Porn & Marriage

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I must adamantly disagree with any such general statement. If both partners agree with the arrangement of their marriage it is all good. There are even healthy "open marriages", and married swingers.

I think porn can have a place in healthy marriages.

There are certainly times when a couple due to work schedules and kids and such have trouble finding time together.

I think if one partner has a much more active labido then it is better for them to just take care of it rather than pressure the partner, or perhaps resent them.

Besides some of us may like the idea of their spouse engaging in such activities...

Porn finances the Internet more than all the pop-up ads put together.

No porn == No Internet

Good point. I recall reading that VCRs and by extension DVD also owes its existence to porn.

My problem with porn is that it seems like much of it is silly parodies and such.

I completely agree. Looking at someone other than one's spouse with lust falls within the definition of adultery. It is ridiculous to gawp over a fit woman and say that it is ok so long as there is no carnal contact.

I am 62 and I enjoy porn and have been married 27 years so far. Don't make generalizations about things like most normal people do.

If this constitutes a generalisation, then I will have to revise my definition of what a generalisation is.

I am not yet married, but I fully anticipate that I will from time to time look at other women with lust and so mentally commit adultery, unless of course I go round with a blindfold all the time or something. Whilst this occasional mental infidelity is inevitable, if and when I get married to my girlfriend, I have absolutely no expectation that she will put up with me deliberately seeking to mentally gratify myself with the sight of other women by looking at pornography. I am sure that if I am married to her for any length of time, I will from time to time find myself deeply ashamed of instances where I look at another woman with lust in moments of weakness, but the shame will be unbearable if I look at other women with lust through my own deliberate fault (i.e. by looking at porn).

I don't think that porn has much to do with lust or mental adultry, it's just something that's interesting to watch and not much more than that. It's just entertainment the same way that most media programs are and I find it hard to believe that watching porn can change the way somebody feels about their partner one way or another.

I generally don't have a problem with things like nude statues, like those famous Ancient Greek ones, as they are normally intended to have artistic merits. Similarly, I don't have a problem with sex guides, as they are intended to inform, and if a couple is to improve its sex life, then some explanation of the suggestions is necessary so that the changes can be implemented. The argument you made about pornography being merely interesting to watch is similar to an argument I make about South Park: - I don't particularly like their take on sexually explicit matters, but I think the show has a very large amount of comedic value and I like most of the political views that the makers express. However, pornography's intended purpose is to incite lust.

What you said about it not changing the way one feels about one's partner is probably quite similar to the rationalisation many Latin American men make for their physical adultery i.e. "the fact that I sleep around doesn't change my feelings for my wife".

My wife is my ideal porn partner both in fantasy and in real life and it has noting to do with latin american men whatever that's all about.

I still think that equating "lust" to adultary is a bit of a stretch. I personally think that there is a huge difference between thinking about something and doing it.

Violent movies let the viewer experience the thrill of the violence vicariously. I think that it is much the same with pornography.

Are erotic novels just as bad? How about Baywatch or other shows with scantily clad actors?

Yeah, Read 'My Life and Loves' by Frank Harris for some really good porn that has literary merit.

Henry Miller should also be on the list of stuff we shouldn't be reading if we're offened and influenced by porn.

I am not familiar with Henry Miller but I may have to check out his writings. I looked him up in wikipedia and he looks interesting.

Once upon a time there were two monks who came to a river and met a young girl. The old monk carried the girl across the river on his back. The young monk later asked the old one why he wasn't afraind to carry the girl who being so close to him would have engendered lustfull feelings.
The old monk replied "I'm not carrying her anymore but your still are".
Anyway that's kind of how the story goes.

Very zen.