This isn't me being insensitive

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Ladygirl
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09 Aug 2008, 10:04 am

Cyberman wrote:

The reason for my negative (but truthful) statement is because the OP obviously made this thread to show off and get a pat on the back. She tries to cover it up by claiming that it "isn't me being insensitive," and tries to imply that it's some kind of victory for other Aspies because "if I can do it, so can you"... but the truth is that this is only a victory for her. And statistically, female Aspies tend to fair better than male Aspies when it comes to relationships, so it's not that significant. Now, if we could see more male Aspies like Aspie_Chav or Tim_Tex having success, that would be significant.

I titled this thread the way I did because I questioned if I should even post in here. I understand the severity and sadness that's on here, I've posted in the opposite frame of mind as well. I didn't want to 'cover it up' as you say but rather preface a post that might make some people feel worse. Read the things I've written in the past. I've been there.

Naturally my relationship will be more of a victory for me than it is for others, as I think is universal. If we're going on the idea that it's worth more for a male aspie to have a fulfilling relationship than a female aspie, then you can give benjaminbreeg a pat on the back.

Aalto wrote:

Essentially she's just lighting up the mood 'twixt all these grim posts about our incapabilities, and gives good-hearted encouragement, in my interpretation. And when you're in love with that I can understand wanting to proudly declare it. Hey, it happened to me once, before I even knew I had AS or dealt with it. On top of that, I remain surprised as Tim's dating troubles; I hope the chap sees some success very soon. Evidence does seem to point to AS women being more successful, but I wholly suggest that this shouldn't be taken as a message that us fellows aren't doomed.

I can't really say much more than that, just that it doesn't really help to reply to even the success stories with "Oh, but I'm a fatalist", or at least, that kind of attitude.

Aalto's got it. Exactly. Exactly.

benjimanbreeg
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10 Aug 2008, 10:22 am

Cyberman wrote:

Aalto wrote:

Cyberman wrote:

Yet another example of how Aspie women are generally better off than Aspie guys when it comes to relationships. You're not expected to be "strong" all the time... we are.

You're like a small puppy that defecates on your best Persian rug every time you've just finished cleaning.

I'm sincerely sorry, but can't you at least make an obligatory post once every week reading: "Whee, life!"?

lol. Careful! I think Tim and Chav will be ok. Maybe they should widen their approach a little more, I was lucky to find the love of my life online.

LePetitPrince
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10 Aug 2008, 11:50 am

Quote:

And when you're in love with that I can understand wanting to proudly declare it

True...very true...but she could do it elsewhere ;-)

Tim_Tex
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10 Aug 2008, 7:45 pm

Cyberman wrote:

Aalto wrote:

Cyberman wrote:

Yet another example of how Aspie women are generally better off than Aspie guys when it comes to relationships. You're not expected to be "strong" all the time... we are.

Actually, I have been in relationships before.

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Praetorius
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10 Aug 2008, 7:50 pm

Ladygirl wrote:

This isn't me being insensitive

Well, if that's the case then here's me not being offended... Brag some more!

techstepgenr8tion
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10 Aug 2008, 8:01 pm

Ladygirl, I think this is the way things tend to work out in general. You'll have these huge dry spells, that you can't climb out of and seemingly for no apparent reason. And then, when someone does come along, that will also seem to come along for no apparent reason as well. I still have no idea what to make of things myself, irritates the hell out of me that its something I literally have no control over on my own (aside from the common-sense aspects of just getting myself out there and being my best self possible).

I do wish you luck though, hopefully even if it doesn't go the distance you'll at least have that much more life experience to back yourself up in future relationships and even better understand what you do need and want in a partner, which is something that's very difficult for many of us to sort out especially when there is so much relationship-primacy involved.

Praetorius
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10 Aug 2008, 9:15 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

Ladygirl, I think this is the way things tend to work out in general. You'll have these huge dry spells, that you can't climb out of and seemingly for no apparent reason.

My life is a huge dry spell.

LePetitPrince
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16 Aug 2008, 5:33 am

Let me submit a sub-topic in your topic:

I am not being insensitive or jerk , I know how harsh for aspies to find a relationship even inside our greenish planet...hmm

I don't care how harsh the rest of posts would be because I was pitying you guys and gals for your bitterness and your miserable lonely life.

but I met this amazing girl. She is the kindest , the most gorgeous, the prettiest, sweetest, most caring and the sexiest girl ever ...you singleton aspie guys can die with your enviousness and rot in hell like I care!

I love her more than anything else and she loves me insanely, DIE!

And oh ...did I mention that I am hugging her every night while you singleton losers are hugging a dull pillow every night? HA! But again, I don't care about the severity and the anger of your upcoming lame posts because I was commiserating and pitying on you for months! hohohoho.

We did a lot of silly things to be together ....some are naughty things that you might never experience them in your little miserable life you poor creatures.

She'll be my princess forever wooohooo!

(Please, everyone make it through the things that are happening now, good or bad so another person can find you and make you as happy as she makes me.)

She will read this and she will reward me greatly

the above post is just a parody

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 16 Aug 2008, 11:23 am, edited 4 times in total.

Rynok
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16 Aug 2008, 7:23 am

LePetitPrince wrote:

Let me submit a sub-topic in your topic:
I am not being insensitive or jerk , I know how harsh for aspies to find a relationship even inside our greenish planet...hmm
I don't care how harsh the posts of the rest of posts because I was pitying you guys and gals for your bitterness and your miserable lonely life.
but I met this amazging girl. She is the kindest , the most gorgeous, the prettiest, sweetest, most caring and the sexiest girl ever ...you singleton aspie guys can die with your enviousness and rot in hell like I care!
I love her more than anything else and she loves me insanely, DIE!
And oh ...did I mention that I am hugging her every at night while you loser singletons are hugging a dull pillow every night? HA! But again, I don't care about the severity and the anger of your upcoming lame posts because I was commiserating and pitying on you for moths! hohohoho.
We did a lot of silly things to be together ....some are naughty things that you might never experience them in your life you poor creatures.
She'll be my princess forever wooohooo!
(Please, everyone make it through the things that are happening now, good or bad so another person can find you and make you as happy as he makes me.)
She will read this and she will reward me greatly

You found yourself a hermaphrodite!?

Nice going...

Yeah, I got the same feeling from the OP.
The whole "Not to brag, but I found this amazing guy and we're gonna get married and I'm gonna live happily ever after! Don't despair though, I'm sure there is someone out there for you. If I can do it, so can you! Just don't act like an Aspie...that turns us girls off. Kthxbye"

Anyways, not to be mean or anything, but if you feel entitled to tell us about how deeply in love you are, would you also tell us how depressed you get when you break up? Just thinking that would make things fair and all that.

(Typically, people DONT post when they get in a relationship, and they DONT post when they get out of one...mainly because people don't really care...just fyi)

LePetitPrince
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16 Aug 2008, 11:21 am

^^ that's in order to irritate all aspies from all types of sexualities :lol:

MissConstrue
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16 Aug 2008, 6:03 pm

Didn't we have 2 threads of guys who said they were in a relationship finally in the Love and Dating forum. I didn't see much of so much of this debating as I do in this thread and I really don't know what all the fuss is about.

As for the OP, good luck it might last and then it might not. If it doesn't or you get jilted, post here in the Love and Dating Forum, that's a rule. :shameonyou:

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Rynok
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16 Aug 2008, 6:34 pm

I don't remember seeing the other two, but I would imagine it has to do with how she said it.

benjimanbreeg
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16 Aug 2008, 6:39 pm

MissConstrue wrote:

not gonna happen

IdahoRose
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17 Aug 2008, 12:19 am

*sighs wistfully* I can't wait until I meet a man like that...! <3

benjimanbreeg
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17 Aug 2008, 7:22 pm

no guy is like that.

Preston
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18 Aug 2008, 2:10 am

benjimanbreeg wrote:

no guy is like that.

*Chuckles* You guys are terrible.

Let her have her success story. She seems to be sensitive. My best relationship was more of a kind-of relationship, and I missed how relatively happy I was. Now, I'm all-single, unemployed (though going back to school in a few weeks), had two apparently-friendship-ending fights over a matter of days, and loosely contemplating suicide. Team Preston has seen better days hehe.

Cyberman wrote:

And usually, it's only women who are control freaks who are attracted to insecure guys.

False. And bossy women are hawt, so don't discourage them kthx XD

Ladygirl wrote:

The reverse is also true. Guys generally want girls with confidence, extroversion, and direction over us girls with zero self-esteem, extreme shyness, and no idea what we're going to do with our lives.

I disagree. I could find an insecure, shy woman to be cute, easily. I would guess that many other guys are cool with it too, but I might be wrong. Quality communication matters. Telling me when I've said something that offended them while silently holding it against me, and not talking trash about me behind my back w/out bringing the issue up with me first are important.

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