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Wistaria
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11 Dec 2007, 11:21 pm

*raises hand* I'm asexual! I have never felt sexual attraction nor have I felt the urge to do sexual things. Growing up, I was always baffled by the absurd behaviour of people who have "crushes" on another, or who say things like "he/she's hot". It still confuses me nowadays, but at least I know I'm not like those people.

Keep in mind, that there are asexual people who do have sex (I'm not one of them, I prefer to keep my virginity for as long as possible). They do it for their partner out of love, even though they find participation in sexual activity unappealing, unpleasant, or even traumatising in some cases.

PS. Asexual couples can still reproduce using artifical insemination if they're not up to doing it "the usual way humans do". :wink:



polyrhythmia
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12 Dec 2007, 12:02 am

I would have to say I am asexual. I have never had much interest in women and my experiences with men did not arouse me. When I was a teenager, I did not have the sex drive that most teenage males are afflicted with. Normally, any arousal comes shortly before dawn, and that can be taken care of without the assistance of a partner. Evidently, being touched is overwhelming to my senses and makes it impossible to get aroused. When I was younger, I presumed I would somehow meet a woman and fall in love and get marired and do the whole nine yards, but I realize I find the human body to be repulsive and I don't have any interest in sex.



hartzofspace
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12 Dec 2007, 12:30 am

I find that if I am touched in a sexual way, I tend to "short circuit" for lack of a better description. Touch rapidly gets overwhelming, and turns me off. Add to that any smells, pleasant or unpleasant, and it loses any appeal it may have had. Just get overwhelmed, I guess.


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Averick
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12 Dec 2007, 12:50 am

Heck no!!



OMGpenguin
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12 Dec 2007, 12:55 am

Mw99 wrote:
I feel attracted to women, but live an asexual lifestyle. For all practical purposes, I am asexual.


Haha yeah, aside from that seldom outburst of awkwardness, pretty much likewise.



Angelus-Mortis
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12 Dec 2007, 12:21 pm

According to a definition I heard of sexuality, none of us are technically asexual. However, to match everyone's definition of "asexual", I would say that I am.

My only "love", if you may call it, would probably be math.


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insomniakat
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12 Dec 2007, 12:50 pm

I wikied it to make sure I knew what it meant, but even they admit its ambiguity. http://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Asexuality

After reading this thread, I think it's safe to consider myself asexual. I have never been attracted to anyone in my life. However, I can look at someone and note that they are pretty, cute, whatever. It just doesn't DO anything for me in a sexual way. I have tried intercourse before with guys and it hurts, so I don't want to be with a guy that expects sex. Also, I rarely think they are cute anyway. Most women are attractive, so I have tried lesbian relationships. I think they work better for me, even though all women are insane, make no sense, and are prone to emotional outbursts, and DWE (deciding while emotional).

I am about to celebrate my one year with my gf in a couple of weeks actually. If it was up to me, we could never do anything again besides be platonic. I only do things to her because she obviously wants and needs that sort of thing. She's tried to do things to me a few times before, but I just feel bored and she gets no reaction, and so she stops after a minute.

I also don't feel connected to people, so I don't get that out of a relationship. I also feel bored by kissing, and tend to forget to do that unless she reminds me (she thinks I'm teasing her, when I just forgot...but I never correct her).

The only thing I do want is cuddling and harmony. My gf and I have never argued. She's very sweet. Super sweet. I like her because of that. She's just a really, really good and genuine person. Therefore, I put up with a lot of things and do a lot of things I normally wouldn't do for someone.

I don't love. I don't feel it and can't project that. I don't even miss anyone, although I can miss the feeling of cuddling. But the amount of things I do for her that I get no pleasure from? I guess that's as close as I can get to caring about/loving anyone.

Oh..as an addedum. I rarely even get horny. It typically only happens when I've worked out a couple of times in a day for a few days or when I had a job that I was extremely active. My therapist said I might have low testosterone, and I might get it checked. That might be interesting to know, but I don't feel a need to do anything about it if it does turn out to be low. I sort of like not being guided into irrationality by hormones.


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alphacent
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12 Dec 2007, 4:44 pm

I don't deny "lusting in my heart" (ala Jimmy Carter, I think?!). But, I am very uncomfortable and self-conscious having sex with a real person! I guess it has to do with my desire to avoid people in social situations. Plus, I don't understand how people can have sex with FRIENDS! Sex seems like such an "unfriendly" activity. Maybe this is a result of my Puritanical :oops: upbringing.



BlueMax
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12 Dec 2007, 5:33 pm

Boy oh boy... how many of you people who DON'T like sex (or just have no interest in it) were told it was "dirty" and "bad"? Or abused? Or SOMETHING!

To not have any sexual feelings somehow doesn't seem..... human!

In any case, I was definitely driven by sexual hormones when younger (though seldom successful in finding partners) which warped the beauty of what sex is really supposed to be - which has affected my married sex life... I'm working on altering certain perceptions and ceasing all porn in order to improve sex with my dear wife.


...when done right, it's a wonderful thing - far more than just hormones and body parts. Our psyche is so closely related to it, that abuse and perversion just ruins it for many people. (I'd almost say the MAJORITY of people! Sexuality is under brutal attack from all sides.)



insomniakat
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12 Dec 2007, 5:37 pm

BlueMax wrote:
Boy oh boy... how many of you people who DON'T like sex (or just have no interest in it) were told it was "dirty" and "bad"? Or abused? Or SOMETHING!


Me.


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BlueMax
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12 Dec 2007, 6:38 pm

insomniakat wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
Boy oh boy... how many of you people who DON'T like sex (or just have no interest in it) were told it was "dirty" and "bad"? Or abused? Or SOMETHING!


Me.


There's good news - things can be turned around with some GOOD counseling, or a GOOD therapist, and/or a GOOD sexual partner. (When I say good partner, I mean one who will help you in the appropriate, sensitive manner - not the Sex Marathon winner!) :)

There's no reason why we Aspies can't enjoy life.... and all it has to offer - even if it can be more difficult sometimes.


Let's face it - in one way or another, everyone is "damaged goods".



scumsuckingdouchebag
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12 Dec 2007, 6:48 pm

Quote:
There's good news - things can be turned around with some GOOD counseling, or a GOOD therapist, and/or a GOOD sexual partner.


Maybe I'll be motivated to try that once I have some other tasks completed.



Strapples
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12 Dec 2007, 6:56 pm

anyone thought of having this thread moved into a members only or adults forum... i dont really think sexuality falls under "general autism discussion"


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12 Dec 2007, 7:33 pm

Actually, I'll send it to the Love and Dating forum.


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Strapples
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12 Dec 2007, 7:35 pm

Quatermass wrote:
Actually, I'll send it to the Love and Dating forum.

Thank you quatermass for the quick response and quick movage to a more "correct" forum..

as of right now i have no continued comments on the thread so im just going to leave it back to you guys to go back and forth about this... sexuality does not really interest me at all... :roll:


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BlueMax
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12 Dec 2007, 8:05 pm

Strapples wrote:
as of right now i have no continued comments on the thread so im just going to leave it back to you guys to go back and forth about this... sexuality does not really interest me at all... :roll:


I'm sorry to hear it. I also get the impression you're lumping sexuality in with dirty stuff like porn and strip clubs - but it's hard to get a correct impression out of forum-smilies.