Blog post on the epidemic of forced celibacy in males

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RICKY5
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15 Oct 2010, 1:03 am

Craig28 wrote:
Down in the sex stakes, but I've compensated in other areas. Money for instance. I don't know anyone who can match what I have.


Money can buy love or a reasonable facsimile thereof! :twisted:



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15 Oct 2010, 7:12 am

@HopeGrows, legalization of prostitution has been shown to have little or no positive effect on the sex workers. and with legal prostitution comes an exponential rise in illegal prostitution. the netherlands can no longer effectively police it at this point. amsterdam is overwhelmed by gangsters and crime associated with the trade. sweden has the best approach: help the workers and police the customers.


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mechanicalgirl39
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15 Oct 2010, 7:37 am

nostromo wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Celoneth wrote:
Women are PEOPLE, not REWARDS for good behaviour. You work hard, you deserve a raise at work, a medal from the mayor, a cookie, etc. you are not entitled to the affections and sexual services of another PERSON.



THANK YOU! I'm tired of hearing all this crap about how women owe men sex. I'm tired of hearing how if you buy a woman stuff and lift heavy things for her, she's now obliged to have sex with you. Even if you're stupid, or fat, or you just happen to be Aryan looking and she likes dark skinned guys. And she's a wicked, evil b***h if she doesn't give you the sex that she owes you.

For god's sake. It's not a hard concept to understand. Women are human beings. Not sexual vending machines. We don't owe men sh**.

Can't fault your post.

The unrequitted powerful sex drive of a male who is ill equipped to form relationships is a terrible thing though. It's like god saying I will give you a terrible thirst and no means to get water. My life experience tells me the 'drive' is quite different for women.

It's is more the males problem when you think about it.
Somewhere I saw a link to an article about low functioning autistic horny boys being given drugs to stop them being horny (and therefore a menace). It would be good if something like that was readily available for anyone to take.

Perhaps you could buy it at the supermarket and it would be called 'Sex away'. Mint flavoured or in tangy orange.

But no..theres a stigma attached to sex, it's supposed to be 'natural' and 'healthy', something we strive to achieve. And if you can't there's something wrong with you.

Bah.


I do understand having the problem of a high sex drive but not a relationship, but what's wrong with masturbation? I honestly don't mean that as an attack, I'm genuinely curious. I do understand it's not as strong a satisfaction as actually having sex with another human being, but in my experience anyway, it makes me feel better and less distracted. It's not emotionally the same but it takes the powerful physical drive down. Maybe it's different for men?


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RICKY5
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15 Oct 2010, 11:45 am

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
nostromo wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Celoneth wrote:
Women are PEOPLE, not REWARDS for good behaviour. You work hard, you deserve a raise at work, a medal from the mayor, a cookie, etc. you are not entitled to the affections and sexual services of another PERSON.



THANK YOU! I'm tired of hearing all this crap about how women owe men sex. I'm tired of hearing how if you buy a woman stuff and lift heavy things for her, she's now obliged to have sex with you. Even if you're stupid, or fat, or you just happen to be Aryan looking and she likes dark skinned guys. And she's a wicked, evil b***h if she doesn't give you the sex that she owes you.

For god's sake. It's not a hard concept to understand. Women are human beings. Not sexual vending machines. We don't owe men sh**.

Can't fault your post.

The unrequitted powerful sex drive of a male who is ill equipped to form relationships is a terrible thing though. It's like god saying I will give you a terrible thirst and no means to get water. My life experience tells me the 'drive' is quite different for women.

It's is more the males problem when you think about it.
Somewhere I saw a link to an article about low functioning autistic horny boys being given drugs to stop them being horny (and therefore a menace). It would be good if something like that was readily available for anyone to take.

Perhaps you could buy it at the supermarket and it would be called 'Sex away'. Mint flavoured or in tangy orange.

But no..theres a stigma attached to sex, it's supposed to be 'natural' and 'healthy', something we strive to achieve. And if you can't there's something wrong with you.

Bah.


I do understand having the problem of a high sex drive but not a relationship, but what's wrong with masturbation? I honestly don't mean that as an attack, I'm genuinely curious. I do understand it's not as strong a satisfaction as actually having sex with another human being, but in my experience anyway, it makes me feel better and less distracted. It's not emotionally the same but it takes the powerful physical drive down. Maybe it's different for men?


It's different for everyone. Males have an inherent need for sex far more than women do. If you look at the stats of the aids epidemic, gay men were dying at a way higher rate than lesbians were.



RICKY5
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15 Oct 2010, 11:50 am

hyperlexian wrote:
@HopeGrows, legalization of prostitution has been shown to have little or no positive effect on the sex workers. and with legal prostitution comes an exponential rise in illegal prostitution. the netherlands can no longer effectively police it at this point. amsterdam is overwhelmed by gangsters and crime associated with the trade. sweden has the best approach: help the workers and police the customers.


Just like punishing drug users works so well...

Why should someone be punished just for conducting a transaction with another consenting adult? Because there is no expensive jewelry and overpriced bars involved?



mechanicalgirl39
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15 Oct 2010, 11:53 am

RICKY5 wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
nostromo wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Celoneth wrote:
Women are PEOPLE, not REWARDS for good behaviour. You work hard, you deserve a raise at work, a medal from the mayor, a cookie, etc. you are not entitled to the affections and sexual services of another PERSON.



THANK YOU! I'm tired of hearing all this crap about how women owe men sex. I'm tired of hearing how if you buy a woman stuff and lift heavy things for her, she's now obliged to have sex with you. Even if you're stupid, or fat, or you just happen to be Aryan looking and she likes dark skinned guys. And she's a wicked, evil b***h if she doesn't give you the sex that she owes you.

For god's sake. It's not a hard concept to understand. Women are human beings. Not sexual vending machines. We don't owe men sh**.

Can't fault your post.

The unrequitted powerful sex drive of a male who is ill equipped to form relationships is a terrible thing though. It's like god saying I will give you a terrible thirst and no means to get water. My life experience tells me the 'drive' is quite different for women.

It's is more the males problem when you think about it.
Somewhere I saw a link to an article about low functioning autistic horny boys being given drugs to stop them being horny (and therefore a menace). It would be good if something like that was readily available for anyone to take.

Perhaps you could buy it at the supermarket and it would be called 'Sex away'. Mint flavoured or in tangy orange.

But no..theres a stigma attached to sex, it's supposed to be 'natural' and 'healthy', something we strive to achieve. And if you can't there's something wrong with you.

Bah.


I do understand having the problem of a high sex drive but not a relationship, but what's wrong with masturbation? I honestly don't mean that as an attack, I'm genuinely curious. I do understand it's not as strong a satisfaction as actually having sex with another human being, but in my experience anyway, it makes me feel better and less distracted. It's not emotionally the same but it takes the powerful physical drive down. Maybe it's different for men?


It's different for everyone. Males have an inherent need for sex far more than women do. If you look at the stats of the aids epidemic, gay men were dying at a way higher rate than lesbians were.


That's from different biology though. Not to put too fine a point on it...an anus tears a lot more easily than a vagina does.


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15 Oct 2010, 12:26 pm

LOL RICKY5 thanks for opening my eyes! I should present a pretty fat bill to my husband for the last 8 years! :lmao:


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RICKY5
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15 Oct 2010, 1:36 pm

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
RICKY5 wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
nostromo wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Celoneth wrote:
Women are PEOPLE, not REWARDS for good behaviour. You work hard, you deserve a raise at work, a medal from the mayor, a cookie, etc. you are not entitled to the affections and sexual services of another PERSON.



THANK YOU! I'm tired of hearing all this crap about how women owe men sex. I'm tired of hearing how if you buy a woman stuff and lift heavy things for her, she's now obliged to have sex with you. Even if you're stupid, or fat, or you just happen to be Aryan looking and she likes dark skinned guys. And she's a wicked, evil b***h if she doesn't give you the sex that she owes you.

For god's sake. It's not a hard concept to understand. Women are human beings. Not sexual vending machines. We don't owe men sh**.

Can't fault your post.

The unrequitted powerful sex drive of a male who is ill equipped to form relationships is a terrible thing though. It's like god saying I will give you a terrible thirst and no means to get water. My life experience tells me the 'drive' is quite different for women.

It's is more the males problem when you think about it.
Somewhere I saw a link to an article about low functioning autistic horny boys being given drugs to stop them being horny (and therefore a menace). It would be good if something like that was readily available for anyone to take.

Perhaps you could buy it at the supermarket and it would be called 'Sex away'. Mint flavoured or in tangy orange.

But no..theres a stigma attached to sex, it's supposed to be 'natural' and 'healthy', something we strive to achieve. And if you can't there's something wrong with you.

Bah.


I do understand having the problem of a high sex drive but not a relationship, but what's wrong with masturbation? I honestly don't mean that as an attack, I'm genuinely curious. I do understand it's not as strong a satisfaction as actually having sex with another human being, but in my experience anyway, it makes me feel better and less distracted. It's not emotionally the same but it takes the powerful physical drive down. Maybe it's different for men?


It's different for everyone. Males have an inherent need for sex far more than women do. If you look at the stats of the aids epidemic, gay men were dying at a way higher rate than lesbians were.


That's from different biology though. Not to put too fine a point on it...an anus tears a lot more easily than a vagina does.


There was far more transmission among males though because of increased frequency of contact.



Craig28
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15 Oct 2010, 4:01 pm

I'd like to point out something to all of you who fall into the "I hate men who pay for sex because its damaging the woman" camp:. I am no longer going to the woman I see. Only because she is the one ripping me off. Besides, sex less important to me then money is. Remember, its my choice if I pay for sex or not, its nothing to do with anyone else.

Just like its a woman's choice alone if she has an abortion. Because its her body. Its the man's choice if he wants to have a relationship or just pay for some fun instead. What he does with his body is up to him and him alone.



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15 Oct 2010, 10:09 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
@HopeGrows, legalization of prostitution has been shown to have little or no positive effect on the sex workers. and with legal prostitution comes an exponential rise in illegal prostitution. the netherlands can no longer effectively police it at this point. amsterdam is overwhelmed by gangsters and crime associated with the trade. sweden has the best approach: help the workers and police the customers.

I'm including a link below to a metadata study done in 2007 by the New Zealand Ministry of Justice on the impact of legalizing and/or decriminalizing prostitution around the world.

Procon.org

From the study:
"Conflicting results – There were conflicting results about impacts, frequently supporting different ideological views. In general, feminist and religious groups have tended to see few positive effects of decriminalisation or legalisation. Those in health organisations, human rights groups and sex worker collectives have generally done the opposite."

The study concludes that there haven't been enough studies of the impact of legalization and/or decriminalization to draw concrete conclusions. However it appears that the impacts are closely tied to how legalization and/or decriminalization is implemented. Most countries have not taken a comprehensive approach that includes requiring insurance companies to offer medical insurance to sex workers, requiring that customers be tested, require the use of condoms (female and/or male), etc. Unfortunately, it seems that most countries have floated a kind of grudging approach to legalization and/or decriminalization, and IMO, that's not what's needed to introduce real change into this industry.


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16 Oct 2010, 10:18 am

Quote:
Say there was a rattlesnake that bit you five times on your face. Is this justification for killing it?


No, you do not have the right to kill/main/rape someone because you have "hurt feelings."

No, you do not have the right to kill/main/rape someone because they have something you want and they won't give it to you, even if you want it really, really badly.

If everyone believed they had a right to kill/main/rape others because they have "hurt feelings," or because they can't have what they want, society would be a shambles.

As for having "emphathy" for Georgie, people generally aren't going to pity someone who feels they have the right to kill/murder/rape their children, spouse, siblings, or parent/s for whatever the reason. If the killer is of sound mind, then there are other options available to him to deal with his pain besides going on a killing spree, and he can reasonably be expected to seek out those options. Violence was not Sodini's ONLY choice, and there are millions of people who deal with "pain" everyday who choose not to "lash out." Ultimately, I have about as much sympathy for George as I do for a person who shoots a bunch of people in a shopping mall because he's angry and upset he doesn't have any money.


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16 Oct 2010, 10:34 am

Quote:
In response to the rattlesnake remark:

Come the f**k on! You are not entitled to sh**. 6 billion beings on this planet let's drop everything and work on your problem.

Sodini was a f**** creepjob who couldnt deal. If he wanted to bang 20 year olds so bad all hed have to do is drop a c note or two. Love is conditional and never free.


I just wanted to say I think you're a smart guy, Ricky.

Best of luck in all your endeavors, be it prostitutes or any other relationship you may desire.


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16 Oct 2010, 11:26 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
Quote:
Say there was a rattlesnake that bit you five times on your face. Is this justification for killing it?


No, you do not have the right to kill/main/rape someone because you have "hurt feelings."

No, you do not have the right to kill/main/rape someone because they have something you want and they won't give it to you, even if you want it really, really badly.

If everyone believed they had a right to kill/main/rape others because they have "hurt feelings," or because they can't have what they want, society would be a shambles.

As for having "emphathy" for Georgie, people generally aren't going to pity someone who feels they have the right to kill/murder/rape their children, spouse, siblings, or parent/s for whatever the reason. If the killer is of sound mind, then there are other options available to him to deal with his pain besides going on a killing spree, and he can reasonably be expected to seek out those options. Violence was not Sodini's ONLY choice, and there are millions of people who deal with "pain" everyday who choose not to "lash out." Ultimately, I have about as much sympathy for George as I do for a person who shoots a bunch of people in a shopping mall because he's angry and upset he doesn't have any money.


I agree with you on the "not having the right to kill" issue. But, as a man who's been down on his luck for as long as i can remember (and i'm not even looking for sex, just a stable loving relationship), let me tell you that it's very hard to not feel resentful. I can cope by accepting that it's my fault and i'm the failure at life, and as such, all the resentment flows inward to where it won't lash out and destroy. But if you get a guy with a big ego (like sodini), he won't be able to do that. And it lashes out. Yes, I get the idea that lashing out is generally a bad idea. But telling someone who is for all intents and purposes unlovable to not feel any resentment at all is just stupid.



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16 Oct 2010, 11:34 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
I agree with you on the "not having the right to kill" issue. But, as a man who's been down on his luck for as long as i can remember (and i'm not even looking for sex, just a stable loving relationship), let me tell you that it's very hard to not feel resentful. I can cope by accepting that it's my fault and i'm the failure at life, and as such, all the resentment flows inward to where it won't lash out and destroy. But if you get a guy with a big ego (like sodini), he won't be able to do that. And it lashes out. Yes, I get the idea that lashing out is generally a bad idea. But telling someone who is for all intents and purposes unlovable to not feel any resentment at all is just stupid.

@Toad, it's not about denying the existence of resentment. It's about what each individual chooses to do with that resentment that separates the humane from the inhumane. George Sodini could have chosen to deal with the issues that were the source of his resentment in a constructive, rather than destructive way. But he chose to destroy, rather than take responsibility for making the changes in his life that would have led to a happier and more satisfying existence. His choice to murder is not something that befell him - it's a cold, calculated, evil choice that he made.


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16 Oct 2010, 11:41 am

Yes, I understand that... I don't condone his actions either. He could have dealt with it the way I do, for example... at the very least I'm a productive member of society and not unfairly labelled as life unworthy of life. But I get the idea from the posters here that people are saying "oh George should have just been happy instead, despite everything that happened". And that I cannot stand for...



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16 Oct 2010, 12:48 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Yes, I understand that... I don't condone his actions either. He could have dealt with it the way I do, for example... at the very least I'm a productive member of society and not unfairly labelled as life unworthy of life. But I get the idea from the posters here that people are saying "oh George should have just been happy instead, despite everything that happened". And that I cannot stand for...

I don't get the impression that anyone posting here has expressed the idea that Sodini, "should have just been happy," with his life. I think some posters have regarded his behavior as a natural consequence of his social failures, and other posters have taken the exact opposite perspective. I don't think his happiness has really been the focus of this debate - I think everyone realizes that he was a miserable person. But his misery was a consequence of his choices: he wanted to date someone out of his league, and he didn't want to do anything to join the league he aspired to. He refused to accept reality, and instead allowed his anger and frustration to dominate his life.

I think that's important for you to understand, in particular, @Toad. You've made some choices that have severely limited your pool of potential partners: you only look within your congregation. Honestly, I don't expect your prospects to improve as long as you cling to that self-limiting decision. And be clear about that - it's your decision not to look elsewhere. To second @Janissy's opinion (posted in another thread), you need to relocate. If you won't broaden your search criteria for a potential partner, then you have to find another congregation, in a much bigger town.


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