AS Males what are your views on girls

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I prefer Aspies for relationships, because we understand each other and can be more open. I actually have an Aspie girlfriend at the moment, so this may be a bit biased

I like the music of it.


Thanks.

Since this is in the love & dating section, I'll assume the OP refers to romantic relationships.

Things I find absolutely necessary to become romantically interested:

-That I can be myself with her; I don't mean she has to love every single thing about me or agree with me on everything, but that she must accept me as I am, warts and all.
-She has to be a good person. The 'nice girl' type is a subset of what I mean, but not the only possibility. A dark, cynical or aggressive (not as in violent or abusive) edge would actually be a plus. Shyness (which is not incompatible with the 'edge' I mean) is fine.
-There has to be enough overlap/compatibility in our interests for us to have things we can do together, talk about, etc, and be the sort of person with whom you can agree to disagree in areas with no overlap.
-She has to be at least of average intelligence.

Desirable, but not essential, features:

-Good looks. I go for the 'natural look.' Reasonably in shape but she doesn't have to look like she was an extra in Schindler's List - i.e. neither obese nor the sort you can see every bone in her body without x-rays. Nice legs, medium or large breasts, lustrous hair (preferably wavy), medium height, smooth skin. Big eyes.
-Cultured/expert in some area(s) of science and/or arts, without being the stereotypical 'artsy' type.
-A straightforward, down-to-earth character.
-Not hypersocial.

so this is what relationships has become?
I'm glad I have dropped out.
goodbye love, hello regular life.
I think I shood go play with my Hotwheels
now.

^ This could be considered a form of trolling.

When the Simpsons and South Park criteria didn't work, I tried to get hippies and hipsters to like me, despite me being a Republican and supporting the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, but that didn't work either.

The women I was referring to were all people I had pursued in the past. I couldn't actually be in a relationship at the time, because of school, and I was willing to wait for them. However, they were not willing to wait for me, and they all ended up dating someone else, because they didn't want to wait.

And I do apologize for blowing up in everyone's face and saying the things I did. It was wrong of me, and I was just upset about everything, and I hope I can be forgiven, and not be remembered only for this.

What are my views on girls/women? Well, I'd say that if I didn't have a libido to satisfy, a disinterest in sex with males and an instinctive drive to raise kids, I'd probably ignore them altogether. With the exception of my best friend (who is - coincidence or not - a lesbian) I tend to find women too shallow to really interest me intellectually or spiritually or to connect with them at that level.

Considering I do have a libido to satisfy, a disinterest in sex with males and an instinctive drive to raise kids, however, I try to force myself to find a girlfriend in spite of my utter inability to connect with them intellectually or spiritually. After 5 relationships that ended with me getting dumped, I'm starting to give up hope, though

That was the case. I was stressed out about tons of other things as well.

Not my way or the highway, but what if I want kink, and she will only do the Missionary position, only after marriage, and only when she wants to make a baby?

@Tim_Tex - You're apology might seem a tad more convincing if you hadn't changed your signature: now the problem is your conservatism? Sorry, it's not your voting record that's the problem, and it's not other peoples' politics that are the problem. IMO, the most significant problem facing you is the extraordinary lack of flexibility in your worldview, Tim. Sometimes, the problem really is within ourselves, and we need to change in order to progress. I suggest you either think about what you can do differently to change your attitude toward and about women - or continue to bang your head against the wall while you wait for the world to come around to your POV.

@Salonfilosoof - With respect to your comment below:

"I tend to find women too shallow to really interest me intellectually or spiritually or to connect with them at that level.

Considering I do have a libido to satisfy, a disinterest in sex with males and an instinctive drive to raise kids, however, I try to force myself to find a girlfriend in spite of my utter inability to connect with them intellectually or spiritually."

Has it occurred to you that perhaps the problem is the women you choose to date, and not women in general? Women are too shallow to interest you intellectually or spiritually? W. T. F.? You're the one who's getting dumped, but you find women to be so entirely deficient in these important areas.....so you're willing to stay around and get laid - even with their lack of spirituality and intellect - but they're the ones giving you the boot, huh? And you think women are shallow? Really? I do believe I've stepped in deeper puddles than you, dude.

Last edited by HopeGrows on 16 Mar 2010, 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, I would think that even if a woman wants to wait for marriage to have sex, the topic should not be taboo. I would think that if someone doesn't even want to talk about the subject that they probably have a very conservative idea about sex. However, if you meet someone who takes pleasure in pleasing you, she will probably be willing to try things that would make you happy. I know I have done things with my bf that I would never have wanted to try. He enjoys them, and I LOVE making him happy.

Well, the last two women I went out with were a post-doctorate bio-engineer and a psychologist, so not exactly stupid women. Still, I found it pretty hard to find any topic to really talk about in depth with the exception of traveling to foreign countries (both of them were backpackers with a sense for adventure).



Well, I used to have the tendency to almost immediately fall in love with whatever woman gave me a bit more than the usual attention I get from women and that's how I ended up having 5 relationships. Still, I miss the intellectual and spiritual connection I have with some of my male friends or with my best friend (the lesbian - the only female I can really connect with at a level of significance). Of course the emotional connection was there (I genuinely loved each and every woman I've been with), but I really miss being able to have intense and deep conversations about film, music, philosophy, politics or whatever... like I do with my male friends and my lesbian friend. Small talk just feels unnatural an uncomfortable to me.

I'm not saying there aren't any women who are interested in that sort of thing (my lesbian friends is one of those), but I personally haven't EVER encountered a heterosexual woman who fits that description, let alone a single one. I guess one of my best friends' wife is only straight woman I somewhat connect with at an intellectual and spiritual level, but not at the same degree as I connect with her husband... and since she's married with four children, it's not exactly possible to be any more than friends with her anyway.

When I speak of "connecting" with someone, I'm referrring to the "soulmate" feeling : the ability to be yourself completely, to be able to talk about everything you feel like at the greatest depth imaginable while both of you are having a good time and feel like you understand one another (even where you might not agree on something). With men, I find this fairly easy to achieve in the long run. With straight women, it seems near impossible.

Last edited by Salonfilosoof on 16 Mar 2010, 5:33 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Tim, it's all a conspiracy against you. People are plotting against you because we don't like South Park and the Simpsons as much as you. (Sarcasm.)

I'd suggest going to anger management. You belong nowhere near a woman with your current mentality. You sound like you could blow up any second.

You have never encountered a single heterosexual woman who wanted to converse about film, music, philosophy or politics. Really. Not even the bio-engineer or psychologist. You managed to find a bio-engineer who has no political views. You managed to find a psychologist with no interest in philosophy. Really.

All I can picture is you sticking your fingers in your ears and saying "la la la la la I can't hear you" every time a woman broached those subjects. If you go near college campuses, you will find it hard to find a woman without interests in all those areas.

Before I married my husband, I went on many dates with various men, sometimes dating for a long time. I had various incompatibilities (thus broke up) but in all[cases, music, film, politics and philosophy were mainstays of date conversation. Even in highschool. Was I weird? Of course not. This was so much the norm that men brought these subjects up on first dates routinely because they assumed (rightly so) that it would be interesting conversation. I don't live in some rarified bubble. I would say we run in very different circles but that can't be if you dated a bio-engineer or a psychologist. I can only guess that you have put up some sort of block and figured that the women you date aren't up to your intellectual level so you wouldn't even consider those topics.

Honestly! A date where you ]couldn't talk about film or music? BS!! !! !! !

@Salonfilosoof - I'm shaking my head.

"but I really miss being able to have intense and deep conversations about film, music, philosophy, politics or whatever... like I do with my male friends and my lesbian friend. Small talk just feels unnatural an uncomfortable to me."

You've dated a post-doctoral bio-engineer and a psychologist, and you couldn't have an in-depth conversation with either one of them about film, music, philosophy or politics? C'mon dude, 2 1/2 of those subjects are freaking pop culture - and two different women with graduate degrees couldn't handle that subject matter to your satisfaction? And the only people you believe you can connect with spiritually and intellectually are men and women-who-will-never-let-you-do-them? Hmm....ever thought that entering into a sexual relationship with a woman may cause you to relate to them differently - as in, not allowing yourself to have a deep spiritual, intellectual, and emotional connection with them? Cause that would mean having a truly intimate relationship, with all that icky closeness and junk? Or is it possible that you're just choosing women based on a single criteria: an inability to connect spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally with you?

Or not the lawyer I've been with for about 6 years. That is, not at nearly the same level as I can talk about this stuff as I do with men. Most women seem to be only interested in touching these topics on a fairly superficial level.



Actually, she literally told me that she didn't have the slightest interest in either politics or current affairs. Besides her job, her interests didn't seem to go beyond a few music bands, traveling, learning new languages and sports.



I tried to touch the topic, but it didn't get anywhere. She's the kind of person who likes to party all night every Saturday and she didn't seem very interested in more than just small talk.



Actually, I live in a city that's completely oriented towards its university. Half of the people living here are actually college students.



It is my experience that I usually chase away or at least annoy women whenever I address these topics because they are either not interested in them or not nearly as much as I am. With (educated) men, I find it far easier to have such conversations.



If I'm lucky she'll know a few Tarantino films or Amélie Poulain, but don't even mention films from directors like say Miike, Aronofsky or Kubrick. Hell, my last girlfriend had never even heard of Donnie Darko (which many film fanatics already consider fairly mainstream).

I'm not saying I can't talk about film with straight women. I'm just saying I can't talk about it with them with the same level of depth I can talk about it with my male friends or my lesbian friend.

Last edited by Salonfilosoof on 16 Mar 2010, 6:25 pm, edited 3 times in total.