Is it true that Seduction stuff doesn't work with aspies?

Post Reply New Topic

x2

I find 'seduction techniques' a bit manipulative rather than seductive. If I pick up that someone is using them, I refuse to talk to the person.
I don't mind people learning social skills fo more confidence, but those things are just games and can lead to social power being abused.

The problem with 'seduction techniques', and indeed most dating 'self-help' books is that they depend on NT intuition for you to 'get it' and make good use of the material. We tend to completely lack the necessary intuition in the first place, and those books depend on that intuition to build on what you already have. If you don't have some sort of foundation, it's going to be sorely lacking.

(Admittedly, you can create a foundation through other methods, but it's usually very difficult, and may still lack key pieces used in those books.)

I agree. They are really best utilized (and were originally intended for) NT's who are already good at picking up women, to become disgustingly good at picking up women. The whole nerds reading the books and becoming players thing is more of a fantasy that the marketing feeds on. If they didn't do that, how would they make the big money off the books?

If you have AS... I still think the best method is to just get a circle of friends with something big in common, and eventually you will meet some girl through those contacts who wants you and makes it extremely obvious. This way, 80% of the work is already done for you, and now you are guaranteed at least 1 date or maybe a one night stand.

I'm very succeptible to seduction. I even have something of a fetish for being seduced. BUT I can have self control. I won't give in if I am absolutely sure that I should not (ex: if it meant cheating on my partner). And though my thoughts might be clouded a bit, I still won't have unprotected random sex, seduction or no seduction--STD's are too scary. I never get too horny to think, lol.

heeeelll ya!! ! if a girl tried to seduce me... i wouldnt be able to resist her touch

Okay... well I'll seperate this out into two layers.. hitting on me and seducing me...

I don't care who you are, guy or gal, unless someone tell me, they tell me or there is a sign telling me that they are hitting on me I am completely clueless.

Seduction is where I get into trouble. I can't do it worth crap, but once the other person starts putting hands in places were they would normaly only go if they want to seduce you, i have a very hard time saying no. But that being said, unless they have told me what they want or they have their hands all over me, I have no clue.

you can tell by the look in thier eye

I was listening to a recording of some guys who do "seduction coaching" for a while on my commute to and from work. They managed to come off as decent people, not as manipulative douchbags, and I'd say it did make some valid observations about human behavior, even if the evidence for them is always anecdotal, but I did feel that it made assumptions about the listener that aren't valid for aspies, at least not those aspies who are like myself. It assumes that you are more or less an average, frustrated guy trying to become a more attractive individual to women, not someone with a developmental disorder that causes them to have trouble with basic social interactions, who has to try to compensate for this lack on a daily basis.
I'm sure someone could write a book about seduction for aspies, but we don't have one yet. Maybe I'll be the first to do that...

****SPOILER ALERT****
lol no I won't

However, I'm glad to see that some aspie women appear to have a relationship style that I can relate to; I have to be able to establish some basic trust with the other person first, which takes considerably longer for me than I believe it does for the average NT, and things have to be made much more explicit for me. The fact that some of you seem to describe yourself as feeling the same gives me some hope that in the right circumstances, I may still be able to find someone.

No one ever talks to me, therefore I never have this problem.

I'm seeing a lot of women here saying "seduction wouldn't work on me because I wouldn't realize the guy was trying to seduce me." Ladies, you would NEVER realize a player was seducing you--that's kind of the point. You would be thinking, "wow, this guy is funny, exciting, and there's just SOMETHING ABOUT HIM--I don't know what exactly--that makes me want to get to know him better." The word "seduction" or the phrase "he's hitting on me" would NEVER enter your mind (if he was doing it correctly). As far as "whether seduction stuff works" for aspies, the answer is : some of it will, some of it won't. There are literally hundreds of systems available, some of which focus on the creepy (I think) "cold" pickup, which is when a guy dresses like a flaming idiot and runs lines and routines on women to get them into bed (this only works with drunk and/or promiscuous women--but it DOES work with them!). These guys spend years memorizing material directly out of other peoples' books, and is showcased on the VH1 show "the Pickup Artist." THESE are the ones who can and do turn into "social robots" who eventually lose the ability to make real friends, male or female.

As a member of the Community, I can tell you that there ARE systems and guidebooks out there that have much more to do with cultivating attractive qualities in yourself to maximize your chances which absolutely can help men with AS. There are books for shy, kind people that do not require you to buy the clothes of a poor rockstar /drag queen, do not require you to memorize lines, and can teach you how to feel better about who you really are and display your positive qualities--nothing like the false confidence that comes from picking up women with a bunch of memorized scripts. I've read / experimented with a lot of stuff, and for those guys who want to increase their chances without turning into woman-destroying creeps like Mystery's followers, I would recommend the following books above all else:

Double your Dating, by David DeAngelo
Juggler Method, by Juggler (Wayne Elise)
Without Fear: The Social Coward's Totally Fearless Guide to Seduction, by Mike Pilinski.

The last one in particular, Without Fear, is PERFECT for men who do not wish to go out and sleep with random whores every weekend, but are simply looking to develop the qualities which make him a High Status Male--thereby making him attractive to women. It's more about kindness and gentleness than "not taking s**t from people," trying to look like a badass, or any of that other phony stuff. Best of all, there is no need for clubs or bars to utilize Mike P's teachings--it's simply about how to recognize what women do when they're interested, how to respond in order to show you're interested back, and take it from there. Cold Pickup and Mystery Method are about pretending you don't like a women in order to keep her "hooked." It's great for drunken women with daddy issues and no self-esteem. Without Fear and Double Your Dating are more about relationships with high self-esteem, intelligent, and self-aware females...you know, the kind you actually want in your life in the first place!

are you sure stud;) you look like a rockstar

You do realise im wearing a wig in my avatar right?

Infact despite dressing very 'rock and roll' (ie, jeans, leather jacket, band t-shirt etc) actually.......no.

ohhh no i didnt realize.. and if they dont talk to you then forget them...you seem like a fun person to be around...they just jealous..im actually dying my hair black today... so i thought the hair was cool.. maybe i will dress in pantys and brass.. heeeey cutie...lol thier you go now you cant say never..

Hehe thanks I appreciate the compliment.

puts on womens pantys and bra "no problem!!" hey now you cant say never haha

It doesn't matter what you do. Just being yourself is seductive enough to the right person.