29 Mar 2013, 12:04 pm
IlovemyAspie wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
ShelbyGt500 wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
aspiesandra27 wrote:
Isn't this like asking if all black women are attractive? As an example?
Too much of a generalisation? Or are all autistic women meant to look a "certain" way?
I haven't read the whole thread, so pardon me, if I am asking repeated questions.
Too much of a generalisation? Or are all autistic women meant to look a "certain" way?
I haven't read the whole thread, so pardon me, if I am asking repeated questions.
I don't have the energy to read the whole thread but I was thinking the same thing.^^^
Facial expressions do not equal attractiveness. Body language does not equal attractiveness. Who knows how many people we think are attractive that are on the spectrum.
Where have the two of you been? This forum is filled with people who face these challenges when just trying to meet someone or get enough attention to find out they are nice. If you read dating ads, how often do you see a nice smile as a requirement? The question was no posed in a way that restricts the scope to simple physical attributes. And, none of the comments have been anything like "I think an NT girl makes a miniskirt look better than an ASD girl," or otherwise.
Where have I been?? My profile says I've been on WP for about a year. Long enough to know about the issues of which you speak.
I don't read dating ads. I can only go by what I look for when dating. When I would describe my Aspie guy the first thing on the list wasn't his smile.
I think we both mentioned we didn't read the entire thread. So maybe that's why we didnt get the gist. But that's why I prefaced my comment the way i did.
He can be funny but it's not what he's known for. That would be me
lol. He's highly intelligent. The conversations we used to have at the beginning stemmed around gmo's (genetically mutated organisms-I think??? Can't remember) and stuff like that. I think it was his quirkiness in general. He didn't put to much emphasis on fashion, minded his own business and pretty much kept to himself. The exact opposite of me! Lol. Not to mention I find him attractive. Something drew me in and had me fixated on him.
29 Mar 2013, 12:51 pm
29 Mar 2013, 1:59 pm
29 Mar 2013, 2:22 pm
29 Mar 2013, 2:59 pm
30 Mar 2013, 5:46 am
30 Mar 2013, 10:29 am
ShelbyGt500 wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
I went back and looked at the first, albeit ancient page of this thread and it specifically relates to outward appearance.....so maybe Aspiesandra and I weren't too far off. Maybe it has evolved since then but I believe that was the original intent.
From the original post, "...Problem is, that the ones in my area are sheltered, unappealing, and very awkward..." And, many of the comments from page 1 of the discussion had to do with the usual autistic "awkwardness," with very little discussion of physical attributes. Appearance has to do with much more than physical attributes. One of the hard and challenging realities of being autistic is that the dynamics of appearance are extremely important to NT's.
As an example, let's consider your picture in your avatar. You make the dress look good, your hair is stylish complimenting your facial features, and your glasses are quite fashionable. However, there are no dynamics - your aren't moving. Yes, you are making a gesture of some sort, but there is no motion or dynamic lack of motion. Total there-in-person appearance is complex.
I went back and snagged a couple of snippets from my first comment: "...I find approximately one in twelve women attractive..." and "...Physically, the two sets of women both autistic and NT must be physically about the same. However, I find a higher percentage of autistic women attractive, so the commonality of autism must have some positive effect in my perception..."
I have seen quite a few "sheltered, unappealing and very awkward looking" NT's-at my job alone!! Lol
When I've told some of my good friends that I really liked "so and so" I got "he's CUTE". Now mind you NO ONE knows he has AS. He's not overly expressive but other NT's do find him attractive. I guess what I'm getting at is if you're attractive you're attractive, whether you're smiling, just sitting there emotionless or whatever. I've never heard my friends say "he'd be cute if he smiled". I think the awkwardness in itself can be appealing but I don't think it detracts from attractiveness. Sometimes it's kind of an enhancement! None of my NT friends have said "he's super cute but the awkwardness he exudes is a turn
off." I've heard "he's got a goofy walk but it's cute."
People can be superficial. Plain and simple. I don't like superficial. I want you to think I'm physically attractive but
I'd much rather you find my mind and soul attractive. One of my favorite sayings "beauty fades, dumb is forever."
Then there's this thing where you meet someone, get to know them and then they become super sexy
I think that's the best kind of attractiveness it goes deeper than the surface.
My avatar? She may lack dynamic but if you've seen the movie, you'd know she's AWESOME!! Which goes along with the above sentence.
@AspieOtaku *tickle tickle*
30 Mar 2013, 10:38 am
30 Mar 2013, 11:47 am
IlovemyAspie wrote:
ShelbyGt500 wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
I went back and looked at the first, albeit ancient page of this thread and it specifically relates to outward appearance.....so maybe Aspiesandra and I weren't too far off. Maybe it has evolved since then but I believe that was the original intent.
From the original post, "...Problem is, that the ones in my area are sheltered, unappealing, and very awkward..." And, many of the comments from page 1 of the discussion had to do with the usual autistic "awkwardness," with very little discussion of physical attributes. Appearance has to do with much more than physical attributes. One of the hard and challenging realities of being autistic is that the dynamics of appearance are extremely important to NT's.
As an example, let's consider your picture in your avatar. You make the dress look good, your hair is stylish complimenting your facial features, and your glasses are quite fashionable. However, there are no dynamics - your aren't moving. Yes, you are making a gesture of some sort, but there is no motion or dynamic lack of motion. Total there-in-person appearance is complex.
I went back and snagged a couple of snippets from my first comment: "...I find approximately one in twelve women attractive..." and "...Physically, the two sets of women both autistic and NT must be physically about the same. However, I find a higher percentage of autistic women attractive, so the commonality of autism must have some positive effect in my perception..."
I have seen quite a few "sheltered, unappealing and very awkward looking" NT's-at my job alone!! Lol
When I've told some of my good friends that I really liked "so and so" I got "he's CUTE". Now mind you NO ONE knows he has AS. He's not overly expressive but other NT's do find him attractive. I guess what I'm getting at is if you're attractive you're attractive, whether you're smiling, just sitting there emotionless or whatever. I've never heard my friends say "he'd be cute if he smiled". I think the awkwardness in itself can be appealing but I don't think it detracts from attractiveness. Sometimes it's kind of an enhancement! None of my NT friends have said "he's super cute but the awkwardness he exudes is a turn
off." I've heard "he's got a goofy walk but it's cute."
People can be superficial. Plain and simple. I don't like superficial. I want you to think I'm physically attractive but
I'd much rather you find my mind and soul attractive. One of my favorite sayings "beauty fades, dumb is forever."
Then there's this thing where you meet someone, get to know them and then they become super sexy
I think that's the best kind of attractiveness it goes deeper than the surface.My avatar? She may lack dynamic but if you've seen the movie, you'd know she's AWESOME!! Which goes along with the above sentence.
@AspieOtaku *tickle tickle*
31 Mar 2013, 10:08 am
01 Apr 2013, 3:01 am
ShelbyGt500 wrote:
aspiesandra27 wrote:
Isn't this like asking, if all black women are attractive? As an example?
Too much of a generalisation? Or are all autistic women meant to look a "certain" way?
I haven't read the whole thread, so pardon me, if I am asking repeated questions.
Too much of a generalisation? Or are all autistic women meant to look a "certain" way?
I haven't read the whole thread, so pardon me, if I am asking repeated questions.
The question implicitly asks if the commonality of autism is a factor in attraction. Keeping mind, autism can be a hugely negative factor in many relationships. Since a lot of factors go into attractiveness, and body language seems to be one of them, a parameter that addresses body language seems reasonable to me. So, it's really a specific instance of the general issue of how autism affects relationships.
Hmm, maybe there is something to that. I just looked at the latest article on WP (http://www.wrongplanet.net/article444.html) by Maja Toudal, who may be better known here as TheAnMish. I definitely find her attractive in the videos posted on that channel, but not in the pictures on the article page. (I would not have recognised her in those pictures, actually.) I think the difference would come down to facial expression and body language. In the videos she just looks so sincere and real and in those photos - she doesn't. Of course, she is very good-looking in both, yet I somehow ignore that in the photos because they look like any other "glamour shots". (I hope she doesn't read this and get offended, as she obviously put effort into looking good in those photographs, but... it hasn't worked on this aspie.
)
01 Apr 2013, 4:20 am
Northeastern292
Veteran
Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,159
Location: Brooklyn, NY/Catskills
01 Apr 2013, 8:07 pm
Guilty as charged, especially if they show an NT side.
But then again, finding an aspie girl like myself I feel will be a next to near impossible chance. Turns out girls of my fantasy are as rare as triple rainbows.
If you want to know more, PM me because I could rant about this.
01 Apr 2013, 8:18 pm
Northeastern292 wrote:
Guilty as charged, especially if they show an NT side.
But then again, finding an aspie girl like myself I feel will be a next to near impossible chance. Turns out girls of my fantasy are as rare as triple rainbows.
If you want to know more, PM me because I could rant about this.
But then again, finding an aspie girl like myself I feel will be a next to near impossible chance. Turns out girls of my fantasy are as rare as triple rainbows.
If you want to know more, PM me because I could rant about this.
I know too well what you are talking about.
I'm one of those "NT-aspies" myself. Where are the hot, sporty, NT-like aspie girls. Those who are aspies but live an NT-life with lots of make-up, high heels and pink underwear...okay maybe not exactly but you get my point
Last edited by qawer on 01 Apr 2013, 8:25 pm, edited 3 times in total.
01 Apr 2013, 8:22 pm
Northeastern292
Veteran
Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,159
Location: Brooklyn, NY/Catskills
01 Apr 2013, 9:36 pm
qawer wrote:
Northeastern292 wrote:
Guilty as charged, especially if they show an NT side.
But then again, finding an aspie girl like myself I feel will be a next to near impossible chance. Turns out girls of my fantasy are as rare as triple rainbows.
If you want to know more, PM me because I could rant about this.
But then again, finding an aspie girl like myself I feel will be a next to near impossible chance. Turns out girls of my fantasy are as rare as triple rainbows.
If you want to know more, PM me because I could rant about this.
I know too well what you are talking about.
I'm one of those "NT-aspies" myself. Where are the hot, sporty, NT-like aspie girls. Those who are aspies but live an NT-life with lots of make-up, high heels and pink underwear...okay maybe not exactly but you get my point
Exactly. I know I'm going to get some dirty stares, but Alexis Wineman can't be the only autie like herself. I've come across aspie girls who are in sororities, in fact, I know of two, and went to college with one of them. My point exactly (albeit partly). Again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
