what women want

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GroovyDruid, I honestly never was into the game thing....but I know plenty men who are. Maybe it's you who want the games, and is having a hard time finding a woman who either dosn't want to play your games or dosn't want to play by the rules your game(s). F.Y.I I got married at 23.

Groovydruid, it isn't that we become so much wiser as we grow older, it's just that it all becomes a bit repetitious, and then we run out of energy.

As far as us women are concerned, we may as well talk to brick walls for, in my experience, men NEVER understand us or what we want and we are generalised.

I've heard men say before now that loads of women 'like men who treat us mean' i.e are a**holes. If this be the case, why do we protest against such creatures?

Some men say that all women like to play games. We don't all play games, some of us do, the words 'some' and 'all' had different meanings last time I checked. I'm one of those women who doesn't play games but is honest (mind you, this must be a riddle for some men, never mind a game eh?)

I am very weary of relationships now as I've been hurt emotionally way too often by lies and false promises (it wasn't women who did this to me, it was men!). When a man says you mean something to him it means jackshit because they are fickle and will love someone else next week or they start taking you for granted. I have heard the 'I care about you' etc lines way too much now with no meaning attached to them that I now prepare myself for the fact that when a bloke I really like does say that to me, he isn't actually going to mean it. I've heard it all before and I don't tolerate BS anymore. At least this way I have a lot less chance of ever getting hurt again. Despite this I reckon I'm a happy enough person.

You know, this whole thread has become on side firing a salvo at the other back and forth. Fiz, you are right. These are all generalizations. However, no one side is better than the other. The guys are bringing it down to their lowest denominator (strategy against the "tricky" women -- encouraged by the anger of rejection) and the women aren't far behind (pleading about how they've been hurt by the "evil" men -- also encouraged by the anger of rejection).

All of this is needless blame. And blame is a useless reaction. It produces no good in any activity once it goes beyond a simple acknowledgement -- The only appropriate one being "I screwed up right here..." As long as we blame other people, we aren't fixing what is broken or getting back into the action.

It still comes down to individuals. It's about a good match. It's about a certain mutual understanding about the level of communication. Relationships aren't easy and both people have to do a lot of things right to make it work or it all falls apart. A simple miscued perception can kill everything. Even the most successful daters face a horrid ratio of failure to success. It's enough to make anyone bitter. Through blame or self-defeat, we all stand to lose in the same fashion...

I think the biggest opponent we face in this arena is not the opposite sex, but ourselves.

(Note to Fiz, this wasn't aimed at you. I genuinely respect your point. I was just bouncing off that point, aiming at the thread whole thread; If you read back, you begin to see a pattern and it was quite honestly starting to make me sick. )

phoenixjsu, I see that are either right or mostly right.

I see that a lot of people not only that fit the stereotypes, but go out of their way to. (This applies to so many things.)

But as evidenced by my last post I'm pretty cynical. (I generally like being wrong.) That being said, I do give individuals the benefit of the doubt.

You can improve yourself as much as you want, but if everyone around you are a bunch of idiots it's not going to help.

What helps is that you stop going after idiots.


And improve yourself.

I didn't mean to suggest that I was weaker, or that aspie men are weaker.

I meant that I find I have more in common with an aspie man than with NT. I don't seem to fit well with NT men because their interests and behaviors are often at odds with mine. I find NT behavior illogical. I can't believe in their beliefs. For example, there was this one fellow who was a book publisher. He published books about Aboriginal people. Apparently he was besotted with me. I think he was besotted with me because HE perceived me as weaker but whatever...The point is that I did not agree with his worldview on many things. For example, he was successful and hired successful white male writers to go into the interior and write about Aboriginal culture. This was how he made his living. I couldn't understand him at all. What on earth was the point in hiring successful white men to write about Aboriginal people? If he wanted to advance their cause wouldn't it make more sense to hire Aboriginal people to write about Aboriginal people? He also paid for environmentalists to travel the world to write about environmental issues. I couldn't see the logic in this. If you want to save the environment why would you pay for environmentalists to fly here there and everywhere on aircraft that on one single trip spew way more pollution into the air than an average person will spew in a lifetime? I perceived his life as one big contradiction in logic.

This is just one example where NT men and I have not got on very well together. I find that most
(not all, but most) NT men are mired in a culture that is often exploitive and, in the final analysis, not healthy for people who have differences. I perceive that often, NT men have lives that are essentially comprised of a great striving for success, and yet so devoid of logic and meaning.

To be honest, I have met two NT men who I did not perceive to be like this in their interaction with me. Two, just two.

Does that help to explain what I meant?