Why do girls want cocky, arrogant guys?

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Either you don't know what women like, or you don't know what it means to treat them "like people".

What do women really like? The top four, to the best of my knowledge, are:

Attention: Not always the "Look at me" kind of attention, but the kind of attention displayed by a person who actually listens to what she says -- both the words and the feelings behind them.

Closeness. Not necessarily physical closeness (not all of the time, anyway), but emotional or "spiritual" closeness; an awareness of each other's feelings and moods that does not require discussion, but that often leads to it.

Honesty. Open honesty that does not confront or criticize. Also, the kind of honesty that carries no pretense -- "Be Yourself" is the operative concept; but if being yourself means that you remain alone for the rest of your life, then either change your "self" or learn to deal with the loneliness.

Comfort. Four things are likely to violate any woman's "Comfort Zone": (1) Violence or threats of violence; (2) Blatant sexual overtures; (3) Unwanted physical contact; (4) Unwanted attention. Each of these can get you arrested, or at least consigned to the "Creep Zone". So, lower your voice, forget the profanity, unclench your fists, look her in the eyes (hint: they're not on her chest), keep your hands to yourself, and leave her alone if she's not interested in you.

Of course, every woman is unique, and may put more emphasis on one of these than the others. In any case, women are not prizes to be won, property to be owned, or wishes to be granted. They are people, just like you.

Thankfully this is one small gift that ASD gave me. I keep getting hung up on them always constantly hammering on about doubts and fears, leaving me looking for the merits & proof.


About this. How does one discern if being yourself = remaining alone for the rest of your life


With this point, how can men best shore up on this? If I fully recognize that I have issues with communication what's the next thing to do about it?

I wholeheartedly commend you for recognizing your difficulty and your wanting to do something about it. However in all honesty, I wouldn't know what to recommend since I'm an NT woman. I only recognize when someone has a communication difficulty, my recommendation to an NT probably would not be appropriate for someone who was AS or ND.

There's a blog I like to read, it's written by a guy who coaches other men - he can be found at doctornerdlove.com. He caters to the geek guy crowd, but he's got excellent advice in general for anyone who has dating difficulty, men or women. And I suspect a lot of his readers who comment on his posts fall in the AS crowd as well.

Cool! He seems a lot better than red pill.

Why is L&D turning into r/incel?

Yeah I do like his blog, he seems to be really down to earth and has a lot of interesting ideas.

Because it's much easier for some people to place blame elsewhere than to face up to the fact that they are causing their own problems.

He posts an advice column on Kotaku as well. Dr. Nerdlove is great.

https://kotaku.com/tag/ask-dr-nerdlove

NO U

no, you just decided that i think that

if women dont like a**holes, then why do so many women cry about their absuive ex bf? why do all guy bullies always have or had a gf?

To be honest pretty much everyone has or has had a girlfriend, not just a**holes.

0.o
So you honestly think your the cause for everything that happens to you and that not a single other persons actions effect you?
Others have far more to do with what happens to us then us. Unless you live on an island population 1 but even then if China dumps pollutant in the water and air that’ll pollute your islands water and air and I guess you’ll just be like it’s my fault china polluted my water and air
Point is you don’t exist in a bubble, others effect your life daily and you effect others lives
As for what the post person said about women I find it offensive.

not me

Invalid only in the Christian history perhaps.

- Ancient pagans practiced polygyny.
- Ancient Jews/Hebrews practiced VERY heavy polygyny.
- Ancient Hindus practiced polygyny (prohibited only in 20th century).
- Ancient Asian cultures practiced VERY heavy polygyny (stopped in 20th century only, literally only the elite males could get married in ancient asian dynasties).
- Muslims practiced polygyny (much more common in the ancient history).

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 26 Jun 2018, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'll give you a hint.

Come, join my harem.