When to talk about getting laid

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Fnord
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22 Aug 2022, 1:54 pm

delvian wrote:
babybird wrote:
It can be a bit of a minefield all of this.  Every woman is different so you have to take your time and learn about the one you are with. This should be just as much fun as "getting laid".
This is actually the best response so far.
Especially since it was written by a woman!

Well done, Joe!


:thumleft:



delvian
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22 Aug 2022, 2:21 pm

Fnord wrote:
delvian wrote:
babybird wrote:
It can be a bit of a minefield all of this.  Every woman is different so you have to take your time and learn about the one you are with. This should be just as much fun as "getting laid".
This is actually the best response so far.
Especially since it was written by a woman!

Well done, Joe!


:thumleft:

Lol yes, exactly. :D



r00tb33r
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22 Aug 2022, 2:32 pm

Quote:
When To Talk About Getting Laid

That really depends on the person. If they're openly talking about things related to sex in other contexts, then you probably be pretty direct about getting frisky, it's not all verbal, there's body language involved.

Otherwise, if you're dating a nun, then you have your work cut out, perhaps best to first experience some media (like movie scenes) together where there's intimacy, to bring forth the subject. Kind of make it a point that what is on the screen is on your mind. Might take a while before you get there.



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22 Aug 2022, 4:30 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Most "decent" women would not want you to have sex the first time they get invited to your apartment. They want to have a cup of coffee, or tea, or food, or whatever. And just sit down, talk, and you guys get to know each other.

What is it about sexuality that determines whether a woman is “decent” or not? What’s with the moral judgment here?

You’ve had some casual sexual encounters. Are you not “decent?”



Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 22 Aug 2022, 4:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TwilightPrincess
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22 Aug 2022, 4:36 pm

Quote:
At what stage during a relationship do you think is the right time to talk about getting laid?
It depends on the couple. (I would agree that the expression “getting laid” should probably be avoided.)

Quote:
Do you think the man should bring the subject up, or the woman?
Either person can bring it up. It doesn’t matter.

Quote:
Is it okay to talk about it at all, or you think it would happen by itself without talking about getting laid?
Either situation could work depending on the individuals involved.

Quote:
When you bring it up in a conversation, how would you suggest to do so without scaring the other person, or making the other person feel nervous or uncomfortable about it?
This is something that you have to play by ear and decide based on how you think the relationship is progressing and her apparent comfort with you.



Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 22 Aug 2022, 8:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cyberdad
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22 Aug 2022, 4:39 pm

Noamx wrote:
I havent yet really found a woman who is mature enough to her age, which means I need to work harder to find the right one. Its a big problem, and Israeli women have a tendency to be immature, gold diggers, closed minded, or all at once. Sad, right? What do you think about all this?


I think you can replace "Israeli" with just about any western nationality and it would be true



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22 Aug 2022, 4:43 pm

Noamx wrote:
Well basically, this time, I'd like to talk to you about when is the right time in a relationship to talk about getting laid.


A somebody who lived in the friendzone for several years I would recommend making your feelings clear early. Many women will assume if you don't ask then you don't need.



kraftiekortie
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22 Aug 2022, 5:59 pm

My feeling is that one has to just "let it happen."

Something along the lines of what Summer Twilight was saying.

I don't believe making some sort of "deadline" to have sex is really useful.

In truth, if I happened to have fallen in love with somebody when I was young, I would have "waited for marriage" if she wanted to "wait for marriage."

Anyway.....even when I was younger, I found cuddling to be more appealing to me than mere sex....especially if the cuddling led to a natural progression to lovemaking. I never liked it when we just "got right down to it."



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22 Aug 2022, 6:00 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
In my experience, I HAVEN'T had sex immediately with somebody who invited me to her apartment/house, or who accepted an invitation to my apartment.

TBH I'm surprised. One or the other has happened to me at least four times that I can think of, although I include one occasion when I failed to "perform" due to alcohol and some other things. The last one was my wife, the first time she came to my apartment.


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MaxE
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22 Aug 2022, 6:08 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
When you bring it up in a conversation, how would you suggest to do so without scaring the other person, or making the other person feel nervous or uncomfortable about it? This is something that you have to play by ear and decide based on how you think the relationship is progressing and her apparent comfort with you.

I've never experienced an experienced woman being scared to have sex. If anything it's the man who might be anxious. More likely the woman is simply uninterested because she's not turned on.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Aug 2022, 6:10 pm

Come to think of it....it happened a couple of times. But, most of the time, there was no sex attached to the invitation. Usually, it was the woman inviting me to her apartment. We just had some cake or something, and talked. No sex, usually. Not even making out.

Believe it or not, I once was in an adjacent bed with a neighbor woman of mine-----but I didn't try anything, and she didn't try anything. We just talked. She was older than me, and possibly bemused by me because I was younger. Nothing ever happened between us.

One time, a woman followed me home from work. I didn't "invite" her to my apartment, though I didn't deter her from following me into my apartment. We had sex a couple of times. Then, she lost interest in me.

Another time, I answered an ad, I went to this woman's house (the only "invitation" was in the ad)----and she dragged me into her apartment. I didn't resist. We had sex----and we had about a three month relationship afterwards. We broke up because she wanted me to buy her a washing machine---and I didn't have the money.



TwilightPrincess
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22 Aug 2022, 6:17 pm

MaxE wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
When you bring it up in a conversation, how would you suggest to do so without scaring the other person, or making the other person feel nervous or uncomfortable about it? This is something that you have to play by ear and decide based on how you think the relationship is progressing and her apparent comfort with you.

I've never experienced an experienced woman being scared to have sex. If anything it's the man who might be anxious. More likely the woman is simply uninterested because she's not turned on.


I was just responding to the question the OP posed.

And no, both men AND women can be similarly anxious about sex for a variety of reasons, whether they are experienced or not. I’m saying this as a woman. It’s hard to say what’s “more likely” without knowing all the particulars.

The women in your personal experience don’t reflect ALL women.



Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 22 Aug 2022, 6:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.

kraftiekortie
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22 Aug 2022, 6:20 pm

I had a high school girlfriend who was avid to lose her virginity----but she was scared of the potential pain of sex.

Unfortunately, the "pain" part came true----but, later on, we had satisfactory sex because I started to learn more about the female anatomy.



TwilightPrincess
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22 Aug 2022, 6:21 pm

There’s more to this than anatomical considerations.



kraftiekortie
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22 Aug 2022, 6:22 pm

I never said there wasn't more! That there's "more" is plainly obvious.

I'm just saying that what helped our lovemaking was my increased knowledge of anatomy.



TwilightPrincess
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22 Aug 2022, 6:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I never said there wasn't more! That there's "more" is plainly obvious.

I'm just saying that what helped our lovemaking was my increased knowledge of anatomy.


Okay…

But I don’t see how this relates to the original post.