why would any normal girl want to marry an aspie man?

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First of all, I have been cheated on myself. Secondly, cheating destroys families and destroys the ability to trust people.

Tim

Alright, I will take your second answer as a reason. Why do you think the illegality of it would stop it from happening if love and devotion wouldn't? would it be worth it to have someone bound to you that really didn't want to be with you because they would be breaking the law if they broke with you?

I mean, what would be the results of breaking the law. Would someone go to jail? Pay a fine? Be bound to you for life?

Merle

(I am not negating your pain, darlin'. I know too well how it feels, myself. We are just talking, ok? )

You're an aspie. Other women don't seem
so clever. Luckily, I'm good at dodging.

you still have a VCR??

wow, thank you Calandale!
I had no idea my maturity has finally caught up to my experience!
Of course, I have been naive and many times asked those questions or (something very like them) and suffered the consequences.

My own answer has finally informed me

I have finally learned one of the great lessons in this life. .

.to not ask questions I already know the answer to.

this is a very important thing,

I hope my learning this will help anyone that
needs to know if this is an important thing to learn.

it is.

Merle

Oh, Juliekitty, I've been working with "honor" killings for years and just wrote a book about them called Reclaiming Honor in Jordan. They are so heinous. I know you are only teasing, but it's a tough subject. Not very funny if you've been immersed in them for as long as I have.

That said, I just discovered this site. Someone I know has a brother who had AS (he died of cancer a couple years ago). So I've been reading your posts and learning a lot from you. Just to remind you of the obvious, dating is a minefield for most of us. One has to kiss a lot of toads along the way. Hang in there, though. Try not to get too discouraged. Someone will come along who appreciates what you have to offer. Or, at least, that is what I keep telling myself.

I'm with you on that about a female.

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind if I join your discussion. I am NT (with some Aspie characteristics, and 2 Aspie nephews) and my boyfriend is an Aspie. I went over to the AS partner board and as someone here mentioned, it is frightening.
To answer the posted question: Maybe defining what *you* need and want in a relationship is a good first step, and make sure not ot lose sight of those things. Then recognize what your best qualities are and really develop them, and chances are you will be attractive to someone. My experience is that the Aspies I love are a refreshing break from the norm, and are genuine, fun and trustworthy. I think it is really important to be honest about who you are within the first, say, month of dating someone. My BF was very open about his "eccentricities" and we did and still do have a good sense of humor about them. Always show interest and ask questions, it may not seem interesting to you, but it is an investment into having a healthy relationship.
On the other side of the coin, I think some qualities that I have that are attractive to my BF are patience, empathy, independence and my own desire not to "be normal." I think women who are walking the road less travelled, i.e. artists, musicians, or women from counter- or sub-cultures, or those in human services fields could be a good choice (they are often more understanding of differences).
Now I have a question for you: my BF is unable to tell me how he feels or connect with me emotionally very well. In the year we have been together, he has only shared one emotion with me and that is that he was jealous I went out with my friends. I want to stay with him but I desperately need advice on how we can connect so I don't feel emotionally neglected. One suggestion I found is to write to each other. Do any of you have suggestions what could help?
Thanks in advance

PERFECT! I know when something looks gross on me. All I ask is do you like this, because if he doesn't think I look divine (when going out...home is pjs or naked), then I must change my attire immediately to sooth his critical eye.

don't ask if you don't want to hear. I like my bf because I get the honest answers.

Back to the original question...who wants normal???

Really! Far better to know exactly where you stand than to get comforting lies.

I've always thought "QFT" meant
Quite
F***ing
True.

If I get married, it won't be to a "normal" person. They're too boring, and worry about pointless crap all the time.

i'm with calandale. i've never met an aspie woman irl, so my comments obviously refer to my experiences with nts.

It already is in Wisconsin, provided you're married. Look it up - State Statute 944.16

dont worry about this, trust me there are plenty of NT women who like us. You are generalizing, not all the women are like you describe them. Just keep looking, and keep learning about them.

Izzy:

Im aspie with an NT girlfriend, so im on the other side of it. I used to be very little affectionate to my g/f, but now i tend to do it a lot more. The reason is that from the beginning she has asked me for it, and over the time I have understood her perspective, and how good that makes her feel. The thing is we don't understand easily NT perspectives, and showing affection doesn't come easily for us. My suggestion is that from time to time, you ask him to hug you, and from time to time, suggest him to say something affectionate to you. At some point, he'll "get it", and do it sporadically by himself. And it's not something forced, it's natural, it just takes practice and comprehension. i think this opens up or wakes up our affectionate side little by little. At least that's my experience. i hope that helps.