Are you a romantic?
Tim_Tex wrote:
I think it is.
Really?
While its true that I believe that there is a match for me out there, I would have to get to know him first and see/decide that he is the one for me before saying that he is m soul mate. He isn't "the one" because we were created to be together or anything - he's my one because we get along and admire, respect and enjoy one another's company for (extremely) extended periods of time.
Its a rare thing for two people to enjoy themselves more fully, and have more complete happiness when around/interacting with another person, but it has been demonstrated to be a reality on a multitude of occasions.
I do believe that everyone has someone that truly "completes" them in the way that they desire. However, it don't think its always a mutual thing.
ie: just because person A perfectly complements person B, doesn't mean that person B perfectly complements person A.
Now, I do think that there are couples out there that that complement each other mutually and perfectly. But such an ideal arrangement is tough to come by, and not everyone can manage to find a perfectly and mutually complementary person like this within their lifetime.
I do think there is at least one perfect complement out there for everyone. Now, what makes these complements 'perfect' for an individual is dependant upon the individual's preferences. These different complements are varied, but each one lets the individual being 'complemented' to recognize and enjoy different aspects of himself, (maybe) his partner, and his world. Love is when someone finds a person whose presence complements them in such a way that their perspective on some emergent-ly valuable aspect of their life (or the fulfillment of a desire) is answered in a way that makes then recognize how important that aspect/desire is to them.
Different 'loves' let people enjoy different aspects of the world in different ways. People have more than one soul mate; different soul mates do different things; and only one of the many kinds of soul mates is an individual's sexual soul mate. Unfortunately, I don't think that a person's sexual soul mate is always their companionship soulmate, but everybody has to compromise and choose what kind of a relationship they desire as their main one. I don't think this decision is cruel or irreconcilable to morality, it's just the way it is and people can be happy going with either choice (or just with whatever choice presents itself first). People are usually predisposed towards either companionship or sexual gratification as the primary desire - though most have a mix of the two and must deal with sacrifices if they are to be considered acceptable in society (societal acceptance is another desire that people have a drive to attain/maintain). Ofc course, coming across the soulmate that fulfills the compromised desire of an individual can cause problems if that person has been married to/ committed to another soulmate...
I have to stop now - I'm getting carried away.

ANYWAY! I've gotten way off track - I am so prone to rants its ridiculous! But, back on topic:
So, I suppose in the grand scheme of all time/space I am (sort of, kind-of, maybe, not really...) a romantic - in that I believe that there are people out there that mutually make one another happy, but in the day-to-day dating scene, I'm definitely more of a realist. I don't give-in/relax around a person unless I know I can trust him, and I won't feel comfortable "letting myself go" and giving in to the romance when dating someone unless, 1, I know I trust them, and 2, I want to be with him and enjoy being with him.
that's why dating is rough for me - I want trust to be a prerequisite to our romance and, how much I enjoy being around him (romantically) to be determined during the relationship. But, obviously, that's not the way the dating game works. You have to assume trust and hope that your heart doesn't get broken when this 'stranger' (that you may have grown attached to because you have found him to to be some kind of a complement to yourself through the course of dating) betrays you in either a fundamental, trust-based way or simply does not regard you as his ideal complement.
Whether he doesn't like the way that you complement him, or if he just violates the assumed and basic trust that went unspoken at the onset of the relationship, by rejecting/dumping you, he revokes from you a way of thinking that you have come to enjoy and that only he seems to evoke in you.
As usual, I'm bogging down the honest expression of my opinion with my stilted articulation and diluting my main point by using too many words... Sigh. I'm sorry.

But is it romantic to say that you'd prefer a relationship grounded in reality and founded upon proven basic trust instead of a relationship started based upon the influence of desires/emotions? To me that still sounds like a realist's point of view...

I can be very affectionate and sensual, if that counts.
Quote:
But is it romantic to say that you'd prefer a relationship grounded in reality and founded upon proven basic trust instead of a relationship started based upon the influence of desires/emotions? To me that still sounds like a realist's point of view...
I wouldn't know if it's romantic, but it is a nice preference.
_________________
I can make a statement true by placing it first in this signature.
"Everyone loves the dolphin. A bitter shark - emerging from it's cold depths - doesn't stand a chance." This is hyperbol.
"Run, Jump, Fall, Limp off, Try Harder."