Breakup Thread

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When I needed courage.

Role model.

I've never had a breakup where I'm left heartbroken and ignored. When my husband and I split I actually called him a taxi, changed the locks, and refused to let him back in the house because he'd been such an ass. I cried a bit as time went on but that's because I was so burnt out raising my babies alone. It's not because I missed him or wanted him back. We commenced into 25 years of court battles which he kept initiating.


BF2 - Much the same. He was abusive to me and my kids. I was terrified of him. When he finally left, because he was stoned, I changed the locks again in case he had a key. I was glad to be rid of him. He tried to come back the next day after killing my dog. I wouldn't speak to him. He got a free lawyer paid on public taxes because he was bankrupt, and claimed he'd made a mistake by leaving. He tried to sue me for damages and ownership of my home. The only song I can think of for him is below. He literally stood in my front yard telling me I'd never be able to replace him.


BF3 - He shattered my trust by deception. It culminated in a huge blow out. We didn't speak for seven years afterward. I was glad to be rid of him, too.



For #2 -



https://youtu.be/2EwViQxSJJQ


Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff, yes
If I bought it please don't touch
And keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time?
And it's my name that is on that tag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

So don't you ever for a second
Get to thinking you're irreplaceable
So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you?
Baby I won't shed a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
'Cause the truth of the matter
Is replacing you is so easy

I was heartbroken when I broke up with my first boyfriend. Only one song in this thread is about him although it’s also linked in my mind to a horrific event that happened the same day as the breakup. I remember sobbing listening to the song, not at all realizing that things were about to get much worse.

The rest of the stuff I’ve posted is about leaving my abusive marriage and trying to figure out what to do with the train wreck that was my life. Music was a very important part of that journey. At the time, I didn’t know how to put into words what I was thinking or feeling. It’s still like that for me, actually, but it’s not quite as extreme as it once was.

And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
A lot of fight left in me

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

I can understand why. I listen to lots of EMO & other depressing & angst ridden music because I still hate myself for screwing my previous two relationships up & for hurting them in the process. I'm terrified at the idea of screwing up my current relationship & I use my hatred of myself as motivation & reason to try & keep myself in check & avoid repeating mistakes. Therapy & posting about things & analyzing myself didn't help me feel better about that or about myself, it just helped me understand why I screwed up & know how to better explain things.

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time

Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed, that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream
I dreamed

I'm so sorry about that horrific day, and your abusive marriage. I agree about music. It helps me to put feelings into meaning since I have Alexithymia and can't articulate how I feel without the words or instruments of musicians (and poets ... and all the arts).

I said I wasn't heartbroken at the end of my relationships, but I was certainly heartbroken by crushes when I wasn't in relationships. These weren't "breakups" because they weren't my boyfriend, but I was pretty upset about a few different guys when I was 13 or 14.

One of the main ones was Sean, the one I cried about with the Ozzy song "Goodbye to Romance". He was a boy in my class who was in foster care. I was crazy about him but he had to move away for another foster family. I was completely shattered.

There was another guy I was crazy about after Sean, named David. My "cry songs" for Dave were Air Supply and REO Speedwagon. I cried because I loved him but couldn't have him. Dave was my best friend Kristy's boyfriend. We actually kissed a few times, but I never got to date him. He was great, and really sweet on me. He gave me romantic birthday gifts and really cared about me. I still miss him.



For Dave -



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LqEPkxZqbI

Air Supply - All Out Of Love






https://youtu.be/wJzNZ1c5C9c


REO Speedwagon - Keep on Loving You


I remember trying to tape record them onto cassette from the radio. We might have even slow danced to them.

This is the one I associate with the guy who pretended to move to Japan when I was 15.
I don't know he counts as a breakup because we weren't really dating, but we were 'in love'.
I tried to drown myself in our pool.



https://youtu.be/zhRzORqNa0E


Alan Parsons Project - Time

Scars by Papa Roach is kinda what happened with my 1st break up. She had problems with drugs & alcohol which contributed to our breakup. After we broke up she was bragging online about how she ended up in the hospital a day or so before due to getting too drunk & vomiting a lot. I'm not sure if she was wanting sympathy from others or she was trying to get my attention or trying to upset me. I flipped out & watched my body slash my upper arm 9x. She likely would not of done that if I had handled things better within our relationship & our breakup better. I spent years after blaming alcohol & drugs because I could not handle blaming myself

^ That sounds awful.



Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh, why can't I?

https://youtu.be/ToQ0n3itoII



The Verve - The Drugs Don't Work



This helped me deal when MR was at his worst with Wellbutrin.
We'd hoped it would help but it made things worse.
He's almost off it now.



I hope you're thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

I know I'm on a losing streak
As I pass down by your street
But if you wanna show
Then just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

^

March 2022

When shite first hit the fan.









https://youtu.be/PLiTwYP828w


Elle King - Good Thing Gone




Never wanted to let you down
Never wanted us to fight

Oh, sweet love of mine
I guess this is goodbye to you and I

Time is a stubborn affair
The distance was too much to bear -----> 2,100 miles to be exact

Oh, with a heavy heart
I must leave the one I love

We could've tried a bit harder
I could've practiced more patience

Look at this good love we've wasted
Another good thing gone

Neither one of us is wrong
Neither one of us is right ----> (We're still having issues with this)

I never fully have faith, you see
'Cause I always knew you'd fall out of love with me ---->

We could've tried a bit harder
I could've practiced more patience

Look at this good love we've wasted
Another good thing gone


(THIS PART KILLED ME):

So why should I change
If love always ends this way?! ----->

You couldn't put down that last trick ----->
You couldn't get that sh!t past me ------>

We could've tried a bit harder
But I just ain't got that much patience

Look at this good love we've wasted
Another good thing gone ...

https://youtu.be/cjVQ36NhbMk



The Fray - How To Save A Life



This one reminded me of MR from the day we met, because of his work as a counsellor for troubled teens and because of his grief.









I had no idea how much he'd help me over the years as well, with his unending patience, love and support.


It stings now because the words say so much more.


Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left, and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
After all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defence
Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And I pray to God he hears you

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed ----> I did this

He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came ---->

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life