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Wolfheart
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21 Jun 2012, 12:43 pm

MXH wrote:
You do understand no matter how much better written the first one is both scenarios end with the same conclusion, no? But the guy in the latter is being realistic on why it happened and not just waiting for something to


The person with the positive mindset is more likely to take into account those faults and come back with a vengeance, they will be more able to persist because their self esteem and confidence will allow it whereas the negative person will end up with unhealthy self talk and feeling less confident to take on new challenges or opportunities. In a way, a negative outlook is like taking one step forward and two steps backwards.

A negative person is more likely to wait for it to happen because they won't take on new challenges as their self esteem won't allow it.



1000Knives
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21 Jun 2012, 12:44 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
Of course, I'm not saying everything is dependent on positivity and confidence, raw talent and technique play a key role. Someone might believe they are the best snooker player in the world and be positive about it but without the ability and raw talent, they aren't going to be a world champion. That doesn't mean they won't be able to play a half decent or good game through trial and error though.


Woah, snooker! I had a Pakistani friend who was really good at snooker, he played it a ton in Pakistan and got to some local tournaments and stuff. He was pissed that the only tables near here were in NYC, which is like a 3 hour drive.

Anyway, back to talking about posting pictures of your abs on OKC.



MXH
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21 Jun 2012, 12:45 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
MXH wrote:
You do understand no matter how much better written the first one is both scenarios end with the same conclusion, no? But the guy in the latter is being realistic on why it happened and not just waiting for something to


The person with the positive mindset is more likely to take into account those faults and come back with a vengeance, they will be more able to persist because their self esteem and confidence will allow it whereas the negative person will end up with unhealthy self talk and feeling less confident to take on new challenges or opportunities. In a way, a negative outlook is like taking one step forward and two steps backwards.

A negative person is more likely to wait for it to happen because they won't take on new challenges as their self esteem won't allow it.

Again, I disagree. But ill let you live in mamby pamby land



Kinme
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21 Jun 2012, 12:55 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
bizboy1 wrote:
Kinme wrote:
bizboy1 wrote:
This is on my profile. I guess I'm not dating material:
Quote:
As for my hobbies, I like math. It's been an obsession of mine for the last 4 years. I particularly enjoy proving things and understanding difficult, abstract concepts.


If you wanted to attract brainless, fling-type chicks, you're doing it wrong.


I want any type. My only requirement is that there is physical attraction. I can't stand brainless people but I think I rather have a brainless person than someone I'm not attracted to. For instance there is this girl at school that likes me but there is no physical attraction whatsoever. Thus I can't be with her. I love her personality and intelligence and wish to remain good friends with her. My ideal woman would be average or above average looking with average or above average intelligence. But I don't think I'll ever end up with a woman. I'm too autistic lol. fml. That's why I'm hoping I can make lots of money because hopefully women will just gravitate towards me lol.


So, if I'm reading you right. You'd be content with someone completely devoid of thought/personality that you find engaging as long as they were pretty? Why not just stick a maxim cover on a cantelope after you cut a hole in it and put it in the microwave? (I kid)
I know it's not your first choice but damn...I can't picture myself putting up with someone I don't like talking to just for access to genitals on a pretty body (even in the midst of seemingly unending dryspells, that hasn't sounded appealing.)
I'd rather spend the energy I'd use tolerating them on making money for some nice toys.
that's kind've a tangent whoopsie, anyway I'm not trying to say you're wrong or anything, just musing


LOL!! ! Hahahaha. That made my entire day.



Wolfheart
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21 Jun 2012, 1:03 pm

MXH wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
MXH wrote:
You do understand no matter how much better written the first one is both scenarios end with the same conclusion, no? But the guy in the latter is being realistic on why it happened and not just waiting for something to


The person with the positive mindset is more likely to take into account those faults and come back with a vengeance, they will be more able to persist because their self esteem and confidence will allow it whereas the negative person will end up with unhealthy self talk and feeling less confident to take on new challenges or opportunities. In a way, a negative outlook is like taking one step forward and two steps backwards.

A negative person is more likely to wait for it to happen because they won't take on new challenges as their self esteem won't allow it.

Again, I disagree. But ill let you live in mamby pamby land



I think you're getting it confused, there's a balance between being delusional and being a realist, it's about being able to find that balance. No one has stated that positivity is about taking a back seat and allowing circumstances to steer their course.

I think you are confusing positivity with delusional optimism, being positive doesn't mean you ignore or disqualify the negative, it means you accept a situation for what it is and weigh the positive and negatives in a realistic way that isn't exaggerated or distorted but still has enough conviction to make an impact.



bizboy1
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21 Jun 2012, 1:05 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
bizboy1 wrote:
Kinme wrote:
bizboy1 wrote:
This is on my profile. I guess I'm not dating material:
Quote:
As for my hobbies, I like math. It's been an obsession of mine for the last 4 years. I particularly enjoy proving things and understanding difficult, abstract concepts.


If you wanted to attract brainless, fling-type chicks, you're doing it wrong.


I want any type. My only requirement is that there is physical attraction. I can't stand brainless people but I think I rather have a brainless person than someone I'm not attracted to. For instance there is this girl at school that likes me but there is no physical attraction whatsoever. Thus I can't be with her. I love her personality and intelligence and wish to remain good friends with her. My ideal woman would be average or above average looking with average or above average intelligence. But I don't think I'll ever end up with a woman. I'm too autistic lol. fml. That's why I'm hoping I can make lots of money because hopefully women will just gravitate towards me lol.


So, if I'm reading you right. You'd be content with someone completely devoid of thought/personality that you find engaging as long as they were pretty? Why not just stick a maxim cover on a cantelope after you cut a hole in it and put it in the microwave? (I kid)
I know it's not your first choice but damn...I can't picture myself putting up with someone I don't like talking to just for access to genitals on a pretty body (even in the midst of seemingly unending dryspells, that hasn't sounded appealing.)
I'd rather spend the energy I'd use tolerating them on making money for some nice toys.
that's kind've a tangent whoopsie, anyway I'm not trying to say you're wrong or anything, just musing


Yep. Whatever.



MXH
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21 Jun 2012, 1:19 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
MXH wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
MXH wrote:
You do understand no matter how much better written the first one is both scenarios end with the same conclusion, no? But the guy in the latter is being realistic on why it happened and not just waiting for something to


The person with the positive mindset is more likely to take into account those faults and come back with a vengeance, they will be more able to persist because their self esteem and confidence will allow it whereas the negative person will end up with unhealthy self talk and feeling less confident to take on new challenges or opportunities. In a way, a negative outlook is like taking one step forward and two steps backwards.

A negative person is more likely to wait for it to happen because they won't take on new challenges as their self esteem won't allow it.

Again, I disagree. But ill let you live in mamby pamby land



I think you're getting it confused, there's a balance between being delusional and being a realist, it's about being able to find that balance. No one has stated that positivity is about taking a back seat and allowing circumstances to steer their course.

I think you are confusing positivity with delusional optimism, being positive doesn't mean you ignore or disqualify the negative, it means you accept a situation for what it is and weigh the positive and negatives in a realistic way that isn't exaggerated or distorted but still has enough conviction to make an impact.


if im confusing anything its on how you present it. What youve described is delusional optimism and im not theonly one to notice



MXH
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21 Jun 2012, 1:21 pm

and the tally is up to 3 girls having messaged me in24 hours of making the account



Kinme
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21 Jun 2012, 1:29 pm

MXH wrote:
and the tally is up to 3 girls having messaged me in24 hours of making the account


We should make this into a competition. Now I wanna play.



rabbittss
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21 Jun 2012, 1:30 pm

I don't understand the people on this forum. Half of them must wander around all day like they've been trepanned, open faced, just waiting for some glorious happenstance to occur.. the rest of us live in the real world and don't waste time or energy on useless pursuits.



Wolfheart
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21 Jun 2012, 1:33 pm

MXH wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
I think you're getting it confused, there's a balance between being delusional and being a realist, it's about being able to find that balance. No one has stated that positivity is about taking a back seat and allowing circumstances to steer their course.

I think you are confusing positivity with delusional optimism, being positive doesn't mean you ignore or disqualify the negative, it means you accept a situation for what it is and weigh the positive and negatives in a realistic way that isn't exaggerated or distorted but still has enough conviction to make an impact.


if im confusing anything its on how you present it. What youve described is delusional optimism and im not theonly one to notice


The examples that I have described aren't delusional optimism in any way and they are actually samples of Cognitive behavioural therapy and self talk.

Let's say, you get dumped by a girl and you dwell on that rejection, you let it have a negative effect on your self esteem, do you think she's still thinking about you? Of course not, you are allowing yourself to feel anger, bitterness and feelings of negativity based on someone who probably doesn't think about you so in a way, it is a double edged sword. Being positive means being able to assess the negative, being able to discern it so you can get rid of obstacles, make the correct choices and focus on goals that will lead to a result instead of wasting time.



Kinme
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21 Jun 2012, 1:35 pm

rabbittss wrote:
I don't understand the people on this forum. Half of them must wander around all day like they've been trepanned, open faced, just waiting for some glorious happenstance to occur.. the rest of us live in the real world and don't waste time or energy on useless pursuits.


From I have read thus far, the huge majority is negative and unhappy people posting about situations they can't change. I BARELY see people posting about how wonderful their relationships are going, or how successful they are in the dating field. It isn't useless, really. How else are they going to find love if they aren't receptive to it?



rabbittss
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21 Jun 2012, 1:41 pm

I'm receptive to the idea of it.. I just don't see any point in actually expending effort to get it.. Not when every single other attempt at doing anything involving another human being in my entire life has lead to abject failure.


But of course the same group of people will be on here in a flash to tell me that if I'd just change my attitude (even when I have been given no valid reason or evidence to suggest that if I change my attitude anything in my life will change) because it's all my fault!

Maybe what i need to do is find a concrete block wall and run full speed, head first into it. Then maybe I can be positive like I'm supposed to be.



bizboy1
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21 Jun 2012, 1:42 pm

MXH wrote:
and the tally is up to 3 girls having messaged me in24 hours of making the account


So what I'm learning (or reaffirming) is that women are shallow, if not more than men. If you have a nice body or lots of money and a bit of charisma/confidence prepare yourself for lots of sex.



Kinme
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21 Jun 2012, 1:45 pm

rabbittss wrote:
I'm receptive to the idea of it.. I just don't see any point in actually expending effort to get it.. Not when every single other attempt at doing anything involving another human being in my entire life has lead to abject failure.


But of course the same group of people will be on here in a flash to tell me that if I'd just change my attitude (even when I have been given no valid reason or evidence to suggest that if I change my attitude anything in my life will change) because it's all my fault!

Maybe what i need to do is find a concrete block wall and run full speed, head first into it. Then maybe I can be positive like I'm supposed to be.


You don't have to expend effort. Don't do anything at all. Just be happy with what you're doing and try not to worry about relationships if you're believing it will always result in failure.

I'm not saying you have to be any certain way; be who you are, and don't lie to yourself and everyone else. If people aren't going to accept it, I guess they aren't.



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21 Jun 2012, 1:46 pm

bizboy1 wrote:
MXH wrote:
and the tally is up to 3 girls having messaged me in24 hours of making the account


So what I'm learning (or reaffirming) is that women are shallow, if not more than men. If you have a nice body or lots of money and a bit of charisma/confidence prepare yourself for lots of sex.


Meanwhile those of us who paid attention to the lessons in kindergarten, are respectful, quiet, sharing, caring, etc, are consistently locked out until all the fun times are over and it's time to settle down.