Most young men are single. Most young women are not.

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It should be. Phil Hartman and Steve McNair aren't anomalies. It's less common in part because most crimes targeting men in gendered crimes are, but unfortunately, it's not a given.

Not to mention less dramatic situations like all those shaming videos in YouTube or getting taken to the cleaners in divorce court.

Honestly, they probably won't admit to it. Man beating women are more common than people think and it's often times muddy enough that it's hard to tell who is abusing whom.

My brother had an ex who would beat the s**t out of him. He broke up with her not long after he felt endangered enough to hit her back.

Lets just say species come and species go.

Maybe some ratio of non-gross men, and women who are attracted to men, are left over and they repopulate the world. It might happen or, if there's some kind of conservation principle where only the top 10 - 20% of any genetic stock are attractive, then we probably go extinct.

There is the whole 'artificial wombs' technology coming up but that only partially solves the problem when egg extraction, from my understanding, is quite a painful process and the woman undergoing it is usually trying to preplan / prescreen genetic selection with her husband or partner (also relatively new technology). Maybe they donate out the eggs they don't carry to term but I still don't see that quantity or quality creating a vibrant market where sperm donation and egg donation joined somehow save population numbers. If the whole hope is that it could save us from Handmaiden's Tale vs. extinction probably not, instead it just turns Handmaidens Tale into a surgical Handmaidens Tale unless we learn to make artificial eggs too that are somehow equally or more robust than the real thing.

It's a serious topic of conversation even without these numbers because men have to pursue excellence at turning nature into landfill and be more exceptional at it than their competition (or be breeding among the criminal underclass) to impress the opposite sex, so if we want to not strip the planet bare and die with it we probably want to figure out some way around 'the old fashion way' for procreating the species - perhaps even better if the resulting babies are so genetically engineered that the particular sperm or egg are so different from the parents that there's no feeling of ownership or extension of self remaining thus no jealous feelings of life-extension when the baby's radically not you rather than half you.

I think the most disturbing implication of what I said above:

We live in a world foundationally unworthy of minds of the sort that would self-actualize. The closer we get to having a world worthy of minds that can self-actualize (rather than a dark age or medieval hell) the closer we are to fertility collapse so that we then move back in the direction of a world unworthy of minds that have hopes, dreams, goals, and self-actualization tendencies.

Maybe AI saves us? Who knows. We'd be completely breaking nature and remaking it in the image of our minds if that succeeded which is a far more ambitious goal than I think most people have ever dreamt of let alone succeeded at.

Correct me if I'm wrong but that sounds like he didn't fear for his safety, he feared the repercussions of retaliating (until he didn't).

Last edited by Recidivist on 23 Jun 2023, 7:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It seems to me as if I may have inadvertently posted that men don't fear for their safety in a relationship - let me just check - nope - never said that, imply it all you want though if it helps your narrative.

http://www.humanservices.alberta.ca/doc ... ooklet.pdf

Then what did you mean to say here and here?

I think what Ferris meant is that safety is typically a much bigger issue for women than it is for men because they are generally not as big or strong as men are. Most men don’t worry about going on dates with women they don’t know that well because something unpleasant might happen to them.

Obviously, abuse can happen to people of any gender.

It's a topic that can rile people up, especially if they have had harmful personal experiences, and make them word things in ways that they don't quite mean.

On a personal note, I wouldn't go on a date with someone unless I knew them really well and was already friends with them. I don't want a repeat of a past experience. That specific experience is not something that straight men even worry about.

It's amazing how people can't post true facts without getting falsely accused of "claiming the ladies have it easier."

The posters on here who have said a lot more young men are single were simply stating a true fact (backed up by data).

I've seen many other instances on the Love and Dating forum where people get falsely accused of "claiming the ladies have it easier" too (when they said nothing of the sort).

I give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't feel the need to put words in anyone's mouth.

When you say safety tends to be a bigger concern for women because women tend to be smaller, couldn't some construe your statement as "claiming the men have it easier"?

I totally agree with you (Women tend to be smaller, thus have more safety concerns when it comes to dating). It's a fact each gender (on average) has certain things that work against them; each gender (on average) has certain things that work in their favor (when it comes to dating).

I'm mainly highlighting your post to show what a slippery slope it is to discourage us from discussing how dating tends to affect each gender differently. I don't see anything wrong with your post. But if we go by the book, some might say your post technically isn't permitted.

If you scroll through the history of L&D, you’ll see that various threads have been locked due to posters claiming that a specific group of people has it easier when it comes to dating.

Most often, such threads tend to claim that women have it easier which is invalidating to the women who struggle with dating and relationships on WP. That’s why it’s not allowed.

I honestly think this "men don't have to really care about safety" thing to be a form of the "one gender has is easier" thing, and I think some of the things here are appalling. Maybe older men don't have to worry about their safety or never had to, but men my age are very aware that they're not invincible, especially gay men and even some straight men. This is just a really odd hill to die on and I don't like it.

I'm pretty sure threads saying "men have it easier" are also not supposed to be allowed. The rule isn't to just protect women, and no one should be an invalidating a**hole to anyone on here no matter their gender, especially when it f*****g comes to safety concerns.

I don’t think I ever claimed otherwise. I was just pointing out the reason for and history of this guideline on WP.

Straight men do not typically worry about date rape when they are on dates with straight women. It’s a major concern for women who date men. I’ve lived it. That’s all I am saying.

Obviously, there are other safety issues, though, and for diverse groups of people. No one here meant to be invalidating. That’s the truth.