Finding Others Attractive

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I am attracted to men with a nice short hairstyles. I prefer a long sleeve button down shirt with blue jeans and boots.

I seem to be attracted to women in their late 20s, early to mid 30s that dress like Roz from Frasier or Elaine from Seinfeld. If you've never seen the shows, they wear skirts and sports coats, other times wear jeans and a leather jacket with a tight button up shirt or sweater under it.

I also like blonde women who wear black tops or all black.

I'm huge into fashion...I don't have a "casual" shirt in my collection. When I'm just hanging out with the guys, I'll wear a nice shirt and jeans, but it's still more dressy than the average person. When I go out, I wear shirts and ties.

Forgot to mention glasses, reading or otherwise.

I do find this quite attractive on women.


p.s delighted to contribute to the thread but how is this related to 'General Autism Discussion'?

H.

I remember a question on one of the online AS tests (probably the Aspie-Quiz) that said "do you have an alternative view of beauty?" I don't know if it was a truly diagnostic question or not, but clearly the author of the questionnaire must have thought it could relate to autism. Since Aspies are often very individualistic, it might well be that our attraction to other people reflects that, and some of the posts here would seem to support that assertion, though not all by any means.

On a slightly different note, one of the most beautiful stories I know is about an experiment conducted in a high school class. The researcher asked the boys to vote for who they felt was the most attractive girl in the class, and for who they felt was the ugliest. There was a good consensus in the results. Then, the boys were asked to start behaving as if they felt that the ugliest girl was the most attractive. So they started falling over each other to get a date with this girl etc. etc. After a few weeks of this, the boys were asked again who they felt was the most attractive girl in the class, and they mostly voted for the previously "ugly" girl. If I remember right, there were two main reasons for this. For one thing, the girl's confidence had been boosted, so she'd begun to take an interest in her appearance and was actually behaving more attractively. The other thing was the boys had broken up the silly, hackneyed prejudices and peer group pressure that had previously blinded them to the "ugly" girl's attractiveness.

When I first heard the story, I was delighted, because I'd always been surrounded by so many people who seemed to think that beauty was an absolute. I'd always sensed they were wrong, and that was the first time I'd ever heard of anybody else knocking holes in their way of seeing it. I guess these days with a TV show like Ugly Betty, the mainstream is finally beginning to realise the relativity of these things. Not before time. I haven't seen the show myself but the reviews seem to suggest they've taken up the concept quite well.

PS I did spare a thought for the poor girl who'd been originally voted the most attractive - she must have been gutted at being toppled from her throne, but no doubt there would have been lots of other boys for her, who hadn't received this enlightenment.

I remember seeing a question like that too. The men I prefer are not considered attractive by others (or not as attractive as I see them). I also do not find men that hollywood calls handsome to be so.

Speaking only for myself I can ASSURE you that my attraction to women has absolutely NOTHING to do with me being autistic..................thankfully

Last edited by Blindspot149 on 12 Mar 2010, 10:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm kind of attracted to about half of my female peers. It usually begins with the face - if she's pretty cute, I'm interested. My interest may fade if I don't find her interesting enough, or think she would be very difficult to be close to. Sometimes I develop an attraction to someone I wasn't attracted to to begin with, but it doesn't happen all that often these days. Usually the face is what makes me at least kind of attracted and how I get on with the person then determines the extent of my interest.

When I was a teenager I was naive enough to think I had an idea of what kind of girl I wanted, and accordingly was more picky.

I don't see how anybody could be sure - unless their preferences were very ordinary and middle-of-the-road. I'm actually quite glad mine aren't. If they were, I'd never be sure if it was my genuine preferences or just the result of mainstream brainwashing.

I fairly often deem people attractive by their writing.
But what the OP said about colours sounds familiar. I'm dazzled by colours.

Hello ToughDiamond, I'd like to acknowledge your point, which is very well made.

Having discovered my own AS and seen clearly how socially impaired I really am, it is also clear that when it comes to women, there doesn't seem to be very much impairment............

In fact comments by men in posts on WP about the difficulty in finding 'dates' or getting a gf are about as incomprehensible to me as the idea that a 'conversation' is anything OTHER than an exchange of information/facts for the purposes of reaching a scientifically sound conclusion

To return to your point, agreed.

I tend to be attracted (amongst other things) by intelligence (as I see it) and I DO seem to be attracted to that, more than most NTz that I know or meet seem to be.

In my experience men (I am talking about NTz here as I dont actually know any Aspies) are often (not always) intimidated by women that they perceive as intelligent.

A few months ago I was having a business dinner with two NTz, at a restaurant where there happened to be live music.

A very beautiful, tall and elegant young lady was playing the flute and wearing (what appeared to be..........see below) corrective vision glasses.

I made some complimentary (and polite) comments to my 2 associates about her. They BOTH mentioned that she was not their 'type' and openly confessed (very honestly) that she was above their 'level'

I know female college lecturers who wear corrective vision glasses just to keep the men away from them...........some women wear glasses with clear glass lenses

Very refreshing to hear of women who actively try to reduce their perceived sexual attractiveness. I get so fed up with the stereotyped "got to look as sexy as possible" thing. The cosmetics and fashion industry must be laughing all the way to the bank. Definitely the most (conventionally) attractive partners I've had were also the most insensitive and dishonest, at least in my limited experience.

I find it downright weird that a lot of men are scared off by female intelligence....though I don't doubt the truth of it. I always wonder why they don't just get inflatable dolls if they feel so uncomfortable with the idea of women who think. I don't think that selecting a "thickie" would allow a man to be particularly dominant......it really doesn't take much intellect for a woman to rebel against a tyrannical partner. Personally I think it's great when a woman is good at using her brains. It's nice for a man to be able to share intelligent ideas with a partner without getting the usual "there you go again, getting all technical."

Pretty much same here - If I get to know them, or otherwise get a snippet of their personality, I could be attracted by personality, but until that point, it's all looks and style. This is neither fake nor shallow, proven by the fact that you're thinking about it, and weighing the phenomenon objectively. This is simply how people work, and it makes sense, actually... It takes potentially no time to develop an appreciate looks. Meanwhile, it takes time to develop an appreciation for personality.

Don't be so self conscious, you're fine.

There is a scene in the movie 'Hannibal', where Hannibal Lecter is speaking with Commandatore Pazzi's wife at an open air Opera performance.

She engages him with her perspective on a poem and Lecter's face is one of absolute intellectual bliss (she was also rather attractive) and something that I can completely relate to.

That's the stuff It brought back a memory of a play I once saw (I forget the name) in which this guy, who seems never to have had or wanted a friend in his life, habitially annoys everybody around with his massive cynicism, until a female member of the party takes him down a peg or two by just telling him exactly what he's doing wrong - "You're almost completely negative aren't you? And that's so safe for you isn't it?" I can't recall the exact words but she systematically demolishes the callous interpersonal style that he's hitherto used to dominate and depress everybody he's ever come into contact with. She does it with some vitreol, but amazingly, instead of trying to retaliate or walking off in a huff, he just goes quiet for a few seconds and then says "Will you walk with me in the garden for a while?" I got the impression that it was the first time in his miserable life that he'd actually reached out for friendship. What a woman! Powerful intellect, strength, and the insight to know when to use it.