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NeantHumain
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07 Dec 2008, 8:57 pm

I've thought about doing this before because I'm meeting very, very few women here in St. Louis; I've only been on one date, and she had just moved here a few months ago. I've gotten the run around from women several times before—promises to go on a date broken, rescheduling after rescheduling, etc. I try to put my best foot forward, but it's not easy here; I too have the good job, a place of my own, etc.



techstepgenr8tion
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07 Dec 2008, 9:02 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
I am not limiting myself to a specific geographical area as far as meeting people. If the person I connect with the best lives far away, I may have to travel, or at least chat on e-mail or IM until I finish school and can move to where she is (or if she decides to move to where I am).

But connecting with that person is the most important.


I don't think I'd do so well with online long-distance dating. Chemistry tends to be a big enough issue that I almost feel its unfair to bother someone 3000 miles away, unless I was the one hopping on a plane to go out and visit them. Even at that its months of their time vested and the possibility of me meeting someone on here or another aspie site that I'm wild about seem next to nill, the close calls are too rare and far between.



techstepgenr8tion
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07 Dec 2008, 9:08 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
I'd say change of scenery would do you good unless you carry the burden of personal issues that you think will go away. Like they say, "No matter where you go, there you are."


Right now there's no more available baggage to throw off, all that's really left is either the unchangeable or may very gradually change over time as my brain chemistry and neurology allow.

MissConstrue wrote:
So you might want to find a place where there's a little action but not so much that it stresses you out.


I consider myself lucky on one particular angle - I don't really have any hypersensitivities to sound, crowds, or anything like that. It could be aggravating if I'm in an area with hardliner political lefties or righties but that's about it aside from the obscene (like 2 or 3 hour traffic jams on the way home from work - that grates on anyone though).



techstepgenr8tion
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07 Dec 2008, 9:12 pm

ImTheGuyThatDidThat wrote:
""I have to ask since you bring this up a lot. How does one
find female aspies or even know that they're an aspie?""

^
That is a good question, i have been wondering about
that since i see it come up in post now and then. I dont
look for anything in particular like that and imagine it
has to be difficult to for example look only for AS woman.
And i would imagine it would suck really bad to meet
someone one really likes but that dont have AS.


I'll say this much as I've met many aspie women through both support groups and yes, a few from here IRL. You really can't tell them that much apart from more introverted NT's. You know because either you met them through it or you met them at a support group. I've met plenty who I felt were highly suspect, the few I brought it up to though didn't really seem to identify or get traction with it (and my friend Amy mentioned that some of her husband's friends seemed the part - same thing - had them watch Mozart and the Whale; no reaction, either they just looked it or spectrum self-awareness may be something more often created by diagnosis than anything).

On another note though, I realized that its all the same - no special spark that I felt over and above what I could feel for an NT, so it came down to the same factors.



techstepgenr8tion
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07 Dec 2008, 9:17 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
I get the idea that trying to move elsewhere sounds like a "grass is greener" tactic...

If you have another reason to move, such as for employment, then by all means do so.

But if you're using this as a means to find women, once you start, you'll just keep moving (wrecking your finances in the process), lose all roots where you grew up, and just generally drift with few goals in life...


Again, my expectations are pretty realistic. Ohio just sucks, the climate change, change of available venues, meeting new friends, possibly a livelier club scene - all those things are perks in my mind; scorpions and 110 F dry heat are a small price to pay for just checking out a new site and seeing what its worth. There may be plenty of cons out there and, if that's the case - cool, my heart won't be shattered if I feel indifferent about the quality of the move; I'll at least be able to tell myself that I didn't live my entire life in northeast Ohio.

Yes, its partly its over women but also, if nothing happens there - its not something that would bear repeating for its own sake (so, no, I wouldn't keep going from place to place over that). The idea of my friends moving out of state to the southeast or southwest is just really a catalyst in something I want to do anyway - try other places, live a little, etc.