British Men and Dating

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The problem with this is that it's turned into a ME ME ME kind of thing. Not just sex, but nearly everything else in modern culture. Very very selfish. Selfishness is rewarded. Aggressiveness and lack of concern for others, also rewarded. Sex was God's gift to mankind, and it's been corrupted along with everything else. I mean, look at our cultural attitudes towards sex. Look how much damage they do.

I do agree. I was surprised when I realised that many girls over here consider kissing more personal than sex.

The other thing to watch out for with the majority of British men is that silly little game that you call 'soccer' and that we refer to as 'the beautiful game' and all that jazz. Personally football bores me to tears and I cannot really fake an interest enough to watch it let alone pretend I know what i'm talking about.

Over paid hairdressers, some of whom can literally barely string a sentence together get treated like endangered servants and given Bentleys just because they can run around after a ball a bit and dive on the floor whenever another man comes near them.

There are exceptions to the rule but mostly British men will be passionate about football and/or cricket (which also bores me to tears) and/or rugby (which is a good sport). Football is the simplest game so it appeals to the most people. Don't ever get between a British man with a few pints of Carling inside him and the Setanta Sports channel showing premiership highlights!

Can I make a suggestion? I assume that you have pretty firmly held religious beliefs, probably Christian (?) Rather than ditching them, as others have suggested , I suggest that you seek out people with similar beliefs. That way you are likely to make a network of friends who will help you to settle in, and you're more likely to meet the kind of man whom you want in your life.

The attitudes which you attributed to British men are by no means universal. They're stereotypes. In fact, they're stereotypes which conflict with each other. I doubt that there's much overall difference between British men and American men. You are going to get confused if you try to attribute one set of views to an entire country. It depends on the man, as it does anywhere. Don't assume that the guy you meet has any particular viewpoint just because he's British - you'll want to enter into a dialogue with him and exchange views. I know a lot of British people - male and female - and no two of them are exactly alike in their views, attitudes and personalities.

You don't have to put out. Being honest (with self and other person) about what you want and need in a relationship is very important (though not to be said on a first date).

Don't have sex on a first date, the guy may be just wanting a one night stand. Very important to be in love and to be loved before even considering sex. Your wanting to be married first will make it more difficult to find the right guy but it is not impossible.

There are dating services that specificly cater to those who want to get married, both people then know that the other is looking for marriage prior to the date happening. Doing an internet search for them is a good idea. Don't worry about the stigma, if there is any for you over dating services. Try them first before deciding to put out on a date.

As a British man myself I find all this very amusing, national stereotypes are always totally inaccurate and ridiculous, people who are anything like their national stereotypes are so rare I don't believe they wouldn't make up even 1 percent of the population.
IdahoRose the right person for you surely has to be the one who treats you right, it really shouldn't matter what nationality he is, there are just as many British a**holes out there as there are in any other country on earth.

I know this as I've known loads of guys who threat women like garbage, in fact it seems to be a favourite hobby of theirs! I can't imagine there are too many women out there who want to be used for sex and nothing else but what do I know?

That's the coldest sex description that I ever heard in my life , no man would be satisfied like this, sex is not just finger into the hole.
Won't it be painful if you are not excited enough?

Yes, it would be painful for the female if she weren't excited enough. That's why foreplay is so important, ands also why rape can be so physicaly damaging for her. Rape is a prime examplar of the evil that men do.

How did a thread about dating British men turn into a tread about rape!

Hi. I'm a British male, and most of this seems like a crock of s**t to me. I'm going to have to generalise here, becuase people are different and you can't just pin s**t on everybody the same way.

It differs from man to man as far as the paying half the tab thing. Some guys think it's only fair to pay just for what you ate, rather than half the tab. But then, our meals are cheaper overall because we aren't completely obliged to tip. As for the buying drinks thing, that 'never heard of such a thing!' incredulity sounds like it was made up to me. But there's kind of, more of a code of chivalry over here, and generally the guy will buy all the drinks for the girl.



- We are far more relaxed about sex on the first date over here. In America there seems to be a bit of a 'sleep on the first date and you're a slut' mentality, but over here... if it happens, it happens. I've slept with girls on the first date and none of us felt like we were being whores.
- That's because the grinding dance is pretty gross. Being up for having sex in the bedroom and disliking very public supposed 'indecency' are different things. However, and this is relevant to the previous bullet point too, quite a bit of shagging in the toilet goes on in clubs.
- There was something called a 'ladette' culture for a while, it was basically where girls started acting more like guys, drinking pints, swearing, staying out all night, etc. And - and again this is generalising - most guys don't want that. They want a girl who is a girl, they don't want to essentially be shagging their best mate (that's another one: girls, you are NOT our best friend, you are our girlfriend. These are separate things).



- Well, yeah I'd say that the guy does usually prefer for the girl to do most of the calling, not all of it. And being 'too aggressively chatty' doesn't mean he doesn't like being called, it just means she was calling him too much. There's a difference.



I have never once heard the phrase 'shag date' before. However, the whole 'dating' thing doesn't go on as much in Britain, you just tend to spend time together and do activities, rather than specifically having date one, dinner, date two, movie, etc. And most men will be looking towards the finish line, yeah.



Well that's going to be an issue. You just need to find the right guys.

Thank you for your responses, everyone. Sorry if I offended any of you with the generalizations I put down in the first post. Those were things that I had come across while googling phrases like "dating British men"; I don't actually believe them to be true.

Really? I hope the guys overseas think so, too...

Nice pic IdahoRose.

My thoughts direct from the UK are why would an 18 year old be worrying about serious relationships.

To me 18 is all about getting an education and having loads of fun.

Travel for it's own sake. Everywhere you can. See everything that you can. If you meet a nice guy along the way, cool.

It sounds as though there is a lot of the USA still to see. And there is a big, big world beyond that.

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Last edited by IdahoRose on 11 Aug 2008, 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You are not my type.

Lol, I was never planning on going out with you, anyway.