why you are a virgin?

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I have been shy for most of my life and still am. In high school I would hear the other kids talk about their relationships. They would talk about going out and hooking up with other people. While I did get crushes and sexual fantasies, I never wanted a relationship. High school dating didn't appeal to me. Then when I got to college I realized that I was getting older and lots of my friends were dating. I didn't want to feel left out. Then on Sept. 5th, I struck up a conversation with someone I met on a bus. She said she had a friend who would be interested in dating me. She gave me his number and I met him two days later (Labor Day).

Within a few days we changed our FaceBook status from Single to In A Relationship. We have already discussed when to become sexually active. I decided that it can only happen when 3 conditions have been met:

1. We have both been tested for STD's and the results are negative.
2. I have found a reliable form of birth control.
3. We have enough money saved for an abortion just in case the BC fails and I wind up pregnant anyway.

I am still a virgin now but that will change in the next few months. I have to admit it is strange to have a boyfriend. I know that relationships are natural for most people, but not me. I thought I would be a single never-been-kissed virgin my whole life.

Update: Lost it about 2 hours ago.

Pics or it didn't happen.

Tsk, tsk.

Something similar has happened to me, although the other way around. There's this girl (well, she's a few years younger than me - is there an age where you can't call her a "girl" anymore and should use "woman" instead?) who is single, and our boss and other coworkers constantly make puns on how we should hook up. Which is bad, as I actually like her, but I can't deal with that pressure (not to mention that I have a thing against relationships at work, and I believe company rules don't allow them either). And if that isn't enough, since she had apparently been on vacation when I started on this job and returned some days later, I wasn't properly introduced to her and felt really uncomfortable whenever I required to talk to her - until I commented on that fact the day (9 months later!) they were going to throw her a birthday party and asked me if I was going to be there - to which I answered that first, nobody had told me anything about any party, but as I said, I didn't find that odd, as most of the time nobody tells me anything. And then when they said I should give her flowers I mentioned how we hadn't been introduced. First another girl tried to jokingly introduce us, but I told her I considered it a serious matter. Then she attempted to introduce herself - in a way which I felt like an 18-wheeler coming at me at full speed. Finally our boss did a proper introduction - until he added something on the subject that being both single, maybe we should consider starting something. It had been going so well until then...

Well, I'm not a very sexual person, but I am very comfortable with the act and the thought of a companion. Just have no access, I don't have people to be around, other than family, so it's not an option. I'm moving out in awhile, maybe for enrollment at college, which means my chance of finding some kind of girlfriend is likely high. I do well with women, and if I do in fact meet a great woman who I have known long enough, I wouldn't at all be against getting to that point with her.

But to really answer the question, the last time I had the option of sex was back in middle-school, where this rather "loose" peer always tried to get me in bed. I knew even then there was no point to it, we're both too young then, and she'd already had one abortion - didn't at all seem desirable, especially considering that she slept around quite a bit and I wasn't into the idea of sex with someone I didn't love. I tell people all the time that I want my first time to be really special, and they always make this huge deal about how "gay" that is - problem is, they're all neurotypical and stupid, so I know that I'm only willing to have sex if it's with a person I truly love, and the moment is right for the both of us. Makes sense, logically, and I don't have a clue why every other guy tells me to screw any "hot chick" who presents to me. I want my first memory of the act to be one of intimacy, not lust, because I always retain those initial moments for all time. I don't hold the actual virginity special, just the memory. It's fine even if it doesn't happen until I'm much, much older. Love is best on my terms anyway.

I suspect it's an aspie thing but I find the idea of casual sex quite appalling, I'm pretty sure if that's what I wanted I'd have little problem. In terms of people I'm interested in I always mess up, I come on too strong, or not strong enough or am too casually honest. Or maybe I haven't met the right person. It could be that I'm just not relationship material. Part of it might be that I've stopped trying,maybe because I've no way of reading any signs.

I have no clue other than I aint 18 yet and have low self esteem,overweight, a nerd,and dont fell comfortable around females because there is no such things has female chubby chasers tv sitcoms with the attrcative female going out with the balding fat guy is impossible in the real world unlsess Its happens to famous people.
(please not the following section is not to be taking seriously)Alchol might help I dont me for the lady I mean for myself maybe to maybe lossen up because in social situations I go into robot mode.

I've noticed that a lot of people here don't care about sex, are afraid of it, or regard it as something impure. I will give my opinion on all of these:

A)Don't care

I personally think it is fine to feel this way. Some people have a stronger drive than others after all. However, there will most likely come a point your life when an opportunity will present itself, and let's just face it, there will come a time when we won't want to say no.

B) Afraid

Really this just goes back to something that aspies have in common: the constant fear of going through with life changing situations. All of the steps in having a relationship with the opposite sex (or same if you swing that way) can be extremely nerve racking to us, and getting to the point of having sex will probably the hardest of them all. All I have to say is don't give into your fear. I mean yes I sure as hell want my first time to be with someone I love, but when it comes to that time, will I have the courage to do it?

As for things like STDs and pregnancy, I say make sure to always have condoms on hand (at least until you want to have a family).

C) Impure

I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but I think this is a very pessimistic way of looking at it. Everyone has there reasons for believing this, but I personally think the one that really rattles me is religious beliefs. I'm saying that your beliefs are wrong, it just that the way I see it
is if God didn't want us to do it, then he wouldn't have given us the ability to. If you think it's vulgar or disgusting then don't look at it that way. Try to be more optimistic not just about sex, but a relationship or just life in general.

Which is the complete opposite for me.I am not afraid at all because I see has natuarl have lots of knowldge in that area.Though experience is always better then knowldge alone.

Because I've never been to a whorehouse before.

Good answer! I have entertained notions of procuring the services of a prostitute, but I am too neurotic and timid to actually do it.

Congratulations, Tim!

BTW, I noticed you are about a year my senior. That goes a long way towards giving me hope and giving me an emotional boost. Thanks!

Me to LOL

Because self-induced orgasms are cheaper, and the economy sucks right now...

1. I am physically unattractive. I am bony and short. I have never once received a compliment from a woman regarding my physical traits.

2. I don't even like women that much. I find most of them annoying, therefore I refuse to put up with their mind games just so I get in their pants. I guess most women can sense my bad attitude, and therefore they ignore me.

I will probably be the proverbial 40 year old virgin, my only option is to pay an escort, which I plan on doing. I want to have sex at least once.

Even the most unattractive woman has no idea what loneliness men like me are exposed to.