why have I never had a boyfriend?

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I think its just life, just keep putting yourself out there, you'll find somebody

Id go out with you even though im not your age. I have the same problem with girls. Girls say im too nice and serious to go out with and i have a weird personality that turns most girls off. We should chat on aim if you have it. I like talking to people online. add carl35017.

/hits on the OP

But 4rly, try dating more! The more men you can evaluate, and vice versa, the greater your odds of finding someone. Unless of course something about your selection process tends to men who don't consider you dating material. But even then, the odds are in your favor if you date more.

From what I get from your post is that you sound intimidating to the guys you've met. I know I get intimdated and/or turned off by strong and independant women.

Like others have said, a lot of men like the "bird with a broken wing" kind of women...I know I do. For me, I would like to feel equal to or slightly above a woman...not at their feet, ready to get trampled on.

Also, women in general have a lot easier time getting dates than men do. So if you have a decent figure, pretty face, or great personality, you should have no problem getting a guy.

Hi there!

Its not your intelligence, its not your physical appearance, its not how much money you earn, its not whether you "need a man".

Its simply (and bluntly) put - the fact that you're desperate.

Unfortunately, in most walks of life and in most countries of the world, love is a game. It never goes the way you want, and you have to play it like you're a world class poker player. I'm not saying screw with the guy's head, but in your case a measure of restraint would be the ticket.

It's not about laughing at their jokes or pretending to be something you're not, its about creating interest beyond a platonic relationship, and teasing that interest into something more. The first part of the game is physical attraction - without it you're only ever going to be a friend. Don't dress slu*ty, but read the fashion magazines and take pride in yourself, show off your curves and feel comfortable in your skin.

The next part is where it really matters: Go out, be who you want to be, do what you want to do. Go to places where people with similar interests as you go to have fun, go in a situation where you can meet people, talk and most of all, have fun doing what you want to do.
Don't concentrate or even think about whether you will meet someone and fall in love, focus on yourself and having fun. If you meet someone and you like them, GREAT! onto the next step.
If not, who cares, you had fun!

Now, you get to know the person (to an extent). Its about talking about whatever you want to talk about, and listening to the other person talk about whatever they want to talk about, and enjoying it. If you're not enjoying it, move on, change the subject, whatever. If there's no chemistry, let it go, be mature enough to recognise that its not what you want, even if they may want you.
It's about talking about yourself, and listening to them do the same. About sharing funny and entertaining stories and most of all BEING YOURSELF!! !
You don't need to get all physical on them, but you can look online for possible body language cues (as we aren't able to do them instinctively) that suggest you are interested (if you are).
If you're confident that you are interested, and think he might be too, and you have made the signs, its time to let the man make the moves.

If he doesn't, then it's not your fault. Let it go, but don't suggest you had a bad time, maintain that interest, but prepare to let go if he doesn't reciprocate that interest.

You are a woman after all, and you deserve to be chased, so let it happen. If it doesn't, then he is either more nervous than you are, or he isn't interested. If he is nervous about making a move he still should reflect the interest that you share. In that case you don't come clean and tell him you like him, just be more obvious with your cues and suggestions. But keep it duplicitous, there needs to be that element of doubt to draw them in, and also give you a chance to move on if they aren't interested in following through.

Anyways, that's as good as I can give at the moment. Good luck, and most importantly HAVE FUN and forget about WHY WHY WHY, and just do what you want to do. You never find love, love finds you!

the social culture here where i live, men are so lucky they can get dates left or right, i'm 33 and very terrified of being close to a guy. i don't know whether it's the AS or just me feeling this vulnerable when it comes to dating. chatting and online thing i don't have a problem.

There are so many variables that go into this, I don't even know where to start. First of all, you sound great from reading your post but my experience has been that:

1. people tend to "lie" about themselves on internet forums, or certainly leave out crucial details that could swing things the other way;
2. the way people project themselves online is not the way people project themselves in real life;

Let me explore #2 above. When I read your post, it gives me some mental image of how you may be in real life. But this is not real. It's just my imagination trying to fill in the gaps and piece together the puzzle of your persona. If I met you in person on a dinner date, for example, I may notice some things here and there about you that even YOU may not realize about yourself. For example, the way you interrupt me when I was talking about my great African expedition. Or the way you order food at a restaurant. Or the way you laugh. Or the way you conduct yourself with the waitress. All these little things matter in the mating ritual. Once, I had a first date with a very attractive woman. But during dinner, she had a way of looking off into the distance past my left ear lobe that, for some reason, disturbed the bejeezus out of me.

It's the little things that matter. You can't resolve this issue on an online forum.

It's impossible to know why without knowing more about your personality. I can't help but notice you list a lot of facts about yourself, but next to nothing about your personality. What are you actually like to be with? Of course this is a very Aspie thing, but your partner would not be living with your achievements, he'd be living with your person.

When younger I was often rejected in favour of men with lower income, lower intelligence, lower academic acheivement, lower career achievement and higher criminal records. It baffled me at the time and my response was to work harder at yet more achievement - and yet more rejection.

I now believe that the main thing the men had who were chosen in favour of me was that the they were just more enjoyable to be with. And this is a huge issue when you're thinking of spending large amounts of your time with someone.

Maybe you struggle with flirting? Another common AS problem. Sometimes I even feel that I'm flirting outrageously, only to find that the other person has noticed nothing at all and has long concluded that I'm totally asexual.

Anyway, I'm in your age group and more intrigued than frightened by your success. If I wasn't already married with children, I'd be on the next plane to whereever you are in the world

honestly Id have to see a photo...and hear what type of jokes do make you laugh