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Does this happen often to men?

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ToadOfSteel
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05 Dec 2007, 3:44 pm

Drool_Thingy wrote:
The moral of the story: never marry and never have kids. All marriages end up unhappy and unloving even if the partners tolerate each other's existence.


I beg to differ on that. My parents are still married after 20 years (my mom is historically dx'ed aspie, and my dad shows traits thereof, as well as being a hard worker). They still love each other to this day. Divorce is almost unheard of in my family (at least on the aspie-heavy mother's side)... people stay married until death...

Needless to day, that kind of sets the bar high for me, especially in today's society...



lonelyLady
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05 Dec 2007, 8:29 pm

I sympathize with you with all my heart!! ! (Virtual hugs :) ) I don't understand how any woman can lie about such things, it is just so cruel to other women.

gwenevyn wrote:
lonelyLady wrote:
I think it is very sad that some women would lie about things like abuse. No matter how difficult the divorce procedure is and how much bitterness there is on both sides, this is one of those things you shouldn't lie about. There are many women out there who are in abusive relationships and are afraid to run away because they think no one will believe them/help them. Women who lie about such things make them look less credible.


I was shocked, as an abused woman, by how I was treated by some of the officers who worked on my case. They are so jaded by liars, some of them treated me very poorly. Others were very kind, but the bad ones made me reluctant to make more reports later on. I have a stack of unreported instances in which my abuser has violated the restraining order and I have not gone to the police station in over a year to update the report because I'm not looking forward to potentially being treated like a liar again. It's very stressful.

Once I made a report to an officer and later on when the case was being prosecuted, the detective working on the case tried to look up that particular report and found that the officer had lied to me about writing it up.

I can hardly blame the jaded ones for feeling that way... once when I was in the prosecuting attorney's office I heard one of those lying women call up and harrass the secretary. It was awful. But it's so cruel to treat a frightened woman like she's up to no good.



wsmac
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05 Dec 2007, 9:45 pm

My younger sister's first marriage was to an abuser.
I didn't know about it since she was living in Austin and I was in El Paso some 600 miles away.
When I did learn about it, he was in jail for the abuse and she was with our oldest sister outside of Austin, Texas.
I drove out there to help her move before he was released.
We went to the house... she said we needed some boxes... I went to the store down the street... and by the time I got back, she had changed her mind and locked the screen door.
She just looked at me and said she was going to stay.
I got upset and left.
She finally got away from him for good, but all the other men in her life have been just about as bad.

Our oldest sister was murdered by her son-in-law... 1992, El Paso, Texas.
He had been abusive to my niece and since he was in the Army, he got in trouble with the MP's.
The final time, he was ordered to stay on base and not approach his wife, who was living back with her mom(my sister).
Apparently he purchased a gun, got drunk a few days later, and drove to my sister's house.
He wound up shooting two horses, killing one... killing a friend and co-worker of my sister's... and then killing my sister.
Surprisingly, he did not harm his pregnant wife or their small boy.
He's in prison and has been up for parole twice now... rejected both times!

I have very strong feelings about anyone who abuses another person!

I just wanted to back up what these ladies say about women who find life difficult when dealing with an abuser.


gwenevyn wrote:
lonelyLady wrote:
I think it is very sad that some women would lie about things like abuse. No matter how difficult the divorce procedure is and how much bitterness there is on both sides, this is one of those things you shouldn't lie about. There are many women out there who are in abusive relationships and are afraid to run away because they think no one will believe them/help them. Women who lie about such things make them look less credible.


I was shocked, as an abused woman, by how I was treated by some of the officers who worked on my case. They are so jaded by liars, some of them treated me very poorly. Others were very kind, but the bad ones made me reluctant to make more reports later on. I have a stack of unreported instances in which my abuser has violated the restraining order and I have not gone to the police station in over a year to update the report because I'm not looking forward to potentially being treated like a liar again. It's very stressful.

Once I made a report to an officer and later on when the case was being prosecuted, the detective working on the case tried to look up that particular report and found that the officer had lied to me about writing it up.

I can hardly blame the jaded ones for feeling that way... once when I was in the prosecuting attorney's office I heard one of those lying women call up and harrass the secretary. It was awful. But it's so cruel to treat a frightened woman like she's up to no good.


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