Why did i end up like this?

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Like converger dude just said.

Chill the hell out, kid.

I understand my brother i know how you feel. i feel the same way. i am 28 years so i have had a lot of experieicne in life and even i had only one relationship so far. It was a marriage with a woman who was 25 years older than me but the marriage only lasted for six months and got anulled and that was over five years ago and i have been lonely ever since. It really sucks i know trust me i know how you feel. Being an aspie really sucks. a lot of people in my town call me Rain Man to make fun of me

Hypothetical situation!

I've been obsessing over women for years and I got to say it's killing me. I realize now that I can't go on like this and I reckon that I'll probably meet a nice girl when I'm not expecting it. Problem is I'm always expecting it as I don't have much in the way of friends, nor do I have any hobbies to help me get my mind off things.

One thing I do like is wildlife. Now obviously I can't get a lion or an elephant but I've been thinking about getting some fish. I reckon that if I have something to care for at home then I might not have such a grim outlook upon the world. I know fish can be high maintenance, but I have plenty of free time on my hands. Plus I did a course on animal attending while I was doing the HSC. An aquarium may be just what I need.

What do you lot reckon:?:

I think animals can be a good replacement if you can't find a relationship, they can really help to fill that gap in your life when you just need some affection or someone to be around. I think that if I end up alone in my later life because I couldn't find someone right for me (which I can see happening as a possibility) I will probably have a pet cat or rabbit or maybe bird to share affection with.

To the original poster:

Don't let anyone tell you it's not hard. We all know first hand just how hard and soul destroying it is to be at school seemingly surrounded by other kids experiencing their first kiss, their first relationship etc while we are all alone, but as we grow older the rawness fades and we forget.

I don't think there's any way you can really make it better or make the pain go away, all you can really do is try to live through it - vent your feelings through poetry, or art, or music (I did all three, and I have some fantastic poems and songs from that period of my life; when I was your age), and try your best to make things better in every way that you can. As long as you keep trying, and learning, and growing, things WILL improve eventually. It's only when you stop trying, or you close your mind and stop learning, that things never get better.

I went through all my high school life alone, until the end of my very last year of school (which was actually an extra year because I did my last two years over three years instead, so in theory i should have been out of school by this point anyway), which after 8 months of talking 6 hours a night, every night, I finally got the courage up to ask out the guy I liked and he said yes. (I had been rejected before) Relationship didn't last long term, but the mere achievement of even managing to be in a relationship in the first place was a big one for me, and i think for any aspie. (added: This happened when I was 19) I am really proud of how far I have come because I never stopped trying or learning or taking risks and exposing myself to being hurt in order to better myself.

Last edited by sunshower on 02 Jan 2009, 8:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

high school sucks butt. Why would you want to date in HS? You're 16. Assuming you calm down long enough for your blood pressure to stabilize you have 60 years ahead of you. Seriously

1. you are not likely to find healthy meaningful relationships from your age-peers.

2. There are 2 groups of people in high school. Those who hate high school and those who love high school. The people who hate high school now, will still hate high school later... because it sucks. Those who love high school will split into 2 groups upon graduation. Many will discover college and begin to hate high school... because compared to college, high school is like kindergarten. Some of the rest will mentally never leave high school and be like the 50 year old fat men who boast about being the best high school football player, or the middle-aged people who flaunt their SAT scores like its an IQ test, or the old fat woman who thinks because she was popular in high school it will matter in the real world. And there are other people in between who just forget high school and move on.

3. people can sense your anger and hostility and it won't help your chances to find someone either in high school or beyond high school. That sense of desperation and frustration scares people away.

But don't work yourself up because you are tired of your routine and you want to do or have something different and it hasn't happened yet.

Just let go of it. Let go of needing it. Let go of needing it now. Because most people do not have meaningful relationships until after high school. And many do not have any relationships until after high school.

16 is not the end of the world. not having a relationship at 16 is not the end of the world. We have been through it and it is hard and lonely and frustrating and painful and all types of different crap all rolled together. It is hard for us to tell you this because we can see in the past where we were and then where we are now and we know it gets better. But to you, you don't have the benefit of seeing things the way we do. All you see is where you are now and then ahead, into nothingness and uncertainty. I don't blame you for not understanding our positions and I don't blame you for wanting something now because you can't see the future and you don't know what lies ahead.

Just understand that most of the time the things you want in a relationship are really things that you want in a friend. And it is often easier to find friends first, and then look for a relationships.

Why is it such a big priority for you to start dating now? You're only a sophomore, so you probably aren't going to find a meaningful relationship right now anyway. I didn't really start dating until my senior year in high school, and everyone I dated who was still in high school was too immature to have a meaningful relationship anyway. I did long for a relationship long before I actually started dating, but even if someone did ask me out who I actually wanted to date, I know I would have ended up extremely disappointed and frustrated anyway, as high schoolers, for the most part, aren't mature enough to handle a relationship.

Besides, I've noticed that the guys who complain about girls not going for the "nice guys" are the same guys who won't give "nice girls" (you know, kinda shy, unpopular, doesn't dress like a slut, etc) the time of day and only want the stuck up, slu*ty, cheerleader types, and then when they finally do get that girl, end up complaining that all women are "b*****s". (not saying you're like that. I'd imagine aspies aren't usually as bad as NT "nice guys").