"Just be friendly."

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But of course what I predict:

- WP women will deny the above, this is a given.
- The media is probably blaming it on gaming, and not on the elephant in the room: the rise of online dating (and "coincidentally" it boomed since 2008) which makes getting sex with super hot men very easy for average women, while making it very hard for average men to even get a date with an average woman.

But of course what I predict:

- WP women will deny the above, this is a given.
- The media is probably blaming it on gaming, and not on the elephant in the room: the rise of online dating (and "coincidentally" it boomed since 2008) which makes getting sex with super hot men very easy for average women, while making it very hard for average men to even get a date with an average woman.

Female sexuality is different from male sexuality. If a straight boy kissed another boy, perhaps to amuse some girls who might be watching, he would be unlikely to undergo a change in sexual orientation as a result. But, as Professor Roy Baumeister at Florida State University and others have shown, sexual attraction in many women seems to be more malleable (see note 3 below). If a teenage girl kisses another teenage girl, for whatever reason, and she finds that she likes it—then things can happen, and things can change. If a young woman finds her soulmate, and her soulmate happens to be female, then she may begin to experience feelings she's never felt before.

Especially if all the guys she knows are losers.

Which brings me to the second point I've encountered in my interviews with young people. Twenty years ago, when I opened my practice in a suburb of Washington DC, it was rare to find 14-year-old boys who were looking at pornography every day. Today it's common—in fact, it's becoming the norm. When I meet with a group of 14-year-old boys and I ask them, "how many of you guys subscribe to a porn site?", all hands go up. I don't believe them. But today, no boy wants to admit that he's the weirdo who doesn't look at online porn. Twenty years ago, hardcore pornography was tucked away in adult bookstores. Today any 14-year-old can access such photos online in seconds. Role models for young men, from pop singer John Mayer to the 2009 World Series MVP Hideki Matsui, talk openly about their collections of porn (see note 4, below).

Is there any connection between these two trends—between the rise in the number of young women who self-identify as lesbian or bisexual and the increasing normalization and acceptance of pornography in the lives of young men? Maybe there is. A young woman told me how her boyfriend several years ago suggested that she shave her pubic hair so that she might more closely resemble the porn stars who were this young man's most consistent source of sexual arousal. She now identifies herself as bisexual. "It was just such a welcome change, to snuggle under a blanket on the couch with my girlfriend, watch a movie, and talk about God and death and growing old, to be intimate emotionally and spiritually as well as physically. I don't know a guy who could even comprehend the conversations we have."

I predict stuff very well.

Especially if all the guys she knows are losers.

Maybe if you all spent less time coming up with theories, you’d have more time to meet people.

What are you talking about?

I have TWO dates tomorrow.

Just notice that it's you who posts here way more than me in every thread, maybe you should go out and meet somebody.

^ He lost credibility and my respect when he wrote:



So if she is not attracted to any guy she knows then it means all the guys she knows are losers?

Is this really a PhD level writing?

We’re talking about a 10% difference here based on gender. It’s hardly the earth shattering difference you seem to be suggesting.

I’m hardly in a hurry to have sex with a super hot man. I’ve not tried online dating, either. More young people had sex in the past year than not.

^^ That’s true!

I guess I get frustrated when guys focus on the wrong reasons as to why they are struggling instead of working towards improving in the areas that they can. It’s a no win situation. Nothing productive can come from it.

I don’t want to belittle the trials of those who are struggling with depression. That needs to be addressed first, but approaching anything with a defeatist attitude just becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I’ve only dated people who were much less educated than me, and in the future, I’m certainly more interested in finding someone that I can have a fulfilling intellectual dialogue with. I’m not saying that I’m that smart; it’s just that it’s nice to be able to have things in common with one’s partner. Being friends with a lover is ideal.

I have TWO dates tomorrow.

Men value a woman's appearance first, personality and everything else second. By and large, this is true of all men.

And they project this onto us. They assume that because they do this, we do it too. Which is not entirely correct.

Yes, we can see a handsome man and recognize and even admit that he's good looking. But the minute he opens his mouth and stupid and rude and obnoxious comes out, it tends to kill the good looks. And yes, handsome guys can also be creepy and weird. On the other hand, a guy may not be all that great looking, but if he's calm, kind, warm, caring, friendly, and skilled socially so that he can make women feel safe and accepted in his presence, etc., it can make up for a LOT.

That is strange, and utterly different from the women I've known over the years.

Dating is kind of more complex than our own personal experiences and human needs are actually more in common than we like to project/believe.

Men value a woman's appearance first, personality and everything else second. By and large, this is true of all men.

And they project this onto us. They assume that because they do this, we do it too. Which is not entirely correct.

Yes, we can see a handsome man and recognize and even admit that he's good looking. But the minute he opens his mouth and stupid and rude and obnoxious comes out, it tends to kill the good looks. And yes, handsome guys can also be creepy and weird. On the other hand, a guy may not be all that great looking, but if he's calm, kind, warm, caring, friendly, and skilled socially so that he can make women feel safe and accepted in his presence, etc., it can make up for a LOT.

I think we focusing on WP single Aspie males who are struggling with making the first move....those who do make the move then have to overcome the other "hurdles" you list but obviously many do make it as there's plenty of married men plus WP males in relationships who post on this forum.