nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
27 Jul 2010, 1:34 am
bullyh8ter wrote:
Stellar wrote:
Hi there. This is a long post so I cut it up and numbered the "paragraphs."
1) Me ex boyfriend and I broke up months ago, and recently he contacted me and I asked if we could try to be friends. After a few e-mails I gave him my aim name so we could slowly start talking and he responds saying that he Googled my screen name and he's shocked at what he saw! It was a question that I had deleted on yahoo answers, and he looked at the cached version of it.
2) Now he's really mad at me and he's hurt (more like devastated??) and he doesn't want to talk to me again. By the way he has Asperger's and said emotions are really intense for him. He also said honesty is very important (it is), but it's hard being completely honest when the person explodes and constantly judges you.
3) When we were together he would always pry into my past. Now I know that the past can be important but he shoved my past into my face every single day and I never felt as the relationship was about us; it was always about the things I did in my past.
4) I liked my best [female] friend in a romantic way when I was in freakin' middle school and I lied to him and said I didn't, because he was being really judgmental and out of line going as far as to ask me if I had romantic feelings for my best female cousin (who is like a sister to me). None of this is really relevant to him...I am eighteen now, that happened in middle school, and when we were together I didn't think I could be bisexual.
5) But lo and behold I realized that we do not control who we fall in love with! So I asked this question on yahoo answers asking if I was bi because I don’t want to filter out a potential good match based on their gender (I think it’s unfair since we don’t choose whether we’re male or female when we’re born).
6) SO yeah he found the cached version and won't even talk to me saying I hurt him too much. He said he misses me, cares, and loves me, but I think if that was true he would at least try to salvage a friendship. I think he's my other half regardless of this whole mess.
Thank you guys! Any input would be helpful and I really appreciate you taking the time to read this. He's a good guy overall and I was really hoping we could at least be friends. I just don't know what to do anymore but it's worth the fight.
1) Me ex boyfriend and I broke up months ago, and recently he contacted me and I asked if we could try to be friends. After a few e-mails I gave him my aim name so we could slowly start talking and he responds saying that he Googled my screen name and he's shocked at what he saw! It was a question that I had deleted on yahoo answers, and he looked at the cached version of it.
2) Now he's really mad at me and he's hurt (more like devastated??) and he doesn't want to talk to me again. By the way he has Asperger's and said emotions are really intense for him. He also said honesty is very important (it is), but it's hard being completely honest when the person explodes and constantly judges you.
3) When we were together he would always pry into my past. Now I know that the past can be important but he shoved my past into my face every single day and I never felt as the relationship was about us; it was always about the things I did in my past.
4) I liked my best [female] friend in a romantic way when I was in freakin' middle school and I lied to him and said I didn't, because he was being really judgmental and out of line going as far as to ask me if I had romantic feelings for my best female cousin (who is like a sister to me). None of this is really relevant to him...I am eighteen now, that happened in middle school, and when we were together I didn't think I could be bisexual.
5) But lo and behold I realized that we do not control who we fall in love with! So I asked this question on yahoo answers asking if I was bi because I don’t want to filter out a potential good match based on their gender (I think it’s unfair since we don’t choose whether we’re male or female when we’re born).
6) SO yeah he found the cached version and won't even talk to me saying I hurt him too much. He said he misses me, cares, and loves me, but I think if that was true he would at least try to salvage a friendship. I think he's my other half regardless of this whole mess.
Thank you guys! Any input would be helpful and I really appreciate you taking the time to read this. He's a good guy overall and I was really hoping we could at least be friends. I just don't know what to do anymore but it's worth the fight.
Women often don't appreciate good men. If he was a good guy, why did you cheat on him? You deserve her and hopefully he's ran for the hills. I'm sorry..but I'm tired of women leaving good men for a bad boy/girl these days. You wanted honesty, you got it. I don't care if it's not "politically correct".
I don't see anything about the OP cheating on him in that but maybe I missed something
27 Jul 2010, 1:36 am
27 Jul 2010, 1:47 am
nick007 wrote:
bullyh8ter wrote:
Stellar wrote:
Hi there. This is a long post so I cut it up and numbered the "paragraphs."
1) Me ex boyfriend and I broke up months ago, and recently he contacted me and I asked if we could try to be friends. After a few e-mails I gave him my aim name so we could slowly start talking and he responds saying that he Googled my screen name and he's shocked at what he saw! It was a question that I had deleted on yahoo answers, and he looked at the cached version of it.
2) Now he's really mad at me and he's hurt (more like devastated??) and he doesn't want to talk to me again. By the way he has Asperger's and said emotions are really intense for him. He also said honesty is very important (it is), but it's hard being completely honest when the person explodes and constantly judges you.
3) When we were together he would always pry into my past. Now I know that the past can be important but he shoved my past into my face every single day and I never felt as the relationship was about us; it was always about the things I did in my past.
4) I liked my best [female] friend in a romantic way when I was in freakin' middle school and I lied to him and said I didn't, because he was being really judgmental and out of line going as far as to ask me if I had romantic feelings for my best female cousin (who is like a sister to me). None of this is really relevant to him...I am eighteen now, that happened in middle school, and when we were together I didn't think I could be bisexual.
5) But lo and behold I realized that we do not control who we fall in love with! So I asked this question on yahoo answers asking if I was bi because I don’t want to filter out a potential good match based on their gender (I think it’s unfair since we don’t choose whether we’re male or female when we’re born).
6) SO yeah he found the cached version and won't even talk to me saying I hurt him too much. He said he misses me, cares, and loves me, but I think if that was true he would at least try to salvage a friendship. I think he's my other half regardless of this whole mess.
Thank you guys! Any input would be helpful and I really appreciate you taking the time to read this. He's a good guy overall and I was really hoping we could at least be friends. I just don't know what to do anymore but it's worth the fight.
1) Me ex boyfriend and I broke up months ago, and recently he contacted me and I asked if we could try to be friends. After a few e-mails I gave him my aim name so we could slowly start talking and he responds saying that he Googled my screen name and he's shocked at what he saw! It was a question that I had deleted on yahoo answers, and he looked at the cached version of it.
2) Now he's really mad at me and he's hurt (more like devastated??) and he doesn't want to talk to me again. By the way he has Asperger's and said emotions are really intense for him. He also said honesty is very important (it is), but it's hard being completely honest when the person explodes and constantly judges you.
3) When we were together he would always pry into my past. Now I know that the past can be important but he shoved my past into my face every single day and I never felt as the relationship was about us; it was always about the things I did in my past.
4) I liked my best [female] friend in a romantic way when I was in freakin' middle school and I lied to him and said I didn't, because he was being really judgmental and out of line going as far as to ask me if I had romantic feelings for my best female cousin (who is like a sister to me). None of this is really relevant to him...I am eighteen now, that happened in middle school, and when we were together I didn't think I could be bisexual.
5) But lo and behold I realized that we do not control who we fall in love with! So I asked this question on yahoo answers asking if I was bi because I don’t want to filter out a potential good match based on their gender (I think it’s unfair since we don’t choose whether we’re male or female when we’re born).
6) SO yeah he found the cached version and won't even talk to me saying I hurt him too much. He said he misses me, cares, and loves me, but I think if that was true he would at least try to salvage a friendship. I think he's my other half regardless of this whole mess.
Thank you guys! Any input would be helpful and I really appreciate you taking the time to read this. He's a good guy overall and I was really hoping we could at least be friends. I just don't know what to do anymore but it's worth the fight.
Women often don't appreciate good men. If he was a good guy, why did you cheat on him? You deserve her and hopefully he's ran for the hills. I'm sorry..but I'm tired of women leaving good men for a bad boy/girl these days. You wanted honesty, you got it. I don't care if it's not "politically correct".
I don't see anything about the OP cheating on him in that but maybe I missed something
Maybe not...but that's what it sounded like. I read the replies first and only part of the OP. But, maybe from his point of view, one thing would lead to the other and he didn't want to get hurt more than he already was. 60% of people cheat on their spouses these days. He had reason to believe that. Maybe that's what he was thinking even if she didn't cheat.
27 Jul 2010, 5:38 am
To bullyh8ter: 
Wowww first of all, I would never cheat on anyone, ever! "One thing lead to another" is such a stupid excuse, and I would hope most people have more self control than that (and respect for the person they're with). And if he really thought I was going to cheat, he could have just left me. Why would you stay with someone if you're so convinced they will cheat? 'Cause you like feeling paranoid and like feeling like crap? Maybe it's true that a lot of people cheat, but that's exactly why you shouldn't go out with just anyone. This is pretty ridiculous; you haven't read my posts and you're already acting as if I'm guilty of something that I didn't do or even think of doing.
27 Jul 2010, 5:39 am
27 Jul 2010, 5:56 am
Stellar wrote:
To bullyh8ter: Wowww first of all, I would never cheat on anyone, ever! "One thing lead to another" is such a stupid excuse, and I would hope most people have more self control than that (and respect for the person they're with). And if he really thought I was going to cheat, he could have just left me. Why would you stay with someone if you're so convinced they will cheat? 'Cause you like feeling paranoid and like feeling like crap? Maybe it's true that a lot of people cheat, but that's exactly why you shouldn't go out with just anyone. This is pretty ridiculous; you haven't read my posts and you're already acting as if I'm guilty of something that I didn't do or even think of doing.
Wowww first of all, I would never cheat on anyone, ever! "One thing lead to another" is such a stupid excuse, and I would hope most people have more self control than that (and respect for the person they're with). And if he really thought I was going to cheat, he could have just left me. Why would you stay with someone if you're so convinced they will cheat? 'Cause you like feeling paranoid and like feeling like crap? Maybe it's true that a lot of people cheat, but that's exactly why you shouldn't go out with just anyone. This is pretty ridiculous; you haven't read my posts and you're already acting as if I'm guilty of something that I didn't do or even think of doing.So? Move on.
27 Jul 2010, 7:54 pm
Thanks guys. We decided it's actually best to stop talking, at least for now. So yeah thanks for all of the help. 
28 Aug 2010, 2:38 am
28 Aug 2010, 2:40 am
28 Aug 2010, 2:56 am
28 Aug 2010, 5:12 am
28 Aug 2010, 5:21 am
28 Aug 2010, 5:42 am
03 Sep 2010, 3:45 pm
I think you should have told him things- even if they seemed small. He seems the sort of person who would focus on the negative even when there were loads of positives too.
Best thing to do is to move on.
You're obviously not compatible.
I wish you luck in the future finding someone more suited to you.
29 Apr 2011, 2:22 am
