Slight overweightness...kills chances?

Post Reply New Topic

Unfortanally I have to agree with the OP. I have not read the whole thread but due to what has happened to me through the years trying to find someone.

Sometimes I go to chatrooms and start talking with someone nice. We start to private chat. As soon as the see a pic of me or see me on cam that I am overweight they stop talking to me.

I also agree that people that judge you on your weight are not work your time. But it still hurts when this happens.

if your a bit tubby like me, dont worry about it (plus even i expect myself to get in shape before expecting a gf, it's a matter of heart and you need to have confidence and keeping yourself busy or exercising a bit)

if your fat then consider getting a fat gf, simple, if not work on you're confidence, self esteem and get some control into you're life (a career, job whatever, transportation, people and home living skills etc) get yourself to the point where you're happy with your life, and a gf is the topping to the cake (no pun intended ha ha seriously no offence)

if your obese then it is your own fault, you wasn't thinking and you need to exercise or liposuction or something! plus I wouldn't expect a girl to go out with me if i dress in the stuff i commonly wear, thats why i would dress up nice, get the collared shirts and nice pants i think

I know I am fat, not obese. I know this hurts my chances. But I am happy with who I am. I am not going to try and get thin just to have a GF. To me that is very shallow and narrow minded way of thinking. Besides, the person you are with should like and love you for who you are, and not demand you change for them.

Its one thing to try and encourage someone to loose weight, eat better, ect to show you care. Its another to say" "loose weight or I am leaving you" If you meet the right person, you will positivly encourgue them to change for the better, and they you.

yet another idealistic thread.

the world is the way it is, and not the way it "should" be according to you guys. get over it.

Slim male with small amounts of regular excercise here. Consider me an anecdotal example of a male who doesn't really care.
Though once I am already with someone, I do start to worry about their health, at least if a medical professional has expressed concerns.

To quote Izumi Konata: "There's a market for everybody."

I agree whole-heartedly with Tim Tex. Beauty is only skin deep.

To me, the most attractive women are intelligent, confident, witty, and peaceful, regardless of hair color, face shape, eyeshade, weight, height, and all the other things superficial people care most about. To take this one step further, models must be very shallow people because they spend all their time focusing on their outward appearance and therefore must not have much going on on the inside. I would rather spend an evening with a woman engaging in quiet, intelligent, stimulating conversation than basking in the glow of makeup and glitter and having nothing to say. True attractiveness comes from within and shines outward like a beacon.

Don't spend another second worrying about how you look. Instead, attend to the inner side of yourself and cultivate your personality by doing things like reading, meditating, listening to music, practicing a musical instrument, taking walks in the woods, exploring an art museum, pursuing your hobbies and interests, or any combination of things that suit your interests. Just be yourself. You are young and still have much time for your personality to shine through. You cannot make another person like you by changing your outward appearance and, even if you could, why would you want to be with somebody who is so superficial anyway? I can spot a poser a mile away.

It is important to have good hygiene, and to by physically healthy, but it only takes 30 minutes of excercise four times per week and a healthy diet to lead a healthy lifestyle.

Hope this helps

I had more luck with women when I was skinnier. I'm 6'4 and used to be 210, which is average I think. Then, I was more energetic and therefore more confident (that's how it works with me at least). Now that I'm 270 I'm not near as energetic, and less confident... or more anxious. I'm stuck inside, alone most times now... which contributed to weight gain. That is to say, the weight didn't make it harder to date, rather my isolation did and then I gained weight. Now the weight is an additional burden.

I admit, I'm a sucker for first impressions, looks are a part of this. I definitely tend toward content though, but that takes time I may not have/offer. And therein lies the problem with confidence, I realize how I size things on first impressions and feel the same is being done to me.

If you really want to get ugly about it... looking past nighters and flings... being overweight can often seem like a genetic flaw as opposed to a byproduct of the cultural structure and its physio/psychological impact. "I don't want my kids to look like that. I don't want my kids to act like that." Even more specifically, my grandfather would tell my Mother and I "you are a mistake" or call us "spoiled kin" not worthy of his bloodline.

I am often attracted to men who are a little on the soft side. Not to the point where it causes any serious health problems, but I actually like a little extra weight on some guys.

I don't know any guy who's attracted to the magazine supermodel type with unrealistic dimensions. I'm being serious here. I don't know why women keep believing that illusion, to be honest.

Being healthy weight doesn't guarantee success, either. I'm 6'2" and 180lbs, and women still aren't interested in me at all.