DOES ALL MALE WITH ASPERGER'S DESIRE SEX?

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This is indeed truth. Sex is the flagship desire and need of humans. Screw it! I am not human than. I've been sent from another planet. i don't want sex. I don't think about sex. I don't give a minimum damn abouth anynoe and anything - including myself. I don't know why am I still here. Live is no bless*

No, I understood - and I disagree. It is NOT a need, it is a desire, and there is a decided difference between the two. When you have evidence, Zak, I'd be glad to see it... but here, you're expressing opinion. If someone goes without sex for a year, they will live; if they go without food, they will not. You're talking about relationships, which can wilt when faced with a lack of intimacy - but that isn't a person. You can say whatever you like; I say it is desire.


M.

ZakFiend,

I hope 4 ur sake there's no1 here checking 4 potential sex offenders : Cos if ur one of the ppl u allude to:

, then I take it u learned a reliable way of chatting up girls (or sustaining relationships) so as to ensure a reliable supply!

I guess it's like all the best things in life -If it's obviously available, you're going to take it, come what may; if it's not, you do without, your whole life if need be. Sex is only necessary for the species as a whole; not for individuals-

Also, although I'm physically attracted to women, the idea of having sex feels unnatural for me, and I'm 29 and only mildly AS. I've often turned down opportunities - All that being judged as suitable genetic material when it's none of one's doing, for starters; why should I want that on my plate?!

Lack of natural 'feel' for sex is clearly more common in AS women than in AS men; as usual, females' inability to conceive offspring while already pregnant means they're looking out for the interests of the gene pool far more consummmately on a subconscious level, in this case by refusing to pass on their own genes. {Remember sex exists to advance evolution, not our individual pleasure!}



I don't believe any non-retarded male has so little self-respect as to stoop to the level of assaulting some1 just 4 sex (rather than 4 a sadistic sense of power). Like u said:





Funny that all sounded kind of pissy; I guess there's nothing like sex to get the juices flowing

Its funny you say that many people assume this. Allot of people who commit sexual assault are normal people who dont think there going to get caught. It is a stupid thing to do but stupid actions dont always come from stupid people.

The reason sexual assault is rarely purely sexual in intent is tied up with the nature of normal male ego (although edgy things happen when ppl r ur age, Airborne!). I'm frustrated that some ppl here seem to want to give ammo 2 that Facebook group (''Protection from Autism Force for Young Females") that's been mentioned on this forum, but I still can't see intelligent adult men, AS or not, sexually assaulting women unless they're on some kind of [power] trip.

Let me explain - Being wanted makes every1 feel good, right? So if a woman doesn't want you, that doesn't do wonders for your self-image; if she's fighting you off, there's got to be a parallel with being rejected socially. Do ppl see where I'm going with this?!



Err, wouldn't they get caught by the person they're assaulting?!

ReGi, I suspect that some of the posters on this thread are trying to sound tough and 'with-it' (about sex in general), but are ending up coming across as creepy perverts

Not sure if I know what You mean...

I wasn't having a go at them, and they don't include u, so don't worry about it

P.s. I had trouble coming to terms with sex atfirst

Unfortunately, you're quite right. But I should like to point out that many people have the ability to neglect their needs-though usually not the most immediate bodily needs such as oxygen,food, drink, and bathroom habits. But for some people desire can become just as strong and as compulsory as (bodily)needs! Most of us have enough self-control when it comes to our wants but there HAVE been cases of people who cant control themselves.

There are those incidents where control is lost; I do not find that moves it into the category of need. Desire can overwhelm and become compulsion; this too is not need. I agree that there are instances where it is exceptional, but it doesn't change the fact that an obsessive fixation is not the same as a necessity.


M.

The point being, even if it isnt a "need" since yes people can live without it, many people treat it like a need and in some cases th compulsive desire for it becomes as powerful as the *need* for food.

'Neglect their needs'?! What good does plain old sex without love do any1 after they've lost their virginity? As I said, sex is a need for the species as a whole, therefore it is not a need for its weekest members, who are liable to pass on less adaptive gene patterns.

Among aspies, therefore, maybe it's 'necessary' for Bill Gates and Steve Jobs to f*@#, but I wouldn't extend this to include all of us, especially those who are lower-functioning {And remember guys, no contraceptve is 100% proof against fathering kids}



Again, I really hope you're not trying to paint a picture of some aspie suddenly shooting his load over an unsuspecting passing female, cos that picture ain't pretty ; neither have I ever seen it (apart from just now in my wayward imagination!) - I guess you're referring to men in general tho, and guess you're right - Self-control is a wonderful thing to learn

On the other hand, you'd have to be a hell of a fool to cut off your own supply of the stuff

Last edited by undefineable on 03 Dec 2008, 4:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've just realised what that sounded like in context

Well, ReGi, that is the heart of your problem. Life should be a blessing, and you definitely should give a damn about yourself. Now, I know where you are coming from. I used to be the same way. I didn't know what Asperger's was, all I knew is I was different from everyone else. In groups, I could tell that there was more to conversations than the words were conveying, but I didn't understand the language. When the hormones kicked in and sex became an issue, I was even further out in the cold with respect to the normals, which was the term I used. And I could tell, with every passing year, I was slipping further and further behind.

So, I gave up. I stopped trying to play the game that everyone else was playing. I did my thing, I made friends, and I focused on making myself the best possible person I could be according to my rules. Because it just isn't worth the game if you don't like yourself. The only important opinion is the one you have of yourself. And that you need to work on.

Ok, you are a female and that is a lot tougher for you to do. And, I can see how the whole sex issue can scare you to death. I am a guy and it frightened me out of my wits. Don't get me wrong, I certainly thought about it, but if it was only the sex, I could have hired a prostitute. But that prospect was never even under consideration.

For an Aspie, the big problem is that this is an area where NT non-verbal communication is at its most sophisticated. Which, of course, we traded for our many other positive qualities. And it is pretty clear that whatever reason evolution had for doing this to us, reproduction wasn't a major consideration. So all we can do is cope.

For you, you need to get to a place where you do give a damn about yourself. Nothing worthwhile can happen until you do that. It sounds like that will take some work. But, you have a lot of time. In addition, I would suggest you try to make some friends. The Internet is a wonderful thing for Aspies. All of the stuff that gives us so many problems go away when you communicate via keyboard. Now, to compensate, emoticons exist. I see several on the left of my screen. This is a great leveler for Aspies, no trying to guess with that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that you are missing it. So make some Internet friends. And not just here, but other places. You are on equal footing with NTs, take advantage of it.

And don't worry about sex. You have too many other things you need to work on in your life. Now the desire might get strong, but unless you are ready it could be a disaster. Those emotions are pretty strong, and Aspies just generally aren't equipped to deal with them easily. We get used to walling them off and when they start busting through those walls, we are caught flat-footed...

Haliphron - I see your point, but I make a distinction in that they -choose- to treat it as a need; it is not a need itself. Compulsion is something different than need as well, but I am notorious for having semantic oddities - but in this case, that would be a matter of internal and external drives.


M.