How do females respond to 'broken' males?

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I don't think there are broken people, just circumstances where people can be perceived as broken.

I think there's more of an issue with the word "broken". IWB went on to explain when he meant by that. I think it's more about a man having more issues than other men.

This applies to the men on this site as well... I have been quite surprised with some of the complaints from men who want girlfriends but their attitude towards women is appalling and I can see why they are not having much luck. Obviously the same applies to some women as well but you cannot single out either gender out over that. I think everyone wants to get the best possible partner/s in life and I don't believe it is selfish to want that. I have a confident, attractive, interesting, caring and supportive partner (he is NT) and I don't think just because I have AS that I don't deserve him... and he obviously feels the same way.

I agree, it goes for both sexes, but the OP was asking how females respond, so I focused more on them, though I wasn't trying to single anyone out. We all want the best for ourselves, but we really need to take a deep look at what we have to offer. We can't always have our cake and eat it too.

Yes we can have our cake and eat it too. If that is possible then I don't see why one would not choose that. But, I do think that relationships are about compromise so that is not always possible and I don't think broken people are an attractive option for a relationship for me personally. I have always been very independent myself and I prefer the same in my partner. Others seem to like having a dependent and even if you think they might be ugly or not have their sh*t together, some people like that in a partner - perhaps it makes them feel better about themselves? To each their own really.

I have my share of problems, and I realize that I have these problems, so I do the best that I can to make the best of it. If someone was interested in me, and had similar problems as me, I would give them a shot, as long as they weren't unhealthy for me, or make me miserable. Relationships should be equal, but the problem is, people don't want someone that's equal, they always want a step or two above themselves.

When you say that broken people aren't an option for you, you are basically saying that you have problems yourself, but you don't want someone else that has the same problems, correct?

Everybody has problems, as far as I'm concerned, and you bring up a good point here. A lot of people don't realize they have problems, and they believe as a result that any issues that arise are a result of someone else's problems; if you're in a relationship with one of these people, that "someone else" is likely to be you.

I'd way rather be with someone who had more problems, and was consciously aware of them and proactive in dealing with them and minimizing their effects, than someone with less problems who was under the impression that they didn't have any at all.


Also, I fully admit I'm in the school of "have my cake and eat it too", because in my experience I know that it's possible... But I also understand, not only the patience, but the flexibility and level of effort that succeeding with this mentality requires, and if anyone ever sees me lamenting my alone-ness on here, please tell me to shut the f*ck up.

No I did not say that at all and I have no idea how you have come up with that interpretation of what I have said. I do not want a broken male (or female, as I am bisexual) as described in this thread. I want an equal, not someone above or below me (though I have never met someone I would consider "above/below" me, I don't think like that as I have a healthy self-esteem - people are either right for me or wrong for me, and I do not like labels of "above" or "below"). To refresh your memory:



I want the best possible partner that I can get (and in fact I do have that). This does not equate to them not having the same problems as me or being perfect. My partner is far from perfect (same as me), however we have an awesome relationship. I would classify neither of us as broken as per how the OP defined it. I have my sh*t together, no one has ever called me unattractive and whilst I do have issues relating to AS my partner sees most of my AS traits as positive things, or if not positive, he is indifferent towards them.

Ok, thanks for clearing that up. I think we are on the same page now. Anyways, I wouldn't want to be with someone that wasn't aware of their own problems, or chose not to deal with them either, but if they are honest about their shortcomings, and are at least trying to help themselves, then I wouldn't see anything wrong with having a relationship with them.

Well for me it really depends on their shortcomings, even if they are trying to fix things and are honest about them, as to whether I would want a relationship with them. For example, I would never want a relationship with an alcoholic or drug user, even if they were trying to get clean. For various reasons relating back to my childhood, that is a deal breaker. There are other things too, but just wanted to give an example so you can see what I mean.

At last, someone is honest enough here and not 'idealistic'.




I find the "Opposites attract" theory very untrue , usually girls seek guys who are better than themselves : physically, socially, intellectually and career-wise.

A physically athletic woman won't be attracted to a physically nonathletic weak man for example.

Plus what may be considered "broken" by one person may not be considered such by someone else.

If there's anyone who is "broken," it's the over-confident people who act like they're better than everyone else and never bother to do much self-examination. One of the worst flaws you can have is the inability to acknowledge that you have them.

Having been called one of these 'broken' males once or twice myself, I can tell you right now that MOST women just write it off and leave it be. There are some out there (my ex, for instance) who may not be DRAWN toward it but feel compelled to at least 'investigate'. Sometimes this can lead to discovery and relationships, but not always. After the way my last relationship turned out, I'm quite content to remain a broken, single male until they stick me in the grave, thank you very much. Broken and insane I may be, but even I know bad deals when I see them. Personally, I would rather date Aspergians, but with so few Aspergian females this is rather difficult. At this point in my life, though, I'm perfectly content to stay married to my books and my astronomy.

-TB

I would very much like to have a non-Aspergers girlfriend. Even better I would like to not exist

Why? What good would it do to cease to exist?

-TB