SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FLIRTING by GroovyDruid

Post Reply New Topic

Apparently, you're taking this study to heart! Good for you.

I assume you mean how long until you get close to the girl. Do it as quickly as you can without making it seem like that's what you're trying to do. Part of the game, you see. Don't push it, but be expedient.



Yep. And remember, on the phone, the game's still going on....



Guys really don't have to exhibit much flirtation. NT women have a very acute sense of when a guy is attracted to them. Trust me: she'll know almost before you do. First point: you have to send confident signals. Shoulders back, relaxed posture, good eye contact, hips pushed more forward than back, legs always slightly open (this is actually a genitalia display, believe it or not...). Second point: you must avoid sending obvious signals of being entranced by her. If you send entranced signals, she'll lose interest. Don't touch her. Don't bump into her. Don't drool over her in any way, verbal or physical. If in doubt, keep your distance and your hands waaayy back.



Just a little closer than 18 inches, not any closer. You don't want to move in so close that she says to herself, "This guy is panting over me. What a loser." The important thing here is to cut her out. This makes her feel special and selected, and that you are strong and go for what you want.



That's a good question:
For a first romantic kiss, go for a long kiss on the lips and nothing else. Soft, tender, and sensitive. Often, after a few seconds, that will turn into a French kiss, and you can roll with it. Why nothing else? Because this is about making her comfortable. Anything else is too overtly physical. The tender kiss on the lips is a ritual on the first kiss--unless you're back at your place or hers and things are headed in a different direction, but we're not talking about that here....



When I say intimate, I mean that the talk becomes quieter and less of a broadcast. A lot of giggling usually happens. Depending on the girl, the talk sometimes moves toward more intimate details of her life, her past romantic life, her romantic dreams and desires, etc. I DON'T mean that it becomes sexual or crude. That's a big turn-off to be avoided.

Best wishes. Play the game responsibly for your own feelings and hers. I know you'll do just fine.

My local library has none of the recommended books

The trouble, I think, is that you're telling Aspies things about a lifestyle most would never be able to handle. It is very situation dependent. Girls typically in the bar and club scene aren't like that. They are generally very closed and tend to stick together in their own groups. I would suppose its for the obvious reasons of security against stalkers and other unwanted predators. They will often be the ones to make the first move. If they don't, you've got buckley's and none of making something happen. You would be better off giving Aspies a guide to one-on-one encounters in a nice pleasant surrounding, or a guide for everyday encounters with women that they will see regularly. You've nailed down very well the theoretical ideas behind the bar scene, but I would go a different way for Aspies: Go with a group of friends, be egocentric and dance, or chat with your friends. They will be more likely to join you if you're with a group, than if you're alone. You'll look socially active, and less of a risk to her. Keep using the body language Groovydruid has detailed, though don't be too aggressive in using it. If you have glasses, get some contact lenses.

Agreed @ danlo. I would love a guide relating to normal activities rather than bars/clubs, since I will probably never voluntarily go into one in my entire life.

(yes that one is adaptible to any situation to an extent, but not perfectly)

I met a girlfriend once simply because she liked the way I looked in glasses. I was wearing fake glasses since I don't really need them. Props can be useful at times.

Any school scenarios? It's not like I go to parties and barhop all the time.

That's a good question:
For a first romantic kiss, go for a long kiss on the lips and nothing else. Soft, tender, and sensitive. Often, after a few seconds, that will turn into a French kiss, and you can roll with it. Why nothing else? Because this is about making her comfortable. Anything else is too overtly physical.[/quote]

Now you did say to take her by the arm. So, assuming we are standing side by side, how does the ritual really work? Do I turn 45 degrees towards her, then take both arms and gently pull her to me? Or is it something different than that? I'd like a step-by-step guide on this part, since it is so important to not screw up! Once I have her close do I let go of the arms and her completely, do I keep on the arms for the kiss, or do I put my arms around her waist for the kiss?

I am looking forward to this...WOW!

Now you did say to take her by the arm. So, assuming we are standing side by side, how does the ritual really work? Do I turn 45 degrees towards her, then take both arms and gently pull her to me? Or is it something different than that? I'd like a step-by-step guide on this part, since it is so important to not screw up! Once I have her close do I let go of the arms and her completely, do I keep on the arms for the kiss, or do I put my arms around her waist for the kiss?

I am looking forward to this...WOW!

You know what I'm sick and tired of?

No one quoates me as much as they should. I have some great and mighty things to say, and I thank... the two... people who have managed to quote me so far in these forums. Crap man. I offered the strongest advice: TAKE CHANCES. MAKE EYE-CONTACT. It's not hard after you get practice. There is no special code to go by. It is a mixture of the TWO I stated.

Have I quoted you? Because I really should be quoting you. Then again, I don't disagree with you and I don't have any questions about it.

Why would Lily Tomlin have anything to do with that?

But my advice is golden. All should appreciate that I have taken time to come on this thread and share my wisdom. If you all opened your hearts, you would see just how wise I am.

Alright mister wisdom(s), where's my school scenario?

You know, I'm going to indulge you and quote you. People, this is a great example of cockiness gone too far. A certain amount of egocentricity and cockiness is good, when you can use it with humor and take the micky out of yourself. Like knowing that you're not always right, saying it with a straight face but making your voice drip with sarcasm, and then following it up with a slight smile. When you go over the top like this, it's a really really big turnoff, and noone likes you. Watch it, and keep it in check.

Overconfidence is just as bad as no confidence. Very unattractive! A happy medium must be struck.

The scenario I used was a party, not a bar or club. Parties are a good place to meet women. Clubs are the WORST place in the world (I'll explain why later, if anyone is interested). Bars are better, but I rarely go there. The clientelle aren't usually that hot, literally or figuratively.

Really, you have to read this article and glean the modus operadi in it. There is an awareness that I'm trying to detail so that aspies can have more success, whether they meet women in book stores, anime clubs, bars, grocery stores, etc. The SYSTEM is the same. You use the same moves, same principles. It has nothing specific to the "BAR" scene in it, except that I mentioned there happened to be a bar there.