"You need to work on yourself!"

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aw coming from you i'm expecting some sarcasm somewhere ahah

thank you tbh a lot of your posts have inspired me, you also have my admiration (as many others on here).

Just being honest, but some people don't like that.

I think instead of Asian people should say Chinese, Japanese , Korean etc.
Many Asians in America are only Asian in looks, they’ve grew up in western culture and adopted western ideas. They wouldn’t fit in much better in Asia then a white person, they’d probably blend in until they spoke.
There’s some actual Asians from Asian countries here but most are descendants of immigrants.
I find Asian women beautiful I’d love to date one if we matched up.

Obviously you're looking for female connections then and as such I would guess that that motivates you to engage in conversation on this site with women more than men (nothing wrong with that). Despite most of the posts in love and dating being made by men, you only tend to be supportive towards the female members.

This is just a guess but Marknis might find it easier to say supportive things to female posters because of his weird

'men should be men' upbringing.

I don't think you're too late to do what you want to do. People achieve things at different ages and that's fine. Start with small things, succeed and then the success will give you the strength and want to go on to succeed something else.

30 is never too late, I know people in their 50s who have made milestones when they thought it was never going to happen. So long as you have air in your lungs you can do whatever you like.

*positive thinking*.

^I agree about starting with small things and then using the positive energy success gives you to push you forward.

You must have an effective plan/strategy to go get what you want in life. Do whatever it takes to get what you want. Do not let any obstacles/barriers stand in your way just kick them down. It is people that give up easily that fail at life. Go getter mentality will help you in life to achieve your dreams. Random strangers opinions do not matter, only your opinion matters to you.

For me perseverance only works on the things I really believe in. I've never been able to transfer it to the things I

think I should do but don't feel passionate about. I try for a bit and then give up, often because it's taken me away

from what I feel strongly about. If I don't want it enough to feel nuts (obsessive) over it it goes nowhere

This just make sense. I like the term “values.” It’s like if you found something you want that you’d do whatever it took to get enough money to pay for it.

If you think you should do something but you aren’t passionate about it, that’s like saying there’s something you want but the price is out of your reach and not worth working for. In other words, you don’t really believe it’s worth the cost.

That raises two questions: Is it REALLY worth it? And WHY do you feel it’s something you should do? Because chances are the reason you feel the way you do is because your belief that you should do or have something is rooted in something other than logic.

I don’t believe, for instance, that Marknis’s belief that having a gf directly leads to his personal happiness and fulfillment is based on any rational conclusion. It’s apparent from his posts that his evaluation of himself is dependent on how well others (who he sees as low-value people) can obtain things that increase their value relative to his own. The error is in thinking that a partner somehow magically increases one’s own personal value. Marknis has a problem with low self-esteem and sees a partner as a means of increasing his “real estate value.” He doesn’t ACTUALLY value other people that way, so pursuing the very IDEA that all he needs is romantic reciprocation is self-destructive since it means having something he doesn’t value enough that he’s willing to work for or offer anything of value in exchange for.

I’ve posted about this many times before, so I’m not going to repeat myself here. To summarize: Mark’s not the bad guy. Mark didn’t make the bullies, rednecks, and girls treat him the way they did. Mark didn’t cause them to act in such a way that led to his self-esteem problems. Mark didn’t cause the problem that his mother forces him to live at home. None of that is Mark’s fault. The main problem is Mark, whether he was taught it or conditioned into it, does not love himself. As a result, he cannot love anyone else. If Mark can assign himself high value and act on that value, his perception of other people will, by necessity, change.

Pay close attention to this: It doesn’t mean he’s going to get a girlfriend. It means that he will stop evaluating himself by what other people have that he doesn’t. In other words, he won’t feel the NEED to have a gf. If he manages to eventually get a gf, however, he’ll give HER value, not the other way around. He won’t be concerned about evaluating himself in terms of his relational status and what others think about him. If he does get into a relationship, it’s more likely to succeed for a longer term.

I do not need to do anything with my life! I can not stand useless advice like: "You need to work on yourself" or "Just be Yourself" and the countless nonsense advice that changes nothing like: Man Up, Toughen up Princess, Get over it or Grow Up!

This is certainly true if your life is in order and/or you are happy with the way your life has become.

I find advice on self-improvement rude, obviously, but usually well meant and honest. the 'be yourself' comment however is never meant.

A lot of advice can seem rude, especially to someone who is only seeking agreement and affirmation. But to those who are sincerely seeking advice for self-improvement, even “Get up, grow up, go out and get a job” can be welcome (if not entirely helpful).

When I ask for advice, I fully expect to be told first what I have been doing wrong. Sure, it “hurts”, but with greater maturity has come greater tolerance for that kind of “pain”. Pain is inevitable, while misery is a choice.

That’s why “grow up” is a vital part of any effort of self-improvement.

Sorry, I wasn't clear, I meant it's rude when people give you advice on self-improvement when you haven't asked

for advice on self-improvement.

Maybe if you just improved yourself you wouldn't feel insulted by advice to improve yourself. Didn't consider that one, did you?



This concept of improvement always implies that everyone with relationships only got into them because they'd finished their "improving" and hence are inherently of more value than everyone else. Frankly it is rude. It's extra insulting when the advice is something stupid like "lift weights", as though that's the magical missing ingredient.