(non-intelligent) girl has a crush on me

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You have a superiority complex like many bastard 'genius' aspies here who brag about how brainiac they are yet they are ret*d in many other things. Are you sure that you are superior than this girl in everything? Why I have the feeling that she may be superior in other things?

Education level has a poor impact on IQ btw ...IQ is more affected by raw intelligence

This girl deserves someone more modest than you.

Watch out about your bragging, you might explode one day.

I am sorry my typing gave you the impression that I am an arrogant bastard genius. I used the example to explain something; because I cannot find the proper words in a language I do not speak on a daily basis. And a few posts later I am an arrogant and evil Aspie...
It is definitely not my intention, and IRL I could have made my question a lot clearer. Sorry for the confusion.

If I was an evil genius bastard I would not have asked for advice her on the forum... I could have painted here black with certain people, instead I gave myself as a reference for her volunteer jobs. I am trying to be nice to her and like her, but also having some doubts. I was hoping for a bit of good advice, since I am not knowing it all (otherwise being on WrongPlanet would be pointless). Maybe even a bit of sympathy. Probably I did not deserve that with some users. It is already the second time in my life I am being called arrogant in my face... so probably a lot of people think the same? Luckily some users saw trough my terrible typing and gave some really good advices.

I really care about her and I hope she cares about me. And I am going to talk to her and give her the necessary chances to show herself a bit more.

Likewise I spent two years on the Devil's advocate I was wrong, not moving on. Me hoping she does not feel entitled to me coming down almost every weekend 20 miles.

You are mistaken LP. Everybody has preference. You could just as well argue that people like my grandfather who couldn't handle a smart wife so got one less intelligent are equally as arrogant. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting somebody with intellectual similarities. Preference is natural. There is no point living a lie. There are practical implications if you are not compatible.

None of this is counter to evolution either. ‘Strong’ gene that you like to bring up requires variations without these it would grind to a halt. ‘Thoroughbred' animals have stagnant genes and as a consequence of that get various health problems. It is not a co-incidence that intelligent animals have a high degree of individuality. That is why the ‘strong’ can’t fully eradicate the ‘weak’ because that would be self annihilation for them. Even within species it is usually necessarily for the to be a relative range, even if you still like tot think in terms of ‘strong’/‘weak’ or ‘good’/‘bad’. Natural selection is only the basic premise it is an old theory now, most evolutionist now realise that it is much, much more complex than that, even though the denialits are stuck on the same thread and still bang on about holes in the old theory because it is easily to do.

Besides why are you making an exception about intelligence? So you are not preferential about that, but you are preferential about a whole load of other things. That makes you a hypocrite calling somebody arrogant for their preference. The arrogance point is redundant anyway, unless you have a preference for 'arrogant' non-'arrogant' people in which case you will using your own definition. It is all preference regardless.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 06 Aug 2008, 2:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yourself said that Intelligence is multifaceted , he seems basing intelligence on level of education only.

Yeah. Asterisp, this has happened to me on this site too, and way worse (cursing, etc.), but I think Le Petit Prince is bordering on not being helpful, but still is helpful. It's a kind of gray area. I think a way to see it is, "Hmm. Am I being overly judgmental of this girl in a way that doesn't balance my imperfections into the equation, or are we just not intellectually compatible. Hopefully, your plan to go sailing will help you understand that." Who knows, maybe she's a genius in some other area, but it's not an area you're looking for, or maybe she's not a genius in ANY, but well rounded, and MAYBE you're really great at some and overlook some important ones. If you don't work out, it doesn't necessarily mean she's lacking, just maybe not a fit. But do take to heart that there may be many ways to express intelligence or capability, and some may be of value to you that you don't know about yet.

Yep but that is his type of intellegence/thinking.

Don't get me wrong anyone can be misinformed. Even some people like to act stupid when they are not. The fact is he did not gel with this person, and this is nothing other than natrual prefence. he might change his mind but many people just don't have time for that.

You got it right.

In this instance.. He could change his like and dislikes, or become more aware of them, but in this instance they are not compatable from his POV.

Yes it seemed like that. I could give other examples about her, but that would have made the story a lot longer and I thought it would not clear things up. Just a short example. An acquaintance noticed: "nice girl, but she is saying not a lot. At least not intelligent things." Should I continue... I hope not, it would not be useful anymore. I have seen some new points and have a plan. At least I learned I should phrase my posts better.

And I will try to give her an honest hearing (and at least one or two nice days), maybe I learn something, maybe I do not... maybe it works out, maybe it does not. I hope I learn something good about her I have not seen before.

Last edited by Asterisp on 06 Aug 2008, 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Stop wasting your time and hers , you are already self-convinced that she's a 'dumb' girl and you are far more intelligent than her, break up now and let her move on soon.

::Sighs:: And this is why you and I don't get along LP.

Asterisp, don't listen to what he's saying.

But I would advise you to take your own council on this and listen to your heart (should listen to the techno version of that song, awesome). My advice on this is simple: Get a new set of friends, date the girl, and call it good. She sounds like a pretty awesome person who'd want to spend time with you. Though you do have a slight ego issue, get rid of that, put yourself in her metaphorical shoes after you spend some time, it works and it may help you out a bit.

Sometimes I wonder if what you are going through is what a guy I know was going through with me. Recently, I told him to go away because sometimes he was short with me and annoyed. I couldn't take it because it underscored that he didn't love me. It hurts now. I miss the good parts about him very much. It didn't work out for us. But even though it hurts, I am very glad that we tried to be at least friends. He is a good person, and he didn't take advantage of me. So, what I'm saying is, that even if she is eventually hurt because it doesn't work out, she will feel ok inside if you treat her with respect. And, of course, you and she are different people than me and my friend. I'm rooting for you both to find the right people.

hehe, I don't care man. Why you are even telling me this?



I was telling him that for her own good not for his , since he made a whole long thread about how she is intellectually incompatible with his 'superior' intellect power then nothing will work, he will never treat her as equal. I highly doubt that he'll sacrifice his set of friends just for her.

That is an important consideration.

You doubt. See, there is that word. Doubt. It is a strong word, just like the word Never. and remember what the Pigeon said? "Never Say Never Say Never." so I never say Doubt. He'll do it. He realizes that it's his friends controlling him, and as such he has to get out from that whole situation. He has too much of an ego issue already. once he breaks that, he'll realize she is just like him.

and for the record LP, I dated a girl sort of just like the one that Asterisp likes this past school year. She was a bit outspoken, and very vivacious, and so forth. we had met in 1st grade, and then back in 8th grade, and then last summer started dating. My friends felt we were moving to fast. I didn't want to listen to them, because my lust(yes, it was lust) was affecting me to much. I didn't hang out with my friends for a almost a whole semester, I didn't really go to church that often( important part of my life) and I felt like there was something empty in my life. she and I broke up about four times and got back together, before one of my housemates in January finally told me that if I wanted to make things right and do the right thing, then I needed to let her go. I did that, and life has been better. I found a better church, found a whole new group of friends, and starting attending an on campus bible-study. she and I still talk occasionally.....

My point to this is that Asterisp is going to have to make a choice between her and his friends, and he will eventually do the right thing. I think that if he likes her as much as he says he does, he'll chose her and damn the consequences that he faces. he knows what he's doing.