Living with parents kind of puts the kibosh on dating?

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No, no, no. Not AnneOleson's son. I'm referring to the man in the Parable of the Mental Health Case Worker (page 20 of this discussion), the bipolar man who should not have been living with his mother as it was damaging to them both. He was 40-something a couple of decades ago and I've had no contact with him since.

As for my daughter and whether she's a parasite... she has autism, post-concussive syndrome, panic disorder, and major depression. She has been through Vocational Rehab three times, failing each time to complete a placement. Prior to that she did hold jobs for anywhere from a few days to a few months. It is pretty obvious she cannot work. It is exceedingly mean-spirited of anyone here to suggest she is leeching off her boyfriend who is held to a higher standard. He's held to a higher standard because he has succeeded at completing college and remaining employed (in a call center, ok?) for several years consecutively.

Frankly, the lack of logic and self-pitying squawking in this discussion (which does not include all males in this discussion) would be a bigger turnoff to me than their income or who they live with. You can't expect any woman to love you if you are convinced you are the victim of the women of the world. I'm not naming any particular person; you know who you are.

Because you mentioned her.

Which 40yo man?

FTR I would never touch a 40yo man.. Two 20yo’s OTOH..

Except reality is that sly is correct. It’s survival of the fittest. Always has been, always will be. May as well role with it and get fit, IMO.

Ding ding ding. Quoted for truth. Sly nailed it.

Whatever. I know I'm not a loser per se. I'm probably part of the reason your post ever got here to call me one.

All true.

Women want equality until its time to pay the bills, then they expect to be looked after. Even if they were expected to pay a 35% share (70% of half, seeing as women are paid 70% of what men are, on average, for the same jobs) most wouldn’t want to & expect gender roles to carry on.

Not all women, though. I know some who split bills evenly with their partners. But many, and for some reason people like Bea think it’s okay to rip on young men for not making enough money, but doesn’t expect jack s**t from her daughter. She just wanted her out of her house, even if it meant offloading the expense onto taxpayers. Somehow that’s a-okay but young males are magically expected to be able to earn enough to stay afloat in today’s economy AND support someone like her daughter. Ridiculous.

I'm no MRA but that's really only because I'm a humanist. Living according to my address & how much money I make would just kill me; I may be a bleeding edge technologist but that in no way prevents me from living a simple, relaxed life. It's also no guarantee of any income whatsoever. Do I need to depend on anyone? No. I could fix gadgets & flip them for overpriced rent indefinitely. Would my dad's house fall to pieces without me working on it? Absolutely. Ideally I'll just sublet it with a bunch of friends while we renovate to keep the resale value high. I'd rather have some fun that spend all my waking hours keeping up with the Joneses.

I have the tech skills to survive but as long as actually living is an option I'll stick with that.

This is why many heterosexual people are now accepting that traditional marie and monogamy are failed experiments in human behaviour & rather than divorce are changing things up to being monogamish in some sort of open relationship much like many couples in the gay community.

I unfortunately am just a average aspie, no special skills or talents for me. So unlike other aspies I’m worse off. I envy those with special talents that offset our disorder and give them usefulness in a materialistic world

I think you need a reminder that you are posting on an autism support forum and that ASD and other disabilities can in fact impair males beyond the ability to work and support themselves financially, too.

Further to that, those of us who can work are often unemployed or underemployed and don’t earn a lot of money. I’m currently working ~55-60h a week just to tread water and break even at the end of the month until my wage increases. Sure, 6 months from now I should have a couple of small raises under my belt and a different, more lucrative, second job.. but the fact remains that I am a hard working physically fit & capable young man with a business school education and there is next to no way I can truly afford to live on my own w/o some major concessions - like either having several roommates or giving up my car and drivers licence. (Which are necessary to get to and from work as transit takes 2h to get to work and 3-4h to get home & can include a 4km or 7km walk if it’s passed 8pm.)

Basically, you’re being pretty rude to sly* specifically, but also pretty much everyone else here, too.

*Granted, sly has never expressed an interest in working more or full time. He’s made posts like “Why would a guy want tools as a gift? So he can do work - no thanks!” That sort of thing. Whereas for myself, when my symptoms were strong and I could Not work, I Wanted to work, to pull my own weight, to make my father proud that he’s raised his son with a solid work ethic, and I was, in part, motivated to overcome my symptoms And get fit so that I Could work - and I’ve been busting it for the last 5 years and have no intentions of ever stopping. Sly doesn’t have that same drive, and that’s part of what constrains him from working and earning more.. but he’s still impaired by ASD and other disabilities much like your daughter, so sh*****g all over him for it because he has a penis between his legs is seriously bad form.

Last edited by goldfish21 on 25 Jul 2018, 8:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sly, there are light duty jobs you could manage to do full time that don’t require special skills or talents if you wanted to.

I’ve done MANY of these types of jobs. I’ve been doing some of them this week & actually thought of you. I mean, how hard is it to walk around holding a beeping stick and checking the lcd screen for elevation and then spray painting numbers on the ground? Hardest part is staying awake in the heat after only a few hours sleep! Lol Then there’s general construction site cleanup, hardly ever lift anything over 40lbs and there’s nothing gross or rotten - just scraps of wood and sawdust and off-cuts of pvc pipe etc to toss in a dumpster.

There are MANY other jobs out there that require minimal skills, expertise, training, or interaction with people. You just have to have the will to do one of them.

Maybe going on these few dates will give you a “Why,” a reason to push yourself to work more, simply so you can either afford to treat this lady to nights out, or bank the coin to date others in the future, or even just to hold your head a little higher and think, “f**k yeah I’m working full time, I got this!”

Can we not disparage Bea's daughter? She isn't here to defend herself.

Bea, your daughter doesn't need a bunch of strangers talking about her...

You are making choices based on what you feel is best. I can't question it. I'm not in your shoes.

I support your decisions as an acquaintance of yours here.

Be kind to yourself.

Want and can is different things, I can’t handle full time work doesn’t mean I don’t want it or wanted it. I certainly wish I could work a 9-5 office job making middle class income, buy a new bmw and drive it home to my 4 bedroom house every night. But I wasn’t born right and can’t handle full time work.
I don’t have competitive drive which is what makes people ambitious so they can be better then others and mock them for it

Last edited by sly279 on 25 Jul 2018, 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bea is the one speaking ill of others abilities or efforts while also telling us her own child is Not financially independent & thus we are pointing out her hypocrisy. We are not ripping on her daughter, only on Bea’s hypocrisy.

One shouldn't talk bad about someone else's kids.

That's just a basic law of humanity.

She should rip others apart while her daughter is the same way as them.

It’s like someone ranting about how people driving sedans are killing the environment all why they drive a hummer.
So your ok with her sexist hypocrisy?