Clever girls like clever boys much more than...

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I've went to a nightclub near me at the Hilton Hotel in Iselin, NJ a few times. Every single time I go there I'm to afraid to go up to anyone and try to start a conversation. Even if I see someone looking at me I feel so unprepared, so inadequate that I wind up ignoring them. I'll watch them out of the corner of my eyes but eventually they decide I'm not interested and start looking elsewhere. So I always go home alone with no names, no numbers. And then eventually I get up the nerve to try it again. And then the same result.

At least there is always the chance to meet that "special someone". Which for me means someone who will come up to me and say they want to get to know me.

OK, I'll add that to my list.

1) Breathing
2) Willing

I just think the more selective I become the less likely i am to find anyone but obviously they have to be willing.

I have pretty well established as 'fact', or rather collected significant anecdotal evidence from 'vino veritas' sessions with my female friends that women are considerably more shallow than men. At least in certain respects.

I think the brains/looks issue may be one of those respects.

Yes, yes, women want a man who'll make them laugh (possibly the most common statement in 'dating' ads) but if there isn't the hint of attraction there, it's over before the first giggle.

It does occur to me however that men will 'date' a woman who they're not physically attracted to in order to, well... Have sex. This leaves them open to being 'won over' by personality. That in itself is shallow too I suppose, so I'm talking myself round in circles.

I'm not really sure what 'most' will get you though. I have enough NT guy friends that yes, while they want a girl who looks good, given a choice between a smart girl (especially self-assured, independent, analytical) and a girl of slight build between the ears - both equally attractive, they'd take the girl who has a personality (the intelligent one) in a heartbeat. I think an intelligent NT guy would far more than likely feel just as bored and socially straight-jacketed trying to deal with an entertain a dumb trophy-girlfriend as an aspie guy would. In fact I had a situation with a friend who's very NT and we had a very similar take on this - we don't dislike or look down on dumb girls but, there's no prayer of a connection whatsoever and even better yet - if your intelligent, dumb people literally *can't see you*, 90% of your personality is invisible, off their radar, from that fact they're both incredibly unrefreshing to deal with and you feel like you can hardly say anything at all without striking out (which also makes you wonder if that's even such a bad thing - do you really want them to begin with?).

I have a feeling that intelligence usually won't kill your chances with other intelligent people unless they have some kind of complex about themselves or in the case that its not your intelligence that's unattractive but rather other traits that aren't necessarily related. Sometimes, especially in getting scorn from the dumb of the world (who of course don't mean ill - they likely feel that they're instantly within an inch of embarrassing themselves or being dissed for being dumb, they're just as hunkered down and unnerved as we are), it can be hard to sort out what's really going on - that people don't really necessarily dislike us, just that we don't often enough meet intelligent people who can see the best in us.

Right now I can say this - I am talking to a girl who is very intelligent, very geeky in her interests, and she's probably the most awesome girl I've met in years. I won't say it settled as I think we have some kinks we're still working out on the chemistry level but I really want this to work. Most guys, especially a guy with any self-awareness or wisdom even more than sheer IQ, needs a girl who brings out the best in him, can *see* him rather than chopping his identity down to her own projections or narrow stereotypes; that takes depth and intelligence from the woman - and yes, there are plenty of deep and intelligent guys out there who'll be more than inspired to reciprocate the growth and having that to offer.

To the OP: If what you say is true (that clever girls like clever guys), then it doesn't seem like there are many clever girls around....

I thought about this one.

Someones intelligence is not something I am going to judge them on. I couldn't care less if a women is more or less intelligent than me. Just the compatiblity thing is important.

I prefer intelligent girls/woman. I've never felt intimidated by anyone. I usually have to "tone it down".

That's a shame - it really is.

Although you could also try walking into a Star Trek Convention and see what happens.

""Are all intelligent men uninterested at best and intimidated at worst? Would you prefer (if you had your pick of the crop) to go for the less cerebral, non-bookish, conventionally feminine but slightly dithering every-girl.""

I dont know if i`m intelligent or not, but i do know that i
get attracted to the bookish girls as you call it. I`ve met
the "other type" the ones that imitates barbiedolls, end every
sentence with "you know" and always seems to think that
they are the hot stuff, they are what men like me want. Those
girls could not be less interessing, they do absolutely nothing
for me, it doensn`t help with silicone, makeup and clothes if
you`re dumb as toast and act accordingly. Give me a smart
girl and she could be wearing a potatosack and be covered
with mud for all i care When i was 16 i was with a girl
i liked at first and all my buddies told me "dude, she`s so hot!"
so it sounded like it was allright. But omg how that girl bored
me, she was a classic 16 year old blonde with blonde interests,
a body that wouldn`t stop but that didnt help anything, she
bored my mind out, after a while i just couldn`t take it anymore,
we just had nothing in common.

Are you sure it's not your stunning good looks?

Cute men without brain are boring as hell. In fact, they are tragedies. Like watching a movie about WWII or something. Disasters.

Man can be brilliant. I love brilliant men. I don't care wha they look like.

Could be!

Now, that's an idea! I love Star Trek!

Clever guys like clever girls no less or more that the other way round. This is just your perception. Also they have to be compatible personalities too. People are picky, including yourself. Try not to concern yourself with people you don't emulate.

I like smart women. People who would prefer a partner less intelligent than them, can have some issues going on. My grandfather is one of them. Some people basically need someone that will agree with them 100%.

If you can go in costume, that'd be a nice touch as well.

Hmmm.....maybe I should Google Star Trek Conventions in Oklahoma.....

agreed.
i couldnt stand a girl who wasnt at least equal to me in terms of iq.