As a guy ~

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I suppose I have some kind of chance to stay closer to someone I really care for. I might become roommates with her brother & a friend of ours. Just having them around at all means a lot more people in my life.

The thought of opening up again socially drives me bonkers. I think I need to be more open about autism problems with all my friends & seek greater understanding as my first priority. We don't always get along perfectly but I would be a serious mess without them. I can't just hug everything out, we need to really talk & I need to make a relaxing place for us to do so.

For now I can only focus on work & keeping my job past the 1 year mark. Work is going OK for me but my back is against the wall on a code project I've been assigned. At least I've clarified some of it for my bosses.

I've built a software engineering resume from total scratch, I'm not convinced by anyone, not even my closest friends, that I can't do this & that, particularly in my love life. I know plenty of things most guys haven't grasped in their whole life. I'm a village shaman for 120,000 people.

What we have here is a failure to communicate, between the sexes that is. I want to listen more but that means I have to get people talking.

I've been a hopeless romantic since I was 6 or 7. It's OK by me.

I had a crush in kindergarten, her name was Kimberly.

As a lifelong nerd, I've received so much hostility towards my every romantic inclination that I've almost totally withdrawn.

I really hope I can help my friends & myself get past stereotyping each other.

guess what?


i'm still f*****g miserable.


and i'm still not over that girl.

you know the one.

same.

You're definitely not subhuman.

Feelings of inadequacy arise when you're not following your heart.

If you are pursuing the path that will bring you inner peace, something you are truly passionate about, you will attract the right woman.

But I know it's hard. Sometimes it's better to just hide away for a little while until those feelings pass. (They will).

Mine come from the fact nearly every woman I’ve met or tried to date says I’m not good enough to date or not a real man. There’s men and women, if I’m not a real man, then I’m must not be human and and so subhuman. It certainly goes with how they treat me. Not acknowledging me, almost knocking me over and saying nothing etc.

Good income and status is what attracts most women and I don’t have either.

The suggestion you are not a real man is sexist and a social construct. You are as human as the rest of us sly and you are just as manly as the next man. We may not agree politically, but I think you are a great guy with a huge heart that has plenty to offer someone that is compatible with you. The biggest problem I see is your tendency to becoming a self fulfilling prophecy.

It's one thing to not be a particular woman's idea of someone appropriate to date; it's another to not be a real man. If you're a male aged 18 or over, then you're a real man. It's not fair of them to say that just because they personally are not interested. People can be really hurtful sometimes. Don't listen to the ones who just want to put you down. Just tell yourself it's their loss. You'll find someone better. One day, women will be falling all over themselves to get at you, and these women who rejected you will have to stand on the outside and watch.

Life is going to get better!

I generally have no idea what women actually think of me, most of them just don't want to deal with my overactive brain I guess.

I'm not concerned as much about that as I am about how much we can accomplish by talking more.

I don't think those things are exclusive cberg. There are times we may put off a certain behavior or even how we speak & respond to others that can create an impression that may not be conductive of conversation.

How others view us can impact whether they find us approachable, pleasant, interesting etc. If they view you as being kind of sad sack, argumentative, curt etc. they probably won't want to talk with you much. And of course if people are going to limit their interaction trying to talk with them more is going to be more than an uphill battle.

I wouldn't say I'm generally any particular one if those things in person most days. Everyone is limiting human interaction lately.

I'm not feeling too great about this part of myself today though. I can only wait & see.

I think my primary requirement of a partner is the ability to thrive in each other's company without any talking. So, naturally, I would prefer things to start nonverbally.

I sort of agree but I'm looking to open a dialog about these things with someone who inexplicably managed to get close to me. I need to be more forthcoming about my ASD with women in my life.

The only way we can be that comfortable around each other is if we talk everything over.

Uh, take up sign language? Mime? Eyebrow semaphore?

Cberg - are you looking to come up with ways to bring up the subject of ASD?

I think typically you can start most conversations by asking questions about the other person and their life. People do tend to like to talk about themselves.