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TwilightPrincess
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22 Jun 2019, 6:01 pm

Fnord wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
Men value a woman's appearance first, personality and everything else second. By and large, this is true of all men. And they project this onto us. They assume that because they do this, we do it too. Which is not entirely correct. Yes, we can see a handsome man and recognize and even admit that he's good looking. But the minute he opens his mouth and stupid and rude and obnoxious comes out, it tends to kill the good looks. And yes, handsome guys can also be creepy and weird. On the other hand, a guy may not be all that great looking, but if he's calm, kind, warm, caring, friendly, and skilled socially so that he can make women feel safe and accepted in his presence, etc., it can make up for a LOT.
I think we focusing on WP single Aspie males who are struggling with making the first move....those who do make the move then have to overcome the other "hurdles" you list but obviously many do make it as there's plenty of married men plus WP males in relationships who post on this forum.
Ahh ... but if a man makes the first move for the first time in his life and strikes out, then that's a 100% failure rate, and he is unlikely to try again. What is such a loser supposed to do?


The only thing he should do is come on WP and make a post about alpha males.



Fnord
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22 Jun 2019, 6:19 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Fnord wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
Men value a woman's appearance first, personality and everything else second. By and large, this is true of all men. And they project this onto us. They assume that because they do this, we do it too. Which is not entirely correct. Yes, we can see a handsome man and recognize and even admit that he's good looking. But the minute he opens his mouth and stupid and rude and obnoxious comes out, it tends to kill the good looks. And yes, handsome guys can also be creepy and weird. On the other hand, a guy may not be all that great looking, but if he's calm, kind, warm, caring, friendly, and skilled socially so that he can make women feel safe and accepted in his presence, etc., it can make up for a LOT.
I think we focusing on WP single Aspie males who are struggling with making the first move....those who do make the move then have to overcome the other "hurdles" you list but obviously many do make it as there's plenty of married men plus WP males in relationships who post on this forum.
Ahh ... but if a man makes the first move for the first time in his life and strikes out, then that's a 100% failure rate, and he is unlikely to try again. What is such a loser supposed to do?
The only thing he should do is come on WP and make a post about alpha males.
Why not rednecks, too? Not that it matters ... it's really just another Blame Game.



cyberdad
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22 Jun 2019, 6:39 pm

Fnord wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
Men value a woman's appearance first, personality and everything else second. By and large, this is true of all men. And they project this onto us. They assume that because they do this, we do it too. Which is not entirely correct. Yes, we can see a handsome man and recognize and even admit that he's good looking. But the minute he opens his mouth and stupid and rude and obnoxious comes out, it tends to kill the good looks. And yes, handsome guys can also be creepy and weird. On the other hand, a guy may not be all that great looking, but if he's calm, kind, warm, caring, friendly, and skilled socially so that he can make women feel safe and accepted in his presence, etc., it can make up for a LOT.
I think we focusing on WP single Aspie males who are struggling with making the first move....those who do make the move then have to overcome the other "hurdles" you list but obviously many do make it as there's plenty of married men plus WP males in relationships who post on this forum.
Ahh ... but if a man makes the first move for the first time in his life and strikes out, then that's a 100% failure rate, and he is unlikely to try again. What is such a loser supposed to do?

Yeah but this is the group I am trying to help by giving insight



cyberdad
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22 Jun 2019, 6:40 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
The only thing he should do is come on WP and make a post about alpha males.


Fnord wrote:
Why not rednecks, too? Not that it matters ... it's really just another Blame Game.[/color]


Wait...are you guys trying to profile me 8O



Fnord
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22 Jun 2019, 9:57 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The only thing he should do is come on WP and make a post about alpha males.
Fnord wrote:
Why not rednecks, too? Not that it matters ... it's really just another Blame Game.[/color]
Wait... are you guys trying to profile me?
Not intentionally. Why ... can you recite the entire alphabet on one belch? Have you ever used a weed-whacker to clean your living room? Does your car's mileage double whenever you remove all of the empty beer cans from the back seat? Do you and your dog both use the same tree? Did you wear a bowling shirt to your momma's wedding? Does the most common marriage proposal used by the men in your family consist of the words, "You're gonna have my what?"



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22 Jun 2019, 10:52 pm

Luhluhluh wrote:
The other elephant in the room is that with the rise of the Internet and online activity has led to stunted real life socialization. Like - why go out and meet people when you can have conversations on your phone? You don't have to read another person's facial expressions, their tone of voice, etc. And as men generally have fewer people in their real life social networks to begin with, there is a slew of guys out there who are totally socially incompetent and think that what they see on TV or movies is how life really is - or is supposed to be anyway. And those are the same guys who fall down the Red Pill rabbit holes and blame all women on their social problems, when in reality, the problem they THINK they have isn't the problem they REALLY have, which is that they have no idea how to effectively talk to women (or each other, for that matter) and they're pissed off about it.

And sure, women are having less sex too because, not only if we're trying to further our careers and we have very little time between homework, papers, exams, and so forth, AND if our options are limited to a guy who has no educational or life goals, who has no idea how to act in public, has no manners, can't hold a basic conversation, and is a bitter, whiny as*hole, why on earth would we bother?


Why do you post on my threads when you don't want me to have a girlfriend? You've told me to give up and I don't want anyone to tell me that.

I am pretty sure you are aiming this post at me as well and I am reporting it.



cyberdad
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23 Jun 2019, 1:06 am

Fnord wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The only thing he should do is come on WP and make a post about alpha males.
Fnord wrote:
Why not rednecks, too? Not that it matters ... it's really just another Blame Game.[/color]
Wait... are you guys trying to profile me?
Not intentionally. Why ... can you recite the entire alphabet on one belch? Have you ever used a weed-whacker to clean your living room? Does your car's mileage double whenever you remove all of the empty beer cans from the back seat? Do you and your dog both use the same tree? Did you wear a bowling shirt to your momma's wedding? Does the most common marriage proposal used by the men in your family consist of the words, "You're gonna have my what?"

ok so accidental not intentional



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23 Jun 2019, 2:43 am

Marknis wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
The other elephant in the room is that with the rise of the Internet and online activity has led to stunted real life socialization. Like - why go out and meet people when you can have conversations on your phone? You don't have to read another person's facial expressions, their tone of voice, etc. And as men generally have fewer people in their real life social networks to begin with, there is a slew of guys out there who are totally socially incompetent and think that what they see on TV or movies is how life really is - or is supposed to be anyway. And those are the same guys who fall down the Red Pill rabbit holes and blame all women on their social problems, when in reality, the problem they THINK they have isn't the problem they REALLY have, which is that they have no idea how to effectively talk to women (or each other, for that matter) and they're pissed off about it.

And sure, women are having less sex too because, not only if we're trying to further our careers and we have very little time between homework, papers, exams, and so forth, AND if our options are limited to a guy who has no educational or life goals, who has no idea how to act in public, has no manners, can't hold a basic conversation, and is a bitter, whiny as*hole, why on earth would we bother?


Why do you post on my threads when you don't want me to have a girlfriend? You've told me to give up and I don't want anyone to tell me that.

I am pretty sure you are aiming this post at me as well and I am reporting it.



I guess she has a grudge against her “AS partner”... not sure if they’re still together, I sensed before that she hates him and so she hates all AS men.



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23 Jun 2019, 8:32 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
The other elephant in the room is that with the rise of the Internet and online activity has led to stunted real life socialization. Like - why go out and meet people when you can have conversations on your phone? You don't have to read another person's facial expressions, their tone of voice, etc. And as men generally have fewer people in their real life social networks to begin with, there is a slew of guys out there who are totally socially incompetent and think that what they see on TV or movies is how life really is - or is supposed to be anyway. And those are the same guys who fall down the Red Pill rabbit holes and blame all women on their social problems, when in reality, the problem they THINK they have isn't the problem they REALLY have, which is that they have no idea how to effectively talk to women (or each other, for that matter) and they're pissed off about it.

And sure, women are having less sex too because, not only if we're trying to further our careers and we have very little time between homework, papers, exams, and so forth, AND if our options are limited to a guy who has no educational or life goals, who has no idea how to act in public, has no manners, can't hold a basic conversation, and is a bitter, whiny as*hole, why on earth would we bother?


Why do you post on my threads when you don't want me to have a girlfriend? You've told me to give up and I don't want anyone to tell me that.

I am pretty sure you are aiming this post at me as well and I am reporting it.



I guess she has a grudge against her “AS partner”... not sure if they’re still together, I sensed before that she hates him and so she hates all AS men.


Lol we have been together for more than 16 years. We have a house that we are refurbishing, and we are planning our next trip. Being with an AS partner for this long has given me a lot of insight into how your minds work. You guys tend to have communication problems, you get angry because you feel misunderstood, but instead of having some introspection and self-awareness you lash out and blame the people around you for your issues. You want everyone else to change to suit you. And that's never going to happen.

The problems you have are not the ones you think you have. But that's up to you to learn. And if you don't it's only you who is going to suffer for it. The world will go on with or without you.


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23 Jun 2019, 9:04 am

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TwilightPrincess
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23 Jun 2019, 9:12 am

Luhluhluh wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
The other elephant in the room is that with the rise of the Internet and online activity has led to stunted real life socialization. Like - why go out and meet people when you can have conversations on your phone? You don't have to read another person's facial expressions, their tone of voice, etc. And as men generally have fewer people in their real life social networks to begin with, there is a slew of guys out there who are totally socially incompetent and think that what they see on TV or movies is how life really is - or is supposed to be anyway. And those are the same guys who fall down the Red Pill rabbit holes and blame all women on their social problems, when in reality, the problem they THINK they have isn't the problem they REALLY have, which is that they have no idea how to effectively talk to women (or each other, for that matter) and they're pissed off about it.

And sure, women are having less sex too because, not only if we're trying to further our careers and we have very little time between homework, papers, exams, and so forth, AND if our options are limited to a guy who has no educational or life goals, who has no idea how to act in public, has no manners, can't hold a basic conversation, and is a bitter, whiny as*hole, why on earth would we bother?


Why do you post on my threads when you don't want me to have a girlfriend? You've told me to give up and I don't want anyone to tell me that.

I am pretty sure you are aiming this post at me as well and I am reporting it.



I guess she has a grudge against her “AS partner”... not sure if they’re still together, I sensed before that she hates him and so she hates all AS men.


Lol we have been together for more than 16 years. We have a house that we are refurbishing, and we are planning our next trip. Being with an AS partner for this long has given me a lot of insight into how your minds work. You guys tend to have communication problems, you get angry because you feel misunderstood, but instead of having some introspection and self-awareness you lash out and blame the people around you for your issues. You want everyone else to change to suit you. And that's never going to happen.

The problems you have are not the ones you think you have. But that's up to you to learn. And if you don't it's only you who is going to suffer for it. The world will go on with or without you.


I don’t know...

Being married for 16 years seems like an awfully good reason to hate someone. :P



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23 Jun 2019, 9:20 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
The other elephant in the room is that with the rise of the Internet and online activity has led to stunted real life socialization. Like - why go out and meet people when you can have conversations on your phone? You don't have to read another person's facial expressions, their tone of voice, etc. And as men generally have fewer people in their real life social networks to begin with, there is a slew of guys out there who are totally socially incompetent and think that what they see on TV or movies is how life really is - or is supposed to be anyway. And those are the same guys who fall down the Red Pill rabbit holes and blame all women on their social problems, when in reality, the problem they THINK they have isn't the problem they REALLY have, which is that they have no idea how to effectively talk to women (or each other, for that matter) and they're pissed off about it.

And sure, women are having less sex too because, not only if we're trying to further our careers and we have very little time between homework, papers, exams, and so forth, AND if our options are limited to a guy who has no educational or life goals, who has no idea how to act in public, has no manners, can't hold a basic conversation, and is a bitter, whiny as*hole, why on earth would we bother?


Why do you post on my threads when you don't want me to have a girlfriend? You've told me to give up and I don't want anyone to tell me that.

I am pretty sure you are aiming this post at me as well and I am reporting it.



I guess she has a grudge against her “AS partner”... not sure if they’re still together, I sensed before that she hates him and so she hates all AS men.


Lol we have been together for more than 16 years. We have a house that we are refurbishing, and we are planning our next trip. Being with an AS partner for this long has given me a lot of insight into how your minds work. You guys tend to have communication problems, you get angry because you feel misunderstood, but instead of having some introspection and self-awareness you lash out and blame the people around you for your issues. You want everyone else to change to suit you. And that's never going to happen.

The problems you have are not the ones you think you have. But that's up to you to learn. And if you don't it's only you who is going to suffer for it. The world will go on with or without you.


I don’t know...

Being married for 16 years seems like an awfully good reason to hate someone. :P


Lol like any other couple we have our moments. No couple doesn't, and I think that venting gets confused for hate - which is too strong a word anyway. That's that Aspie black and white thinking again - just because someone is not smiling at you doesn't mean they hate you (common comment I see around here). :lol:


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rdos
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23 Jun 2019, 9:33 am

Luhluhluh wrote:
Lol we have been together for more than 16 years. We have a house that we are refurbishing, and we are planning our next trip. Being with an AS partner for this long has given me a lot of insight into how your minds work. You guys tend to have communication problems, you get angry because you feel misunderstood, but instead of having some introspection and self-awareness you lash out and blame the people around you for your issues. You want everyone else to change to suit you. And that's never going to happen.

The problems you have are not the ones you think you have. But that's up to you to learn. And if you don't it's only you who is going to suffer for it. The world will go on with or without you.


I don't think so. The only way you can learn how an AS partner works is by being on the spectrum yourself. The problems that arise when NDs and NTs get together are related to communication & social incompatibilities and doesn't say anything at all about how a natural ND-ND relationship could work.



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23 Jun 2019, 9:35 am

Lulu, I reached this conclusion, because ever you joined WP, you haven’t said any 1 positive thing about your AS partner.

You talk about him as if he is some kid or mentally challenged.

Whatever this thing was between you two, it was certainly not love, nor respect either.



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23 Jun 2019, 9:39 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Lulu, I reached this conclusion, because ever you joined WP, you haven’t said any 1 positive thing about your AS partner.

You talk about him as if he is some kid or mentally challenged.

Whatever this thing was between you two, it was certainly not love, nor respect either.


People often vent about their relationships in online communities. How can you actually know how you feels?



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23 Jun 2019, 9:47 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Lulu, I reached this conclusion, because ever you joined WP, you haven’t said any 1 positive thing about your AS partner.

You talk about him as if he is someone kid or mentally challenged.


I think you missed my posts about how he completely rebuilt our kitchen and bathroom entirely on his own without requiring outside help. Or how he's won awards for his astrophotography.

If you want to continue to see me as the bad guy that's fine because it doesn't hurt me. What I think is funny is how guys on this forum continually dismiss any comment a woman makes, then spend all their time jumping down the Red Pill rabbit hole to blame shift and explain their own problems or failures. I guess it's more comforting to indulge in your own confirmation bias than to face up to the fact that maybe what you have to offer a partner isn't as stellar as you think it is.


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