How Do You Feel About The Words, "I Love You"?

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makelifehappen
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17 Jan 2008, 1:22 am

I remember thinking and feeling that people were lying when they uttered those words in the past.

I am all grown now and know that my James has love for me and it feels good.

While I am completely in love with him, I find I say the words far too often. To the point that I wonder if he is going to jump off a bridge if I say it one more time! I am not entirely sure why I do it either...perhaps it is a reassurance thing. I think he needs to hear it because I am so lost in my other planet stuff that if I say I love him 9 million times a day that he will trust that I am not purposely absent....

I have seriously annoyed myself with the words this week though!


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JoeNapo
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17 Jan 2008, 2:06 am

almost means nothing to me, It seems that right now in my life, the only girls im meeting are the ones that tell you that they love you within the first week.



Aspiegirl89
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17 Jan 2008, 9:33 am

JoeNapo wrote:
almost means nothing to me, It seems that right now in my life, the only girls im meeting are the ones that tell you that they love you within the first week.



No joke, I absolutely DETEST people who say those three words within any less time than about a month. You can't possibly love someone so quickly! Love takes time- it's like a good sauce...needs to simmer a bit before the full flavor of it comes out.

Just a thought; if someone says I love you so quickly, do they just love your body? Your positive attributes? Surely that's all they've seen of you yet....they haven't seen you on the toilet, they haven't slept next to you, they haven't heard you burp, they haven't seen you stuff your face with chili or whatever....they don't KNOW you...they've basically just really met you.


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Turtle000
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17 Jan 2008, 9:34 pm

I've never said those words to anyone and I'm sure I'd feel uncomfortable doing it if I ever do decide I feel that way. I think you're right, I would rather hear someone say why it is they love me or what they love about me because if someone ever did say they love me I'd most likely be thinking WHY?!?!



singularitymadam
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17 Jan 2008, 9:51 pm

I utterly fail to understand the feeling behind this statement. A few people have said it to me, but I was frightened and didn't care, so I just thanked them. My parents have told me they love me, but I know they have a difficult time telling me because I never know how to respond in kind. I do not know what it is like to love....

So I bought this book, Emotion Explained, by Edmund T Rolls. It is a textbook for cognitive science and experimental psychology published by Oxford University Press. The charts, diagrams, and technical language help me to understand so much better than poetry ever could. I occasionally wish I could understand this hugely powerful emotional need that seems to encapsulate much of humanity, but I do not want to be so dependent or vulnerable. I like me how I am, most of the time.



techstepgenr8tion
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17 Jan 2008, 11:22 pm

I have no problem with those words, but I'll sure as hell never say it if I don't mean it. Its not infatuation, its comittment. The real sense of that term is this; that persons not just a fling, not just someone your exploring yourself with before you move on and go your separate ways.

However.....if you see so much good in them for yourself....if you feel like you have so much to offer them and they have so much to offer you, that they're indispensable and irreplaceable in your life...... that's how I think you get that thought across to them.

Its you saying that they're worth that much to you that you'll have their back, you know that they'll have yours, you'll be strong when they'll be weak, you'll do everything you can to make their life more uplifted and better in general, and your both building that same upward spiral for each other because those are the words etched on both of your minds and hearts.

In the meantime I'd hate to think that a girl I was dating would be bugged not to hear that out of me in the first weeks, month, possibly year, even ever if things didn't go that way. I just know that I still couldn't bring myself to bring it out lightly; I could be compelled by a high intensity moment, like if her world was crashing down around her and it brought us close (if I were there to comfort her through it it may bring me into that emotional frame a little prematurely) but still, that's heading toward the gray area where you do have to step in and get over your reticence at some time or another.



Usagi1992
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18 Jan 2008, 1:21 am

Better then the words "Let's just be friends." :P

But in all seriousness, I think those 3 words are extremely important, and shouldn't be tossed around lightly, or it won't mean anything at all.



Lurv
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18 Jan 2008, 1:34 am

I really don't like it when someone says that without meaning it.



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18 Jan 2008, 2:16 am

lastcrazyhorn wrote:
This might just be me, or it might be an aspie thing; hence the question.

I don't think that for someone to say "I love you," it necessarily means anything. In fact, to me, they're just hollow words, unless they're backed up somehow with specific input on why.

It means a lot more to me if someone says something like, I love you because . . . or, that's why I love you (when they're being serious of course); or if they say I love you and they show me how, by doing something.

See, people are all the time saying "I love you," and then go about doing things to prove that they don't really. They speak with their mouths and lie with their actions, and somehow think they're telling the truth.

Opinions?



I think the more times that a person says "I love you", the less meaning it has each time they say it.



ToadOfSteel
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18 Jan 2008, 3:00 am

LVBen wrote:
I think the more times that a person says "I love you", the less meaning it has each time they say it.


See also: Just about anything else you could say repeatedly...



paolo
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18 Jan 2008, 3:25 am

A good test for the veracity of your love should be this: Would I like to have you at my side when I die, some decades away. And: would I like to be at your side if I survive you when your life ends? And all this not out of a sense of duty, or obligation, or moral task.


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logitechdog
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18 Jan 2008, 4:52 am

I Love You = Is above "I Like You" does not matter how much you love someone in the beginning it's how much love you have built up on it...

Love the way you feel in my arms,
every waking second I can not think of anything else but how much I love the twinkle in your eyes,
I love to dream about you & I,
Loving you Make's me feel like the most special person in the world,
I love the way your hair blows in the wind,
& I'll never get tired of saying I love You,
Because you are my one & only


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Legato
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18 Jan 2008, 9:59 am

For me, the words I love you have a huge amount of meaning, which is why I hate saying it, since I can't honestly say I've been in love. Though I've had a couple situation where love could have developed. Even when crazy drunk girls are like "OMG I LUV YOU" I get a weird feeling for a sec before I realize it's meaningless, like "really? wait, what? no, of course not..." The word love in and of itself has lost alot of meaning to most people, and we even have strange ways to lower the value of the word, like "I love them to death" or "I love him, he's a great friend" or something. Do I love my friends? Hell no, but I do care about them alot.



beef_bourito
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18 Jan 2008, 6:13 pm

i never say them if they're not true... which is why i haven't said them to anyone outside my family to this point.

i agree that the word "love" is overused. "i love chocolate" do you really? would you take it out on a date? do you care if it dies/breaks (not including chocolate bunnies, i have a hard time biting into those even though they're oh so good)? i don't think so.

Someone's said "I love you" to me once (outside of family members) and it was really awkward. I won't go into details but it weirded me out (we weren't dating) and i kind of kept my distance for a while.



LVBen
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18 Jan 2008, 6:34 pm

beef_bourito wrote:
i never say them if they're not true... which is why i haven't said them to anyone outside my family to this point.

i agree that the word "love" is overused. "i love chocolate" do you really? would you take it out on a date? do you care if it dies/breaks (not including chocolate bunnies, i have a hard time biting into those even though they're oh so good)? i don't think so.

Someone's said "I love you" to me once (outside of family members) and it was really awkward. I won't go into details but it weirded me out (we weren't dating) and i kind of kept my distance for a while.


From m-w.com:

1 a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b: an assurance of love <give her my love>

2: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>



beef_bourito
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18 Jan 2008, 6:37 pm

true, i guess i used a bad example. i just think people overuse it, they'll say they love something like a tv show that they just discovered, then stop watching it the next week.