I wonder if I'll ever have a relationship..

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Aspie guys are not the only ones that stay single, there are plenty of NT females that are single too, did you ever think that perhaps those of us that look for those qualities are more likely to have trouble finding people like that ? Especially if they are all sitting on the forums

I met my husband online btw.

Dating for Aspies is not easy, but at least I try (that was difficult enough). Unfortunately last time was not a success, but at least I learned some things about myself and dating in general.

I am confident about getting a relation someday, but before my 30th birthday will be a challenge.

I think that perhaps there may be a lot of over-generalization with the "why can't I find a mate" subject. I think that perhaps the most important challenge that we have to overcome is the anxiety that comes with social interaction, and this isn't really AS specific. There are a lot of "disorders" that contain anxiety as a symptom or component; take post-traumatic stress disorder, for example.

From my own perspective, I've been married twice and "fallen in love" a few times over the years. The last long-term relationship I had lasted 3 years, and it happened when I wasn't even looking for it. It also happened for some wrong reasons (she was unhappily married and controlling and demanding and, self-admittedly, neurotic), so I ended it.

A part of my job at work is to coach new employees so they can improve their performance, which involves looking up phone numbers for callers (411). For some of the more "reserved" employees, I have to point out that it is a psychological game, and that they have to "get outside" their basic personality and talk to these people when they call to get them the information they want, if it exists. Sometimes it's not what you say, it's how you say it. And I've told them that we have NEVER had an employee strangled by their own headset cord because a caller reached through the computer screen and did it.

Sometimes you just have to sit back and say, "So what?" So what if she said she just wants to be friends? So what if she said she wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire? So what if she fooled you and other NT people into thinking she was interested in you? There are more women in the world than men... Put the anxiety in a box and go do something. Get outside yourself... it's not really "fake", it's just a different component of yourself, and somewhere someone will find you basically attractive so you can open the box a little bit and see where it leads. That's what I'm having to do right now, and it's not necessarily a fun or easy process, but neither is hiding behind my emotional wall all the time either. Some women seem to go for "Mr. Mysterious" anyway... so be mysterious. Be aloof. Be silly. That comes naturally anyway to most of us, and tell yourself, "So what?" Don't be so self-absorbed that you are the center of the universe; just be a part of your honest self until you feel comfortable with being your ENTIRE honest self with someone.

Can you tell me if there's going to be a paradigm shift in the next 5 years, where women will actually seek such qualities such as loyalty, honesty, and integrity, rather than false confidence?

...only if they finally get tired of two-timing, dishonest, and generally false people in general...
I have a different perspective in that I have a stepdaughter in her 20s, who has picked (well, I am a stepfather... some of the worst bad boys around. After seeing all the grief they've given her, her choices have improved...

It's just the parent''s curse - all the 'mistakes' you guys are going to make, we've made already. But we can make you believe us...

Long story short; you just have to keep trying. Sure you'll occaisionally get rejected, but everybody in the world gets that.

I may still be a teenager but I recently felt the same way, I've only dated 2 girls ( both NT) , one of them didn't accept who I was too well after just a couple days. All the other girls i've tried to ask out may have found me attractive but didn't like my "personality". I just called the other girl (who lives over 600 miles away from me now, we broke up since she moved away and we didn't even date for very long) 2 months ago and we fell in love. She accepts me the way the I am , she appreciates my bizarre mind and everything about me. I never thought i'd find love 2 months ago, but now I feel so happy . I realized... you control your own fate. You may have to wait for love to find you... but be sure to let love know you want to be found. It's never too late.

Well if you really think that it turned you into an evil prick and your convinced you will never have a lover maybe an online sex search would suffice? Or if you wanna spend the big bucks try some prostitutes?

Nope, those things don't have any appeal to me at all. Neither does some later-age relationship.

But how will you ever get your sex? =p
Oh now wouldn't ya know, 69 posts haha

I'm not interested in sex anymore. It would've been good when I was young, but it's too late now.

It's all in your head, one can never be too old for sex, particularly with certain medication lol. However I understand it more than you probably think I do. Usually people who are "asexual" are products of extreme sexual frustration/deprivation, to the point where they just say f**k it, and train their minds to not desire it anymore. If ya try you can get hard again and enjoy it I promise you

Good luck bro

Whoa whoa whoa wait a minute!

If you want a relationship, then you will if those godamnit girls stop being picky! Alright? Its up to them for being stupid to pick crave guys that can cause them to being emotional, like crying for help. > Rape.