aspie males too shy/weak to be partner material

Post Reply New Topic

Nope, I'm the eldest. Lol, I should have expected this coming onto the 'love and dating forum'!

Good point.

How stupid of me, thinking for even one moment that there might be some glimmer of "hope." Every time I come here, it just gets reaffirmed that there isn't any chance of me ever finding love, because I'll never be "partner material." So I guess it's back to shooting at Nazis in video games for me...

You sound less like a child and more like a 900-year-old Jedi Master...

Lol! That's not exactly a compliment either! Good point, though!

I feel like that regarding things that I don't care about or many gray areas in life.

I'm an introvert and I tend not to go for extraverts or alpha male type boys I go for the more introverted, thoughtful boys as they have an air of mystery to them where as the extraverts are too in your face for my liking.

There's hope! Plus, what's wrong with shooting nazis? I like COD WAW - only the nazi zombie mode though. Fallout 3 is my fave at the mo, though!

Yeah, I love the COD games, especially WAW. Shooting Nazis is fun... that's why I'm really looking forward to the next Wolfenstein game... looks like you get to disintegrate them now.

Age not need be a bad thing, especially for Jedi masters:

my sheer size is intimidating enough...

I find the exact opposite actually. Our relationship is the other way around. I (nt) am the needy one whilst he (Aspie) just goes about his business and doesn't see that I need him until I wave my hands around and say "Helloooo, Something other than the computer or the phone needs you!!".

My Aspie guy comes across as really really cool and not interested but that doesn't mean he isn't, he just doesn't know how to show me that he is.

As to the second half of the quote: "Most women hate that" - I don't hate people who have needs or resent them for it, but I do require the person I am with to have a backbone and not let me walk all over them. There is a difference between having needs (we all have them) and being pathetic. There is also a difference between children and grown-ups. We try to cultivate the children inside us whilst simultaneously communicating like adults.

hey all i'm Undx'd AS but i really think i am..
i'm very shy in lots of situations, but i can play music anytime, in front of anyone, granted i'll get a little nervous but i Can..
i think therefore that i could potentially deal with all "shyness" issues if need be.. & especially if i had a partner i cared about..
i have a loose & rough theory that Aspies are here to change the world, so we have to get out there & be heard so to speak.

I think that as aspies, a lot of our problems are with the preocupation with trying not to break social rules.

We're so used to people getting offended by our behaviors, which has a side effect that we consciously try to avoid offending others. This gets taken to a point were we demonstrate a lot of 'pushover' behavior that is particularly detrimental in finding relationships.

Combine this with still unintentionally having behavior that offends other people, and yeah, we've got problems.


I also don't think that shyness is due to aspergers, at least directly. I wasn't shy at all as a young kid. I was different, sure, but not shy. The shyness was learned behavior after being 'punished' for my behaviors in social situations, which caused me to withdraw, hence becoming shy.

Hmm, that's an insightful comment, gsilver. Never thought about it like that.

good post gsilver, I agree with it. An apsie friend told me the same theory that we learn shyness, I never considerd it before.

Shy and weak don't necessarily go hand in hand. Some of the most forthcoming people I've know have been low on self-esteem, emotionally unstable and vulnerable.