (how they say and do it) is off. Of course, that's not what they're told, leading to all sorts of unneccessary confusion for these people about what exactly they did "wrong".

Conversely, many NTs have borderline abominable and reprehensible social etiquette but since they look and act more "normal" they can more often than not get away with it. Basically, it's a case of style over substance, or form over content, and it's a shame that society can't only not look past this to see what's really going on, it's likely many already are aware but turn a blind eye and pretend it is what it's not. It genuinely sickens me that a society full of degenerate, sociopathic creeps feels privileged enough to tell Aspies what they're doing wrong and how they can improve to be "more like them" so they can get jobs and have relationships like "normal" people. Many of these same sociopaths should be in jail or euthanized.

I personally don't think being introverted or eccentric is necessarily obnoxious. In fact, I don't necessarily see being obnoxious in general as an obstacle towards people liking/being attracted to you. It should be, but it obviously isn't since there's so many NTs like this and people tolerate and accept it. Why are they diagnosed as NTs and not on the Spectrum if that's the case? My guess is because they don't "look" like they should be and so people don't treat them like they are, therefore they end up being allowed to do things that Aspies can't without the same prejudices.

It's a double standard to be sure but most would deny it and say there's a legitimate social competence dichotomy between the two, which I heavily disagree with based on what I've seen. Many Aspies may look "creepy", but they don't always act like creeps. Many NTs are actual creeps in the worst sense of the word ("ghouls" would probably be more appropriate) but it's accepted and tolerated by society since they're not physically awkward in terms of body language and general expressiveness so they're considered attractive despite their behaviour.

Bottom line: Substance is overrated; style is everything. If you don't present well, life will probably be difficult for you socially and professionally.

Good post. I know I've done some creepy things before. Like for example when I asked girls out & they told me they were busy or something, I'd kept suggesting a different day or different time because I took them at their word that they really were busy instead of realizing that was an automatic rejection & they weren't being direct enough cuz they wanted to save face or whatever. I heard some storeis after I joined this forum about Aspies who got accused of harassment or stalking because they didn't realize it was an auto rejection & they kept trying. I know now that LOTS would consider that creepy but to some of us Aspies it's due to us being direct & straightforward & needing others to be the same way with us. Yet there's NTs who grope women & get away with it scot-free because they have good social skills &/or look hot &/or very successful.

Now this is something really creepy

Because of the standards in which I am judged. I do not conform to societal expectations and I do not subscribe to what society dictates I should do with my life. They may see a weird loser, I question their standards of freedom.

QFT

Funny you should mention harrassment and stalking... just this past week I received a letter from this theatre company I volunteered at a couple years ago that they had gotten complaints from a couple volunteers that i had harrassed and stalked them (including inappropriate "staring") and that I'd need to be mindful of their zero tolerance policy.

From what I recall, I had been chatting up a someone I was working with and I asked her on the last performance if she was interested in grabbing a drink afterwards. I was talking with her for at least twenty minutes and she was smiling the entire time and being responsive to everything I was saying, and agreed to hang out with me. After the show, however, I noticed a couple other female volunteers seemed to be trying to pull her away from me; I thought it was just paranoia but as I was walking home and saw them ahead of me, they immediately turned and walked the other way once they noticed me. I called one of the female managers and asked her if she was planning on meeting up with the other two and she said she was going straight home. About ten minutes later, I walk past the three of them walking to a bar with some guy from the show. They don't even acknowledge my existence. Now, that incident has been construed as harrassment and stalking. I'm so disgusted by this, I'm seriously reconsidering volunteering there again.

Now, you mentioned not picking up on social cues that tell you whether someone's interested in you or not but I guarantee you there's no such thing in existence. Women are so good at hiding their true feelings when they want to that it's impossible for even an NT to know when they're being rejected. Reality is, it doesn't happen nearly as much to them so when they assume a girl is into them, they're usually guessing right. But ultimately, that's all it is... guessing. I'm pretty sure I'm no worse than they are at reading non-existent social cues for rejection like a girl smiling and saying she'd like to go for a drink. Anyone who would argue against that is either new to Earth or just being a self-entitled dick.

Apologies for not noticing this sooner, must've just overlooked it. I disagree that that's any reason for anyone to consider someone 'weird' or a 'loser'. There's plenty of people who don't conform to society's standards and don't listen to what people tell them they should be doing- they're called rogues and mavericks, not weirdos and losers. In fact, I doubt there even is such a thing as a societal standard anymore; everyone more or less does do whatever the hell they want.

If you're getting criticized for that then they're probably not being completely honest with you and it's most likely some other reason. If you're merely assuming that's the reason they're criticizing you, then there's a good chance you're incorrect. Most people wouldn't be honest about something like that anyway since they're usually using it as a cover to hide their true feelings.

I was called a creep for the majority of my high school years.

yes becuse im ugly. women call all ugly guys for creepy.

it only matters that i myself know for a fact that i am not creepy to me.

Not really, I was often asked to escort women through dark alleys to their places.

I have been called creepy by women. Never explicitly by men, though some probably thought I was. I frequently am mistaken for expressing interest in men, plus I don't really watch my gaze/facial expressions and "stare" at people. *shrugs*

Not much you can do. I would never intentionally be rude or harmful to anyone, and that's about all I can say.

^^^join the creepy club

People will always side with the women’s claims, even if you’re innocent.

The unfair fact of life is that those who perceive our "creepiness" will be the last to tell us, let alone let us know how to fix it. Those who want to be encouraging lack the perspective to tell us if our fears are correct or not. They're prone to telling us it's "in our own heads"...even when this is not the case.

We're also a destructively competitive species. If someone else is doing something 'wrong' (whether they can help it or not) it's to other people's benefit that they don't even know anything is wrong and thus don't fix it - the less competitively adapted other people are the better for those who are adapted in that way.