Shy guys.
SoulcakeDuck
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Joined: 3 Mar 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,842
Location: a bubble called Cognitive Entropy
One thing I notice from many other on the Autistic spectrum is that we all find it hard to fit in!! ! I find social relationships really difficult. They start off okay but i cannot seem to keep social relationships really.
But NT's must remember that Aspies rule. We are unique logical thinkers and when the right person comes along he/she will be the one that loves and appreciates our unique individuality and rarity.
Perhaps the simplest way of understanding Asperger's is to think of it as describing someone who thinks and perceives about the world differently to others.
LordoftheMonkeys
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Joined: 15 Aug 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 927
Location: A deep,dark hole in the ground
Is Rosie O Donnell a better analogy?
For a guy such as you where looks are pretty much the only concern, either analogy would work. But it fails when used with guys that aren't so exclusively looks-oriented...
I don't see how going for personality is any better than going for looks. Either way you're judging someone based on something they can't control. Now if you had a thing for people who choose to be police officers or who choose to donate to charity, and claimed that that was more valid, then I would be more empathetic, but it rarely works that way. Personally, I find that ugly girls usually have repulsive personalities (conformist, boring, serious, etc.) anyway, while pretty girls tend to be more deviant, flirty, energetic, and interesting. Probably a self-esteem thing.
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I don't want a good life. I want an interesting one.
LadybugQ
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Joined: 9 May 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 240
Location: The center of my dogs universe
Dear foreveryoung: You are 26 years old, enjoy starting provocative conversations simply for the sake of beginning s*** and I am willing to bet you have yet to enjoy not only a sexually fulfilling relationship but also an emotionally, intellectually and spiritually satisfying relationship with anyone you prefer to associate with.
Why do you insist on coming across as WP's version of Howard Stern?
Care to answer?
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Death before dishonor, NOTHING before coffee
Is Rosie O Donnell a better analogy?
For a guy such as you where looks are pretty much the only concern, either analogy would work. But it fails when used with guys that aren't so exclusively looks-oriented...
I don't see how going for personality is any better than going for looks. Either way you're judging someone based on something they can't control. Now if you had a thing for people who choose to be police officers or who choose to donate to charity, and claimed that that was more valid, then I would be more empathetic, but it rarely works that way. Personally, I find that ugly girls usually have repulsive personalities (conformist, boring, serious, etc.) anyway, while pretty girls tend to be more deviant, flirty, energetic, and interesting. Probably a self-esteem thing.
Did I say specifically personality? I was more referring to seeking things other than looks, which still includes all that stuff you just said. And choosing what you want to do with your life is just as much a part of your personality as the ingrained parts. Yes, I know I'm unlovable, but that doesn't mean I'm choosing to do nothing with my life. I'm getting my IT bachelor's in december, and with it I plan on a very successful career.
GoatOnFire
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Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Age: 39
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Posts: 4,986
Location: Den of the ecdysiasts
Is Rosie O Donnell a better analogy?
She's a lesbo, even harder to land. Though you may have a point, because I can't imagine many guys wanting to land her. If we're talking famous people, I'd say Amy Winehouse is a better analogy, so stoned she probably wouldn't know what she's f*****g. And she's working on blowing her fortune on cocaine. Less going for her than either Oprah or Rosie.
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I will befriend the friendless, help the helpless, and defeat... the feetless?
The f**k?
Oprah would be a pretty big catch. She's only worth how much?
I don't care how much money she makes. I'm not a gold-digger. She's an ugly cow and annoying.
Oh really, so you really think you could land her?
GoatOnFire, that is a non-sequiteur. He said he finds her unattractive, so his ability or lack thereof to "land her" is irrelevant. In addition, he never claimed that he could "land her", or at least, not in this thread, so why are you bringing up that topic anyway?
i acctualy think forever young is right about this. regardless of the way he comes across (and i think thats kind of intentional) the message he is trying to get through is very right. of all the things you could do if you wanted to get a girl, moping about it is THE very worst thing you could do.
its to do with the law of attraction you see, perhapes this deserves another thread entirely, but i'll run you all through the very basics of it.
put simply, we bring into our lives what we focus our thoughts on most. for instance, rich people are rich because their thoughts have predominantly been on gaining money.
that said, its more to do with not focusing on the lack of something than focusing on having something (although that is still a big part of it). the reason moping does so little for you in terms of dating is because you are centering not just your thoughts, but your entire lifestyle around the lack of romantic love you have. suprise suprise, the law of attraction will bring you more of that, period!
thats one very basic part of it, but its the part i feel is most important: stop having thoughts of 'lack' and start focusing on what you have so that you can at least solve any self-esteem issues you may have when you mope. for example, are you good at musical instruments? well do that, get better and feel happy about that. do you enjoy writing or drawing or anything that you have that makes you feel, if not better about yourself, at least happy.
if you can do this, you can at very least get rid of that "im worthless" crap a lot of people put on and feel good about yourself. thats the key to everything.
PM me if you want me to run you through the law of attraction in more detail with you, or maybe make a whole new thread about it. because i find if you can manipulate it, then you can use it to help you with, not just dating, but every aspect of your life...
...i probably sound like some middle of nowhere hippy spouting "derranged lunatic theories" to you dont i?
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I can't think of something witty to say, but if I could, I'd probably put it here.
[/quote]
]I don't see how going for personality is any better than going for looks. Either way you're judging someone based on something they can't control. Now if you had a thing for people who choose to be police officers or who choose to donate to charity, and claimed that that was more valid, then I would be more empathetic, but it rarely works that way. Personally, I find that ugly girls usually have repulsive personalities (conformist, boring, serious, etc.) anyway, while pretty girls tend to be more deviant, flirty, energetic, and interesting. Probably a self-esteem thing.[/quote]
thats acctualy a very valid point you're making there. people act like they're somehow superior taste-wise because they "dont prefer looks". ok yeah its good to have something other to say than "you're beautifull" but its still not very nice to go for one specific trait. either way the point that im getting at here is that prefering "brains over looks" does NOT qualify anyone to be elitist over someone who wants their potential spouse to look good. going for a personality, inteligence, similar interests, whatever you want in your partner, its all fine. it doesnt make you a jerk to want someone who looks nice, though of course it doesnt mean someone HAS to look good for you to like them. going for anything else isnt any better than going for looks really.
gonna get a good smacking for this of course. not that my intention was to create an argument anyways
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I can't think of something witty to say, but if I could, I'd probably put it here.
