Realistically speaking, would you ever date a guy like I?

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I guess there is a slight difference of culture here. I live in London and seriously nobody I know apart from my mother has their own house, or even part of their our house, (mortgage). Everybody rents because its just too expensive to buy. Occassionally you run out of money completely and have to go home for a year or so and pay off your debts. But no one I know is even bothering to try to save for a deposit.

Here in Lebanon living with parents till 30 is something very normal.

With an average home price of $90K and with an average salary of $500 that shouldn't be a surprise. The rent prices vary between $200 and $1000 per month.

Dude, I'm dating your clone. Except your clone also has anxiety problems up the wazoo and doesn't have a job. Fear not, you'll get a girl some day! But you do need to get out of the house.

Just because there are guys out there who are horny enough to date you it doesn't mean that you are not unattractive. That being said, do you live in Ireland?

I would not date you because your rudeness is appalling.

One girl in the entire thread has been nice to you and you thank her by inferring she must be ugly and you would never date her.

No, I did not infer she is ugly. She might very well be not unattractive, and I have no reason to doubt her, but if that's the case then it's certainly not because there are guys out there willing to date her.

I missed the part where I gave you the impression that I suggested I would never date her.

It's not that people think you are a loser, they may think that, due to lack of experience, you may not know how to take care of yourself. I think it is different here, even for women. I know some (Christian) girls whose parents will not let them live outside the home until they are married. I think this is fine.

But not for me. This is because I somewhat believe for a person who has been sheltered, or extremely socially anxious and reclusive, this may be somewhat harmful for me to wait until I am married. I can feel that I am not gaining any experience on being used to the real world. SOmetimes I get out there and it almost feels too much. I forget what it's like to be around people. I dont want to wait until Im thirty because in the US, I'd be in the same position as a kid out of university, and I want to be ahead of that. I'd be at a disadvantage.

Also, my parents are conservative, and they hate when I have my boyfriend in my room. I'm 21 (my conservative university makes students sign honor codes to live at home until I graduate) and it's a little ridiculous to have my dad send my sister to check on us every 30 minutes, and for me to have to leave my door open, and for my parents to moniter whether he curses or not. The thing is, most women know that theyd have to sneak around parents with their adult boyfriend or deal with the parents' rules. If they have respect for your parents, they wouldnt go against their wishes, so it makes it easier if you have your own place and your parents aren't watching (or know)your every move.

I definitely agree that it is okay to move back in with parents while you repay your college bills. It's a very smart thing to do. That's why I sugested to move out before he is 30, if he is able to.

I have very few reasons to doubt that by the time I am at the level where I am actually capable of bringing women home I'll be a lot older than 30.

I'm not in a rush to get out of my parents' house.

I brought back my old avatar. It's a picture of me. I know everyone has different preferences and I'm probably not a lot of people's cup of tea, but I don't think I'm unattractive. No I don't live in Ireland, I live in California. I'm half Irish and Ireland is one of my obsessions.

In the U.S. (or at least in California where I live) people usually don't get their own house either. Way too expensive. Most people I know rent an apartment with several roommates. I live with my parents though.

My boyfriend is from california, and my god I can't believe how expensive real estate and even rent is out there. Where I live it is much more unexpensive, but everything balances out with the expense of the living and salaries so I guess it is about the same. Everyone I know rents an apartment until they have a family, then they move into a house for more room, and space for a dog to play with the kids and a kiddie pool, and all that.

you are pretty btw.

I haven't been a young lady for quite some time so I asked some young women (1 at 19, 2 at 22, 1 at 23 and 4 at 25 year olds) during a break at my place of business. I just asked "would you date a young man of 25 that still lives with his parents?" the answers came thick and fast "no! he would just want me to take over for his mother!" "probably doesn't have practical knowledge of budgets and bill paying!" "who cleans HIS toilets?" "what? no "whoopee?"" "he better live in his own apartment, though" "who cooks and clean for him?"
The nineteen year old was much more open to it because "I would like to meet his folks, and if he lived with them I could always use that for reasons not to become physically intimate if I didn't want to." The 25 year olds were the most vocal about it being a turn off/ deal breaker because as one put it "I am looking for a man that can take care of himself so he will appreciate me when I look after him"

your mileage may vary as I live on the NorthWest Coast of the North American Continent.

It wouldn't have bothered me provided I got along with his parent/s and other family.

I personally don't understand the aversion people have to those who live at home; it must be some social thingy I'm lacking.

I don't mind if she lived with her parents for life, for whatever reason; it's erroneous to assume that people cannot look after themselves if they live with their parents (speaking objectively here), it's also a throwback to inequality, i.e., men own cave and earn money to buy...stuff; women look after cave and have babies. (The mother/partner conflict/replacement that many women fear is hilarious too; men would have just "taken" their mothers in the past after clubbing dad, and society then would have been completely different if men "wanted" their mothers.)

Most young men/women with Asperger's live at home; I guess it's one of those additives that add to the inability to form relationships.

Yeah, it might only apply to NT single adults.

I can't think of a reason why a man over 30 would want to live at home, though. If someone could tell me one reason, besides taking care of incapble parents or disability or saving for a house/paying off loans, I'd be grateful.

So let's put this in perspective. I've seen two reality dating shows, where one of the contestants still lived at home with their parents. One lived on the couch at home. The other lived in the basement. Both were DEFINITELY NT. I dont know how old the couch guy was, but no one seemed to forget the idea that he was a mama's boy. I dont know if he was paying of debts, so I didnt think his situation was that bad. Not enough for ridicule.

The basement guy, however, he was in his late 20s. Perfectly social. His parents admitted to washing his dishes, his clothes, he had no job, they even admitted he had issues if his parents asked him to mow the lawn. To be honest, what it did was make him look like he was 17, not 27. It just did not seem like he had taken on the responsibilities of an adult yet. And by that age, most people in the USA would expect it. I guess people see that if a person had the skills, has the ability, but never uses it, it's not adult. Some people, like my father, think it shows lack of ambition.

It's not that those women think the men wanted their mothers, it's just people will assume an NT man who lives at home lets his mother or father do things for him. So therefore he may only want a women to do the things his mother did.

Personally, I just wouldnt want the concepts of relying on myself to be a new thing when I'm that age. By that age, I want to be established, have that skill by experiencing it, and to know what I'm doing without help from anyone. I feel it is important as I have been too reliant in the past, and I think it does build character.

It may be different for people with AS.

He/she likes it? One can be perfectly "independent", established, self-sufficient and full of life experience yet still live at home. Some people are very "pack" orientated after all, it's just another "normal" way of existing; people live near their parents for this reason too.

It's only a place of residence, a place to eat and sleep; the former doesn't even need to apply.

One can live in his own house and do nothing; no upkeep, no maintenance, no household chores, no nothing; but one could live with his father/mother, because he likes them, he gets along with them, and he does all of the former which the person who lives by himself doesn't.

As I said, it's only a home; it doesn't completely define a person.