Um...how can I ward off female followers?

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True, but according to the OP, he's already got them chasing after him: he's just looking for an excuse not to reciprocate without appearing rude. If he appears to be taken, then no matter how much the other girls throw themselves at him, he still has a valid reason no to flirt back and will actually come across as a nice guy in the process...

I sort of know what you are going through. I've had a few girls that liked me before, believe it or not. They got mad at me and called me gay, or asked if I was afraid of women because I didn't show any interest in them.

With me, I have a certain set of standards (not just looks), plus I am not really ready for a relationship right now anyways.
I think when you don't give them any attention (like most other guys), they think you are playing hard to get, and that makes them want you more.

I would say just be honest with them about your situation, so you don't come off looking like a prick. Maybe they will pass the word around to other girls.

Tell them, "I'll date when I graduate. I've got to get Magna Cum Laude when I do."

In other situations, maybe try, "Would you still date a guy if you knew he had Asperger's Syndrome?"

Have you tried a stick? *joking*

in my case, i do not have any girls after me now because i work from home, and i do not go out much any more.
also i have a girlfriend (sort of) anyway.

when i was working from 9-5 in an office for 10 years, some girls in that time found me to be interesting.
the ones that were interested in me used to try to get to know me and i liked to talk to them at work. they seemed very forgiving and accommodating of my obvious communicative awkwardness.
the ones that became friends usually asked where i was going to have dinner and i told them the tavern where i go and they asked to come along and maybe have a drink with me.
i do not like drinking much, but i said yes because they seemed "nurse maidy" like they were more interested in disabled people than normal people.
i feel comfortable with people that have a fascination for disability and how it feels.

so then, most often, they asked what i was going to do when i got home. when i said what i was going to do, it usually made them want to come home with me. like i may be intending to go into the sound room and put some more piano tracks down to some idea i had last night, or polish off an animation i am doing etc. they mostly were very keen to see my place and the things i do. (at work i am a rigid monotonous robot, and at home i am a relaxed monotonous robot)

we nearly always became good friends for a while (well what my impression of "good" is anyway), but it always fell apart for them.

here is the rub:
they were the type of girl who is mystified by a seemingly intelligent, but very unquantifiable person.
they were obsessed with alternative neural wiring , and seeing me behaving in the way i do, and i became very happy to describe my view of the universe to them.
they were highly stimulated for the first few weeks, but it is always the case, that sexuality has to rear it's head in relationships between opposite genders.

they felt in the beginning that i was a timid shy person who only needed the "loving of an undiscriminating girl like themselves" in order to "come out of my shell" and blossom.
unfortunately, it does not work out that way for them
they become a sounding board for my long narratives, and they eventually sat there "splay eyed" (splay eyed is opposite to cross eyed).

the last time a girl called "laura" (the last girl that was interested in me(she was very nice)) came here, she turned up unannounced and said "hi mark honey! whatcha doin'?" , and i alerted her to the fact that i was in the middle of testing a triangular reduction routine to see how numbers are resolved in a numeral pyramid composed of triangular planes of diminishing area that themselves perform numeric reduction by subtraction of adjacent base values resulting in intercedent values that comprise the next level of the diminishing area of the triangular planes.............and i wa sgyt r ygdgi' ing as well so she went and sat down and i had my back to her for a further hour and i was playing with the program and i was announcing what i was doing. she seemed horny because she was sitting in the chair in a similar seductive posing way that some people in magazines do. she said she was tired and wanted to go to bed.

i asked her why she dropped in if she was tired, and she just said she wanted to lie down.
i let her (i have only one bed (king size)).
i stayed up and played with my electronic toys and every now and then, she yelled "mark come to bed!! !"
i eventually did, and i remained fully dressed, and i lied far on my side of the large bed which gives 3 feet of space between 2 occupants. she was disappointed i guess, because when i woke up she was gone and i never heard from her again.
she was not a work colleague.
i never went to bed with work colleagues.
they never got to try to seduce me and they lost interest before they found out i had a heart of stone.


so the thrust of this outrageously long story is that if you let them be your friend, they will have to put up with what you are capable of or else move on. they make that decision.
you provide the reason for their decision.

aspergers for me means i have not a romantic bone in my body.
it is sterile to eternity when you talk to me for ever.

so to worry that girls will become totally obsessed in the long run is feeble.
they will realize that that "dashing sexual savior knight" they yearn for in their deepest dreams is not going to be springing from my circuit board mind.

maybe just be their friend. some will leave you when they realize you may not be seduced, and maybe some will stay.
those that stay are probably well worth having as friends even while you are studying.

^^ B9 has a good point. Tell them you are asexual, don't want sex. Then you can be their "safe" guy friend.

i am not asexual.
i would not lie about me to anyone.
it makes me feel empty to think about living a lie.

the reason i am not sexually interested in my female friends is that no one can reach and touch me in a way that i need, and i am not interested in the vast majority of approaches.

when someone expects me to take initiatives they will be disappointed because i never think about it.

that is all. you can not fake anything because if you do, then all that you attract will be people that can not see through fakeness.
fakeness is perverse to truth, and there is no "con job" possible to commit to "get rid" of a girl other than frank dismissal.

"i am sorry i am not interested in you.
thankyou very much for your gesture of friendship but i am having a great time anyway."


so never lie about yourself.
even if you are a pri*k, you are better to reveal it with innocence rather than hide anything.
some people will reject you summarily at the slightest problem of social integration, and they are not people i want to know.
people that remain on foot after the realization of my callous kind of heart, are the ones i soften very much for and i love them in the best way i know how.
they are few.

OK. I didn't catch that earlier.



That is a more honest approach with girls that follow you around, if you get good at saying that in a way so that they are not insulted.



This is great advice. Hard in college where there are people everywhere, but it is great advice for life with AS.

Thanks for insightful comment.

In theory, telling a girl you are gay will get her off your back; in practice... not so much. I used this excuse once in a desperate moment and lived to regret it, because this girl ended up telling everyone I was into dudes. It opened up a can of worms... the girl I turned down ended up getting a bunch of gay guys to ask me out when she found out I had been lying. The girl I was actually aiming for ended up going for another guy since she thought I was gay (it turns out she was into me, so I ruined that). Then I also had to explain to just about everyone I knew what happened since people started avoiding me and acting weird. I also almost got beat up by some people since they thought I was gay. Sad, I know.



I have also had girls that I turned down spread rumors that I'm gay. I've lost track how many times it's happened. I guess it's their little way of getting revenge, although I always turn them down as nicely as I can- I don't like to hurt people. I try my best to be nice to everyone, so sometimes girls misinterpret me being nice as liking them. Then when I don't show any real interest in them, they must assume I'm playing hard to get, which does get them obsessed. I've never purposely played hard to get, but I think it would only work on someone who already liked you.

But yeah, I can understand the whole unwanted attention thing. I'd say that 3/4 of the single girls I've worked with have asked me out, and I've turned them all down. I wasn't interested in any of them, and I really don't want to get involved with co-workers anyway. The fact that I work with multiple people I've turned down is awkward. I experimented for awhile with being aloof thinking it would help, but I just ended up coming across as a jerk which was just as unpleasant. On a sidenote, the only co-worker I was ever truly into was too caught up with abusive jerks to take notice of me. Funny how that works. But that's a story for another time.

Wow, all you guys need to start threads on how to get women interested, for the rest of us guys who would like to be in your position. Seriously, if I had half as much interest from the opposite sex as some of you claim you had, I would probably have more sex partners than I could keep track of by now!

you can borrow my face for awhile...it doesn't do any good, and I'm up for a job interview next month, and I could use the attractiveness...

Seriously, while magna cum laud (sp?) is a great thing to do (I graduated cum diploma... College is a place of maximum personal freedom and minimum responsibility. Don't overdo it, but you may regret later being totally to the grindstone. Maybe after you ace the tests.

If simple honesty doesn't work for you, try acting flamboyantly gay. They'll still want to hang out with you, but won't be as upset if you tell them you're busy, and as long as you don't right out tell them you're gay they're just making (incorrect) assumptions. It's exceptionally unlikely that any of them will come right out and ask, and if they do you can just tell the truth and explain. It's likely that there will be some unpleasant ramifications to this approach, and it should be noted that I'm basing all of this on logic and a limited understanding of human social interactions so my advice should be taken with a grain of salt, but I think it would be a wonderful social experiment.

capsicum spray may work if they are not rabid fans of yours.