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Is sex only for two people who love each other?

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Is sex only for two people who love each other?
Yes and I am a man. 16%  16%  [ 15 ]
No and I am a man. 43%  43%  [ 40 ]
Yes and I am a woman. 14%  14%  [ 13 ]
No and I am a woman. 28%  28%  [ 26 ]
Total votes : 94

JohnisBlind
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30 Aug 2010, 10:54 pm

nthach wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Erisad wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Erisad wrote:
@JohnisBlind - Because if I didn't control my desires, I'd be a slut and I don't want to be that. :/

@Pistonhead - So it's impossible to maintain any standards after losing one's virginity? I don't believe that.


Well maybe if you got to know some sluts and whores you would find that they were actually great people and then that might alleviate your fear of sex. idk


Uuum, I would prefer not to know those kinds of people. I already have pressure from my peers to have sex and it's really annoying and even if I didn't fear it, it wouldn't do me any good. Mom would render me homeless if I lost my virginity so it's not going to happen, okay? :/


Your mom would bale out on you just because you had sex? Are you absolutely sure? I ask because it sounds like you are getting a lot of unhealthy messages from home. It also sounds like she has too much control over your life.

A lot of people with Aspergers also have parents who have similar features so that explains it.

My mom's overbearing on me, I'm planning on moving out after I'm done with school and I land a decent job to be mostly self-sufficient.

As for the OP - it depends on your definition of "love". I live in the hyperliberal Bay Area, and sex is EVERYWHERE. I wouldn't mind a friends with benefits situation before I go off looking for a serious relationship.


The Bay Area is where I went to college first. I thought that the values on sex that I learned were the same anywhere else in the US. Boy was I wrong.



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30 Aug 2010, 10:54 pm

Erisad wrote:
That's pretty much what I've been taught. There's a lot more risk for girls when it comes to sex. The guy can f**k all he wants and never have to worry about raising a child. After all, knocking up women and leaving them is the popular thing for men to do nowadays. I know there's contraception and such but there's no 100% guarantee that it'll work. For me, if I use it I lose everything. That's why it's just better for me to stay ignorant about sex right now. :/


If someone taught me that women didn't have feelings and I ran around here parading that women are all manipulative cold hearted b*****s people would still take it out on me. Don't blame your mom for you being ignorant. A guy can f**k all he wants and live in fear that he's going to end up getting a letter in the mail saying he has to pay child support. LOL yeah men are so awful we all run off as soon as we plant our seeds. There is a pretty damn good chance it will work - I have had sex probably 100-200 times with a girl who I knew was fertile and we used a condom and the pill and even with her stupid ass forgetting to take it some nights I don't have a kid.


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Erisad
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30 Aug 2010, 10:57 pm

Pistonhead wrote:
LOL yeah men are so awful we all run off as soon as we plant our seeds.


Yup. :D



JohnisBlind
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30 Aug 2010, 10:59 pm

foreveryoung wrote:
I don't know why guys are arguing with Erisad. Have you seen her picture?


That's not appropriate at all. Not cool.



nthach
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30 Aug 2010, 10:59 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:
nthach wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Erisad wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Erisad wrote:
@JohnisBlind - Because if I didn't control my desires, I'd be a slut and I don't want to be that. :/

@Pistonhead - So it's impossible to maintain any standards after losing one's virginity? I don't believe that.


Well maybe if you got to know some sluts and whores you would find that they were actually great people and then that might alleviate your fear of sex. idk


Uuum, I would prefer not to know those kinds of people. I already have pressure from my peers to have sex and it's really annoying and even if I didn't fear it, it wouldn't do me any good. Mom would render me homeless if I lost my virginity so it's not going to happen, okay? :/


Your mom would bale out on you just because you had sex? Are you absolutely sure? I ask because it sounds like you are getting a lot of unhealthy messages from home. It also sounds like she has too much control over your life.

A lot of people with Aspergers also have parents who have similar features so that explains it.

My mom's overbearing on me, I'm planning on moving out after I'm done with school and I land a decent job to be mostly self-sufficient.

As for the OP - it depends on your definition of "love". I live in the hyperliberal Bay Area, and sex is EVERYWHERE. I wouldn't mind a friends with benefits situation before I go off looking for a serious relationship.


The Bay Area is where I went to college first. I thought that the values on sex that I learned were the same anywhere else in the US. Boy was I wrong.

If you don't mind me asking, where did you go?



foreveryoung
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30 Aug 2010, 11:02 pm

Erisad is justfiying her virginity. She herself has said guys have only wanted her for sex and nothing else...and she wants someone to love her for her. Nothing wrong with that if only she admitted it.

And John, if Erisad has the right to be holier-than-thou on the forum and use the forum as her own personal venting ground, I have the right to express my opinions (that are the opinions of everyone else whether they admit it or not.)



JohnisBlind
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30 Aug 2010, 11:02 pm

Erisad wrote:
Pistonhead wrote:
LOL yeah men are so awful we all run off as soon as we plant our seeds.


Yup. :D


You probably can't see this in a clear way given the strong feelings you have toward your father.



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30 Aug 2010, 11:05 pm

foreveryoung wrote:
And John, if Erisad has the right to be holier-than-thou on the forum and use the forum as her own personal venting ground, I have the right to express my opinions (that are the opinions of everyone else whether they admit it or not.)


Honestly, you are right about this! I was about as appalled as JIB prior to this.


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30 Aug 2010, 11:08 pm

foreveryoung wrote:
Erisad is justfiying her virginity. She herself has said guys have only wanted her for sex and nothing else...and she wants someone to love her for her. Nothing wrong with that if only she admitted it.

And John, if Erisad has the right to be holier-than-thou on the forum and use the forum as her own personal venting ground, I have the right to express my opinions (that are the opinions of everyone else whether they admit it or not.)


That's kind of what I was trying to say but I don't believe that would fly here. Apparently women must all be open to sex. :/

I use WP has a venting ground because I have nowhere else. Mom invaded Facebook so I can't use that and if I talk to my friends about it, I'll probably start bawling and they'll all think I'm crazy. So for my mental health, WP is a place for me to vent. You have a right to your opinion but did you have to attack my appearance while you were at it? I believe it says in the forum rules that you're allowed to attack an idea but not another user. *nod nod*

JohnisBlind - Probably not but it doesn't change how I feel about it.



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30 Aug 2010, 11:13 pm

I admittedly have no tact, especially online. I've told my friends online that I think they're girlfriends are unattractive and asked them what they were doing with them. I'm not perfect and I'm not a nice person.



Erisad
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30 Aug 2010, 11:18 pm

foreveryoung wrote:
I admittedly have no tact, especially online. I've told my friends online that I think they're girlfriends are unattractive and asked them what they were doing with them. I'm not perfect and I'm not a nice person.


I mean, I already know that I'm unattractive but I don't see why it was necessary to bring up. Even if I were gorgeous, I would still be afraid of sex. I probably would be even more afraid since more guys would demand sex from me. :/



JohnisBlind
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30 Aug 2010, 11:21 pm

foreveryoung wrote:
Erisad is justfiying her virginity. She herself has said guys have only wanted her for sex and nothing else...and she wants someone to love her for her. Nothing wrong with that if only she admitted it.

And John, if Erisad has the right to be holier-than-thou on the forum and use the forum as her own personal venting ground, I have the right to express my opinions (that are the opinions of everyone else whether they admit it or not.)


So you can irrationally vent your venting needs in return. Understood.



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30 Aug 2010, 11:22 pm

Erisad wrote:
That's kind of what I was trying to say but I don't believe that would fly here. Apparently women must all be open to sex. :/

I believe it says in the forum rules that you're allowed to attack an idea but not another user. *nod nod*


Apparently men must be open to behaving like they've been castrated.

Sounds like you are trying to sit on the fence and incite trouble to me calling the rules out like that.


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Erisad
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30 Aug 2010, 11:24 pm

Pistonhead wrote:
Erisad wrote:
That's kind of what I was trying to say but I don't believe that would fly here. Apparently women must all be open to sex. :/

I believe it says in the forum rules that you're allowed to attack an idea but not another user. *nod nod*


Apparently men must be open to behaving like they've been castrated.

Sounds like you are trying to sit on the fence and incite trouble to me calling the rules out like that.


Men don't have to act like that but try to understand why a woman won't want to sleep with them. :/

I wasn't calling you out, I was referring to Foreveryoung's comment earlier about my picture or whatever.



JohnisBlind
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30 Aug 2010, 11:25 pm

Erisad wrote:
foreveryoung wrote:
I admittedly have no tact, especially online. I've told my friends online that I think they're girlfriends are unattractive and asked them what they were doing with them. I'm not perfect and I'm not a nice person.


I mean, I already know that I'm unattractive but I don't see why it was necessary to bring up. Even if I were gorgeous, I would still be afraid of sex. I probably would be even more afraid since more guys would demand sex from me. :/


Well some girls may like to have sex because it makes them feel sexy. If you aren't feeling sexy then you may not understand why they would have sex for other reasons than love.



foreveryoung
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30 Aug 2010, 11:35 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:
Erisad wrote:
foreveryoung wrote:
I admittedly have no tact, especially online. I've told my friends online that I think they're girlfriends are unattractive and asked them what they were doing with them. I'm not perfect and I'm not a nice person.


I mean, I already know that I'm unattractive but I don't see why it was necessary to bring up. Even if I were gorgeous, I would still be afraid of sex. I probably would be even more afraid since more guys would demand sex from me. :/


Well some girls may like to have sex because it makes them feel sexy. If you aren't feeling sexy then you may not understand why they would have sex for other reasons than love.


How's that any better than what I said?