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Is it time to give up

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that1weirdgrrrl
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16 Aug 2020, 1:52 am

No need for policing. I was just saying that logically people come here to discuss their romantic concerns. I was also being a bit of a smart ass. (Sorry!)

I agree that friendships could lead to romance. Some people will disagree. Personally, I've only ever gotten into relationships with friends (but I'm weird).


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cyberdad
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16 Aug 2020, 2:01 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I stayed out of the dating loop, and I’ve done okay with having relationships with women. It’s because I hung out with somewhat quirky people—people who didn’t care that I wasn’t an alpha male and prime dating material.


And where can a lonely Aspie find these "quirky people who don't judge"? (I'm asking on the OPs behalf)



Pepe
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16 Aug 2020, 2:38 am

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
No need for policing. I was just saying that logically people come here to discuss their romantic concerns. I was also being a bit of a smart ass. (Sorry!)

I agree that friendships could lead to romance. Some people will disagree. Personally, I've only ever gotten into relationships with friends (but I'm weird).


You have a smart posterior,
And I am witty half the time.
What a pair! :mrgreen:

You are not "weird".
You are delightfully autistic. ;)



AcidicBlue3127
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16 Aug 2020, 3:47 pm

This post makes me sad bc I relate to it too much. I am 36F and have had a horrible time dating. I have been chronically single for the past seven years and I dont even know how to approach it now. Ive considered just going back to school, getting a degree and becoming engrossed in a career.



WantToHaveALife
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16 Aug 2020, 11:21 pm

it reminds me, i got this powerful long passage from a book, written for guys, men, sadly he is right:


"A guy, man, human male, will often distract himself with work, porn, hobbies, his friends, or other things in an attempt to mask the pain of being unsuccessful with women, with being unable to attract them or just not being able to attract the ones he wants.

No matter what they do, nothing replaces their primal, innate, natural, instinctive desire to have a loving, sexual, intimate, romantic relationship with a real woman.

Accepting defeat is not going to fix any of your issues with women. Your desire to have sex with women and be loved by women is not going to go away if you continue play more computer games, video games, other hobbies, working harder on your job, career, education, or making more money.

You want women and that is that, it is not going to go away."

sadly, very bang-on, very dead-on right there.



idntonkw
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17 Aug 2020, 1:09 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
it reminds me, i got this powerful long passage from a book, written for guys, men, sadly he is right:


"A guy, man, human male, will often distract himself with work, porn, hobbies, his friends, or other things in an attempt to mask the pain of being unsuccessful with women, with being unable to attract them or just not being able to attract the ones he wants.

No matter what they do, nothing replaces their primal, innate, natural, instinctive desire to have a loving, sexual, intimate, romantic relationship with a real woman.

Accepting defeat is not going to fix any of your issues with women. Your desire to have sex with women and be loved by women is not going to go away if you continue play more computer games, video games, other hobbies, working harder on your job, career, education, or making more money.

You want women and that is that, it is not going to go away."

sadly, very bang-on, very dead-on right there.


True, but it's also written probably by a pick up artist 'coach'.



Pepe
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17 Aug 2020, 1:45 am

AcidicBlue3127 wrote:
This post makes me sad bc I relate to it too much. I am 36F and have had a horrible time dating. I have been chronically single for the past seven years and I dont even know how to approach it now. Ive considered just going back to school, getting a degree and becoming engrossed in a career.


There are a lot of aspie males on this website.
Hint, hint. :mrgreen:

And no, I am not one of them.
I'm in Australia/Oz. ;)



Pepe
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17 Aug 2020, 1:48 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
it reminds me, i got this powerful long passage from a book, written for guys, men, sadly he is right:


"A guy, man, human male, will often distract himself with work, porn, hobbies, his friends, or other things in an attempt to mask the pain of being unsuccessful with women, with being unable to attract them or just not being able to attract the ones he wants.

No matter what they do, nothing replaces their primal, innate, natural, instinctive desire to have a loving, sexual, intimate, romantic relationship with a real woman.

Accepting defeat is not going to fix any of your issues with women. Your desire to have sex with women and be loved by women is not going to go away if you continue play more computer games, video games, other hobbies, working harder on your job, career, education, or making more money.

You want women and that is that, it is not going to go away."

sadly, very bang-on, very dead-on right there.


Testosterone decreases every year after 30. :mrgreen:



maycontainthunder
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17 Aug 2020, 4:01 am

I gave up before I was twenty. In the grand scheme of things I could never provide for a partner.

The closest I ever got to asking a girl out was asking her if she was single....her response was "if you ask me out I'll slap you", I have never forgotten that. It may have been in jest but...this threw a switch in me.



Citymale
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17 Aug 2020, 5:50 pm

maycontainthunder wrote:
I gave up before I was twenty. In the grand scheme of things I could never provide for a partner.

The closest I ever got to asking a girl out was asking her if she was single....her response was "if you ask me out I'll slap you", I have never forgotten that. It may have been in jest but...this threw a switch in me.


Yes, nothing angers a woman more than being hit on by an unattractive low value guy!

I gave up before I was twenty, but then at 21 I saw aspies getting dates in my group so I got hope and started trying. Got several dates actually, but I was too strange awkward and dumb for the girls for a second or third date.



kraftiekortie
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17 Aug 2020, 7:16 pm

BUT AT LEAST YOU GOT THE FIRST DATE.

What makes you a “low-value guy,” anyway?



idntonkw
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17 Aug 2020, 10:54 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
BUT AT LEAST YOU GOT THE FIRST DATE.

What makes you a “low-value guy,” anyway?


Good point, thanks!



maycontainthunder
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18 Aug 2020, 4:43 am

Citymale wrote:

unattractive low value guy!



Unnecessary hurtful comment.



auntblabby
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18 Aug 2020, 4:58 am

Pepe wrote:
Testosterone decreases every year after 30. :mrgreen:

that is a ginormous PITA. :x



Pepe
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18 Aug 2020, 5:59 am

auntblabby wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Testosterone decreases every year after 30. :mrgreen:

that is a ginormous PITA. :x


Look at it this way:
The less testosterone you have,
The slimmer the chances of cancer. :mrgreen:



auntblabby
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18 Aug 2020, 6:04 am

Pepe wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Testosterone decreases every year after 30. :mrgreen:

that is a ginormous PITA. :x


Look at it this way: The less testosterone you have, The slimmer the chances of cancer. :mrgreen:

to a modest point, but lookit all the womens who get the big C and they presumably are almost totally sans testosterone. and jack lalanne [RIP] had abundant T and lived to the ripe old age of 96.