People letting themselves go once in a relationship.

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If you only want to eat the cake after knowing what kind of cake, you are being sexist.
Cakeist.

No cake. no cake for anyone.

I'm not entirely sure what to make of your statement here, but what I managed to catch was that you don't really want to be tagged for wanting your mate to look damn good- so you are willing to push that onto "society" for emphasizing that. But still... you want your mate to look damn good.

I mean, even if you claim to not hold a specific view, if you engage in the behaviors you are still actively perpetuating it's continued existence.

I don't really think it's sexist to be more attracted to a particular "type". It's not really my business because I'm not going to waste my energy trying to convinced whoever jerkface [not you specifically Alexander, but some random WhoeverJerkFace] that like, even though I don't match the specifications I'm still a good catch. Or, conversely, trying to morph myself to match the specifications. It doesn't work. It makes people crazy.

That said... if you assume that GirlWithRedHairNotBlonde must be boring or have no personality or whatever negative qualities unrelated to your personal attraction to blonde hair simply because of her lack of blonde hair... that's something to consider maybe an issue.

I'm confused why a person is sexist for seeing bodies as beautiful or nice to look at. Like, REALLY confused. I find the female form easier on the eyes, personally but I like a male in the bed for the most part, and I don't want anyone else but my boyfriend.

I'm not sure how any of that is sexist. If it isn't, how are any of the other posts talking about male/female form/body and beauty/physical attraction sexist.
If it is, spell out exactly how it is sexist.

I really don't get it plsandthnkyou.

I wasn't calling you sexist for having preferences, I was pointing out that women are not the only ones who people see as beautiful. I'm not sure why the views of people who like attractive men should be ignored by society (and by society, I don't mean you; your views as you've stated them don't seem sexist, nor do you seem to be promoting double standards).

"That's the way the world works" and similar phrases trouble me: the world works the way it does because people make it that way; if people don't like something and work to change it, then the world will work differently.

I hope it's Cortina.

People have always desired judgement and punishment, we set each other a rite of passage is our passage to be considered of value, people have always desired judgement and punishment. That's the way of human nature, first people worshipped Gods and after that they worshipped status and the ability to judge others when they could no longer accept God.

People have been set rites of passage every single day through out history, long before the word sexist was ever invented. Millions of people will go through the same rites of passage today in work and social environments, if they don't meet those requirements, they will be severely rejected and cut off from the pack.

I always found nature to be brutal when I was younger and I was right but if viewed from a survival instinct, it is seen as logical from a scientific perspective. It is human nature and maybe I am being too brutally honest for some people here. Attraction for me has to be physical and on a deeper spiritual level, that's how I feel and that is how many people feel. If society didn't consider it so, beauty would not be held to such a high standard with shelves of magazines involving fashion and health magazines but there's also no reason to allow that to disregard our spiritual nature.

I don't believe wanting someone who gets your engines going to be sexist at all and as I already stated I'm not trying to change anyone, I have already found someone that meets every standard I could ever have. I have already stated that it is wrong to attempt to change someone against their will but it is up to us if we date them or not.

Someone not being suited to your preference doesn't make their qualities to be any lesser or detract from their personality but they need to be able to stimulate as well.

People will always compare and be in competition with the next person, healthy competition isn't a bad trait if it pushes us to grow beyond our estimations. People will always judge each other based on traits as such as beauty and status, I wasn't implying that men are not to be adorned or held to a standard either, it can apply to both sexes.

I agree with the cosmos girl above, in my experience, women are as visual as guys, they''re just less likely to admit it though.

So am I one of the females who isn't admitting it or am I not as visually stimulated initially?

Now, I see the person I am dating and I am damn stimulated, yeah.

But by making this statement, either I'm not telling the truth or... I'm not telling the truth. I mean, right? heh.


Also, Alexander, I think you may have possibly misinterpreted what i wrote before. I didn't say you were being sexist. I basically said you were claiming to not buy into the thing about wanting your mate to live up to certain physical standards [saying "that's the way the world works, it isn't my personal view"], but you actually DO want your mate to live up to certain physical standards.

I mean basically you are saying "it's not me, it's society". But... it's really you. I don't actually think it's sexist if it's your thing, though- that wasn't my point.

You've just admitted. Admit it, ladies, there's no shame to admit it. lol

It is a clinically proven fact that women can experience physical sexual arousal while viewing stimulating imagery. The catch is, they may not necessarily be emotionally aroused. They will involuntarily lubricate and their blood pressure, heart and respiratory indicators will increase accordingly, and though aroused it will not necessarily manifest a desire to act upon it (and many men are like this too!!). I really can't recall where I've read this, probably in some book or study but I recall it was in a reliable medical source, maybe WebMD.

Found something similar but I don't think it's the same study:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magaz ... wanted=all

I don't really need you to dig up a valid source, I don't challenge that assertion.
What am I personally admitting or not admitting here though?

I felt like the original response was [partly] off of something about attraction- different than being visually stimulated. I have difficulty being attracted to someone by visual cues alone. I have difficulty being stimulated visually with no other engagement.

I don't deny that I *can* be stimulated visually given certain other factors though [like merely seeing my boyfriend because there are other associations].
I don't really feel ashamed if [whatever stimulus] makes me horny, want to jump someone, whatever... whether or not I want to act on it.

I don't know. Sometimes looking at nice butts can be fun- but it doesn't... "get me going". Unless you want to generalize the term "stimulated". In which case we can throw a bunch of stuff under that category: looking out an airplane window, at a very beautiful piece of art, a very bright light, a disturbing picture, etc etc etc.



I think I have trouble when there isn't a clear understanding of definition of terms. I mean it's possible I just don't know what you mean. haha. ok sorry, I really didn't mean to bring this to the edge of ridiculous though I may have. I'm big on clarity because I clearly am easily confused.

It is the way the world works, when I was friends with girls that were not deemed as conventionally beautiful or attractive, women would ask me why I was hanging around with them and that a someone like me should only be seen with a beautiful woman or they expected that from me.

Surprisingly I think women are more vicious and hateful towards women that don't meet the physical standard from what I have seen. In fact, I have female friends that are into fitness and ones that aren't into it so my basis for befriending someone has nothing to do with that as long as they understand that I enjoy going to the gym but in the bedroom, I need a woman stimulates me and I am attracted to skinny bodies.

Last edited by AlexanderDantes on 10 Sep 2014, 10:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Is it better to accept things by saying "That's the way the world works", or is it better to change whatever small part of the world you can change for the better?

One can't change human nature, if you read above, you can see my response on how humans worship judgement..

You can change human behaviour, and you can change attitudes. If that weren't the case, I would still be able to own a slave: but on the other hand, I'd either be a withered old spinster or my husband's chattel. Things do change.

Attitudes towards objectification and beauty can change but people like to objectify beauty as a means to define the lines of perspective but change can break the rigid views of others.

If it isn't beauty, it's something else like your profession, the dimensions of your residence, what university you attended. People worship judgement and that is why so many celebrities and reality stars who will never do anything scientific are worshipped by masses of people.