Red Flags

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- mixes humor in with abusive behavior in an attempt to minimize it and make it seem less bad. It can be a way of gaslighting.

I haven't experienced this but this seems fairly common with straight couples. They criticize each other because of their gender. I don't conform to the male stereotype & I criticize men a lot sometimes & I sometimes criticize women a bit but I don't put my partner down for being a woman. I joke about myself a lot sometimes & her making lighthearted jokes about me is fine but it's another thing for her to be critical & mean. Using my gender as an excuse to put me down like blaming me for being a man because I unintentionally said something she thought was rude, I forget an important date or anniversary, or because I laughed at a sex joke would get tiring fast. I tend to be easy going but if I get put down too much I'll reach my limit & then I'll fight back. If I were to get critized for being a man a lot, I would start criticizing her for being a woman.

-If someone doesn't respect the fact that you have a dating partner or a spouse and keeps pursuing anyway.

-If someone who you don't know drives up and uses a pickup line, "Are you okay."

-If that same person throws a tantrum when you set boundaries

- spins lies about you but covers it by saying they didn't use your name

- Sniffs gasoline to make his transphobia stronger

- stubborn about their gender (I'm referring to cis people, of course)

^

I've seen that, cis people so insecure that people might think they are a different gender yet are blatantly transphobic regarding gender identity, clearly people like this are mentally disturbed, have learning difficulties or just plain old fruit loops. It's bit like like men who are blatantly homophobic because they are insecure of their sexuality (and secretly like c*ck) - talk to a guy next to you at a urinal - gay, wear pink - gay, wear an alice band - gay, ditch your mates as you have a girlfriend - so gay, have a daughter - gay - you get the picture.

I get the picture big time. ^ I know some women who are so freaked out about possibly being considered male, it becomes a preoccupation. At the same time they think trans people are the ones hung up on gender. There should be psychiatric case studies on whackadoodles like that.

- not being willing to go out of their comfort zone or sacrifice personal comfort in a small way when the other person would and has done the same for them

Begins talking about marriage & children when you have just met them.

Often contradicts themselves. Ie, she often talks about how she hates feeling pressured to do things & talks about how pressure causes her to shut down. Then other times she talks about how she's very forgetfull & needs to be reminded a lot. She gets annoyed & shuts down when I remind her but she also gets upset if I don't remind her. This is just one example of being contradictory. I find contradictions very confusing & frustrating I really wish others would pick a lane & stay in it

- having a different favorite Beatle. I don't see how such a relationship could ever work

If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times it’s George.

It's John!

I don't know Isabella... I'm not sure if we can be friends anymore.

Gaslighting with agressive humor is really the worst I think (I had a school bullying problem so I really struggle with humor because I don't always understand it and I'm not always aware that I'm being humiliated).

I am reading this topic little by little and I am learning a lot of things. I realize that I have already used red flags without meaning to.

I have a question that is nagging at me. What is "love bombing"? I think I've never experienced this and it's a behavior that I would like to understand. How do we tell the difference between a friendly person and this "love bombing"?