I met a beautiful woman today

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Why do we get into relationships/marriage if it's so much work?

Why do people do it?

You have to have a LOT OF PATIENCE to slog through the dating process so how come some people reach the goal of marriage while others don't?

The answer is...dedication to the goal!! !

In this case the goal is getting married

To reach that point, every single couple had to suffer through the dating process first

But some people give up too quickly before they can find a perfect match and they are the ones who fail!

Some people don't even get to the point of dating because they cannot find anyone suitable

The people who are dedicated to the marriage goal are the ones who succeed

Same holds true for career goals as well

What do you think about my analysis?

Last edited by Mikurotoro92 on 17 Jun 2025, 8:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I’ve been in a couple long-term relationships, including an abusive marriage, which have given me a clearer idea of what I do and don’t want. At this point of my life, I wouldn’t date someone without being friends first. I don’t really experience instant attraction. Those feelings happen once I get to know someone.

Stand out? There are specific things that make a person stand out to me - some personality traits, like empathy, a keen sense of humor, authenticity, quirkiness, and intelligence. Having interests and hobbies, especially ones he’s passionate about, is extremely attractive, too. A compatible worldview and some shared interests are also good.

Another thing that stands out to me is having goals, whatever they might be. I’m not talking about lofty career goals or anything like that. Working towards achieving something one wants to do is really cool.

Being able to put up with me is also a plus. Well, I suppose as far as relationships go it’s more of a requirement, really.

When you’re out in public, you likely wouldn’t know if women are single or not unless they’re with a partner, wearing a wedding ring, or if you know them personally. Single women can be found almost wherever there are people.

When most people talk about being single, what they mean is that they have been through a number of failed relationships. I only was ever in one relationship that was emotionally abusive and ended over 16 years ago. I did not get married or have a successful relationship because I was unwilling to put the work in; it's because no woman aside from my abusive ex would ever give me a chance at all.

It is important to me that a partner have similar values and fun quirks etc. I'm just saying that physical attraction is also important. That doesn't mean I'm looking for a supermodel; I just have a type like everyone else.

I need sex. I'm over 40, and I've only ever had one sexual experience in my life; it was over a decade ago and it was terrible. Sex is a terrible reason for pursuing a serious relationship, but that is not required to simply have sex.

The other thing I'm concerned about is companionship: I'm permanently separated from my family, and we don't see eye to eye. I'm on my own and I'm tired of being lonely.

And because I'm getting older, I'm worried about running out of time.

Where are all these single women? Anywhere I go, all the women I meet are either too old, too young, or taken. And on the extremely rare occasions when I do meet a single woman who's close to my age, either she doesn't like me or don't like her.