Gulp

Post Reply New Topic

She said no and that a guy already asked her... and so I'm a little too late.
I might just delete her then like I deleted my ex... except this will be less in anger.

Last edited by samtoo on 30 Oct 2007, 12:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Thanks to everyone for talking and stuff beforehand...
Now I'm back to the drawing board and a little annoyed.

I'm very sorry to hear that things didn't go as hoped, although I'm glad that you won't be spending any more time getting emotionally invested in someone who is, in the short term, unavailable.

A common way to respond to such situations is to become more hesitant in the future. I hope that it will have the opposite effect. The longer one spends getting up one's nerve to talk to a female, the greater the chances that she will hook up with someone else while one is agonizing over it. You may have been a little slow on the draw this time, but you did the right thing!

I don't like being a tough guy standing my ground all the time... would be nice to have just one break in this life.

I know how you feel right now. I once hesitated to ask a girl out for weeks... I was with her and couldn't find the right words to do it, and right at that moment she received a text message of another guy declaring her his feelings. It hurts but life goes on... In the end you did the right thing, Samtoo, you were honest and followed your heart so you have not to blame yourself.

Yeah I've now started to delete every source of her from my life... I have enough bizarrely scary hard as nails stuff to try and cope with as it is...

"hug"

Sorry it didn't work out the way you hoped. I think it kinda strange that she said yes to being exclusive to some other guy and then told you you were too late - sounds almost vindictive.

Personally, If the guy I like doesn't seem interested, the last thing I'm going to do is say yes to some other guy. It's not fair to the guy you're saying yes to since you don't really like him but are essentially using him. Of course, I don't think like most women and the concept of liking more than one person at once enough to be exclusive is foreign to me.

Regardless, you did great with the way you handled everything. You should be proud of yourself.

Thankyou. Thank all of you *hugs all round*

Stuff is really quite tough now... btw I'm awful at coping when trying to sleep... so sometimes I don't bother trying to.

Meh, me being slightly cynical and paranoid don't believe her that it's all because she found someone else first.

At least she told you out right no; you don't get to worry and experience any more anxious pain.

If she's still a good person, why would you want to end a friendship though and just delete her? It's not like you have anything to lose talking with her anymore... just have fun and be there as a friend.

I'm about as soft as the come, but it's important and necessary to be a tough guy sometimes. Especially if you want to attract women.

I'm not talking about tough as in showing off and being competitive, tough as in supporting what you believe in and having passion. Tough enough to defend those you care about... to sacrifice for those you care about.

I'm still waiting for a break, but I'm not holding much hope that it will happen. I'm seriously doubting the folks who say you find love when you aren't looking for it. If I don't force myself to act around women, I will be alone forever...

Last edited by Pugly on 30 Oct 2007, 1:31 am, edited 2 times in total.

One might well find it accidentally, but finding it isn't enough, you've really got to get its full attention. Aphrodite rarely smiles on those who merely think good thoughts.

Exactly, without much experience one doesn't even know what to look for. Your perfect love could be right in front of you, but if you naturally are inclined to inaction and social isolation... nothing will happen. Unless you are extremely lucky.

Especially with me, I'm so prone to inaction, self-reflection and a crippling fear of rejection that nothing will come to me if I don't act.

It's just unfortunate that I learned this fact very recently.

Oh well.
Relationships are just more pain and BS, basically. For me, if I need someone to talk to or share the good/bad times, I have friends and family, and if I need sex, there are lots of hot escorts to rent out there. Ideally I would meet some girl and we would get along, get married, etc. but I highly doubt that will ever happen, especially now. No "normal" girl would want me after the life I have lived (people would describe me as "damaged goods"), or the fact that I have AS and can barely make it through the days. So I stopped caring, and I feel better about it now.

Surprisingly, with me, I think it's actually more a crippling fear of acceptance that's bringing me down, rather than fear of rejection. You know, the whole fear of some new thing, as if I were to get involved in a relationship, it would be like taking that back road home instead of the way that I go every day (That and I would be extremely incompetent). I came up with this hypothesis for myself because I've been quicker to stop any of the few attempts where a woman actually makes the first move.

There's a slowly developing pattern that I'll give time to realize if it is a pattern at all...
I've just tried to re add my ex as a friend because now the pain is no longer with her...
So what will probably happen is within about 3-5 months or something some other girl will give me yet more bizarre alien stuff to deal with in my brain after no dice again and I'll probably re add Heather... lol
Seems I can only reclaim their friendship once the pain is passed on to someone else... it's like some sorta infection.

It's because we tend to feel so deeply. It's hard for me to understand how NTs seem to get over things so quickly and move on.

Repression... it's how I'm now dealing with this. How long until I eventually explode with emotion ay?

ARGH!! ! I hate where I live and that... I can't really relate to my family and I want to move... but I also want to be able to qualify for University.

What the hell am I supposed to do?