any women here who have never dated, never had a boyfriend?

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By the way, if you want to gain context, I invite you to visit what she has said earlier in this thread.

Hello everyone,

First of all please forgive my terrible English but I am French so I guess this constitue a valid excuse. Sorry I did not read the all topic just to explain shortly it is currently 5am in Paris and I am coding like everyday and I wanted to take a break so I decided to come see how the forum about Asperger look like (I am used to forums but never went on Asperger's) and I found this topics and it looks like you want to heard story about desperate over-20 women (just kidding)

So I guess I am mentally tired enough to share mine.

I was born on August 15th 1994 so I am now 22 and I am pretty extreme in my love experience:
-Never had a boyfriend
-Never had any kind of sexual experience
-Never kissed a boy nor a girl (single kiss not even talking about the famous french kiss)

But maybe my experience does not really fit what you are expecting here but maybe it could be useful to someone. To be clear I do not want a boyfriend or any sexual experience because it is pointless to me I do not regret to miss this important part (at least for others) of the humain life. But I guess this is pretty commun for autistic girl if I refer to what they told me at the hospital where they tested me, the French Wikipedia article about Asperger and in addition, since I think of me of an asexual girl I read sometime the Aven forum posts (forum for asexual) and a large part of girls there are Aspergers too (large comparing to the hole population of couse).

But this does not mean my romantical life is that simple because first of all I am not aromantic so I can sometime experience a romantical attraction to some boy but fortunately for me I am pretty good to think rationally and understand that the way I live and what I expect in life is incompatible with the fact of having a boyfriend.

The worst part for me is that as a computer scientist fund of things like videogames or fencing I almost see no girls in my life and the boys around me are not as rational as me plus I do not know why despite the fact I do not generally speak to a lot to them I have a lot of success with male the two theories are it is becase male usually love mysterious "inaccessible" woman or maybe just because they like the way I look (sorry to be that arrogant but the society usually consider me as a non-ugly girl). It as been like that for almost ten years because at 12 I looked like 15 so there were boys following me in the streets to try to have my phone number and every of those unpleasant things a lot of women knows about and I never succeed to manage it. Most of the time I cannot believe guys could find any interest in me so even with the warning of other people I am always sure it is just friendship until they say "I love you" (yeah I know this is pretty serious) and to me it is the most terrifying thing I know. To make you understand the "I love you" sentence came out 5 times in 2 years so I never had a rest. Each time I repeated the same mistake with another boy promising me "I know you had a hard time with the other guy but you can trust me we will just be friends" and each time this ended up in chaos (real chaos me trying to say no him misunderstanding sometimes they touched me in a way I did not agree with and each time I succeed to escape at the very last moment but he usually complained to everyone saying that my only goal is to break men's heart and they are now sure I just want to be the center of attention). Funny. Because the only thing I want is disappear. But after four years like that I was very bad I was sick of this because to me they are just traitors because they all promised they were just seeking friendship. But anyways everyone including my parents think I am the one who is wrong because "this is obvious they are just boys after all" and I am tired of all of this because to me this is just an expression of sexism because NO ONE wants to believe me when I say I do no want a boyfriends because to them a woman NEEDS a man an WANTS a man and they are stuck in their very own vision of happiness (which is of course the couple) and refuse to understand that I will not have sexual experience because I do not feel any envy (most of the people teaching me those lessons did not experience homosexual sex but they are telling me that I HAVE TO TRY. What a joke)

To conclude because I has been an hour since I started writing, now I am avoiding contacts with men and stopped to try to make friends in general because I fear everyone. I have a derogation of my university because of my autism allowing me to work from home and all alone.

This is it, this text is absolutely pointless I do not seek anything and I think it will be quickly lost in the internet ocean but for those who where seeking experiences like mine maybe they will find it interesting and if it is not the case at least I did my break.

Maybe I will pass by later to respond if there is some reactions

Farewell

Best from Paris

Being asexual sounds awesome. I would be 3 times a smart if I didn't devote two thirds of my brain power to sex and girls.

Thoughts of lust can be so distracting when I'm trying to study.

Sir Isaac Newton was asexual and look at how much he accomplished with any carnal distractions.

Thanks for sharing your story. Sorry for the guys in your life, not respecting the friend zone. Most guys (not all) think they have a chance, even if it's ridiculous. (Probably a good thing for our species to propagate)

And he was not the only one


It is not the first time I heard this argument that it is great because I can easily focus and now maybe from the outside it is the case because I spend all my time all alone in a dar room coding all night sleeping all day and I do not feel lonely but it is a real burden in society because in France at least no one ever heard of asexual people and they do not believe me they think it is a strange way to get attention..... to attract men! I will never get out of it so now I am like really really alone I spend month without getting out so even if I like it this way because I could not stand tis anymore I can figure that what I do is not the best existence possible for a human so I am not sure I am that lucky.
Maybe I would have.... In another society

I can understand them to be honest a lot of people like autisms or very similar profile works in computer science so when they sees me most of them find for th first time of their life a girl who looks lie them a lot so it is very conforting and this also explain what they always develop feelings but even if it is difficult to me it is like the "final boss" of social relationship so I would have learned to manage even if I had to experiment hard times. My main problem is that the society is not ready to accept girls like me if I were a boy they would have probably say "he is just an immature geek leave him alone" but no one is ready to believe that there are girls who actually wants to live that way. I know I am not the only one the main difference is that a lot of them try because of the social pressure and quit after that. But I do not want to do something I do not want to just to satisfy people who want to prove themthelves they knows what is the best. I tried for 4 years to be understood but the more I explained the more everyone was trying to prove the contrary (they even accused the cream I used for my face to decrease sexual attraction) so I concluded from those experiences that I am too different and the society is not ready for case like mine and I never found someone understanding this so simple point that I am good with myself as an old virgin missing her life, not ashamed of that or anything so why would I change? It is hard enough to fine a way too feel good since I found it I would be crazy to leave it so I prefer to live alone for now. I just think this is a little bad