Love and Dating Positivity Thread

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I pretty much second everyone who's been mentioned, and I'd like to give a shout out to @Lene, who always offers very considered perspectives to others. @roadGames, I admire you for giving good advice (even when it's unpopular) and for sharing your story with brutal honesty. @pandorazmtbox, you've given some awesome, enlightening, brave, extremely relevant advice - your posts should be required reading. @BigK, you are always positive, cheerful, and friendly. @nick007, you have a very good heart. @deadeyexx, you give thoughtful, honest advice. @JeffGraham, seriously - where are you? People need you here, man - c'mon back. And of course, my candle in the window - you have given me (and so many others here), the benefit of your wisdom. Thanks for your generosity.

Thanks so much, @RICKY5 - that's really nice of you to say....but I'm still gonna try to win you over to the dark side.


Thanks @hyperlexian....you are a formidable opponent! (And I hope you watch the Colbert Report so you get that joke. )


Well....umm....I try really hard not to give into occasional negative replies. I'm working on it. Thanks, @techstep.


Well, we can't all be wrong now, can we Toad? I'm thinking if we all have faith in you, it's for a reason - you savvy?

Have a hug on me

I believe you'll find someone, I think you have what it takes to be a good partner.

I would like to welcome Greendragon to the thread and thank her for her insightful and balanced posts.

I don't usually like to mention specific members as it might look like a popularity contest, but...

Hopegrows and Hyperlexian are very thoughtful and patient, I appreciate their kindness and valuable input.

Moog has a great sense of humour and his posts often cheer me up - I think he's also very courageous.

Asp-Z who's so level-headed and mature.

BigK has the patience of a saint and I love his balanced, insightful posts.

mechanicalgirl and lene for their honesty

Sunshower for this initiative and many other interesting posts.

There are a lot of others fascinating and helpful members - like glider, Willard, katzefrau or Toughdiamond - I couldn't mention them all, but I hope they know how many of us appreciate their presence here.

Awwww, thanks. ^_^


hyperlexian - I like responding to everyone because I don't want anyone to feel ignored. Forgiving? Well, I guess that's true. Life's too short to hold a grudge against someone on the internet. (Or anyone IRL for that matter) XD

the colberrrrr raporrrrrrr....! love him. there's truthiness for you!



thanks so much! i don't think of myself as patient, so i really really appreciate you letting me know if i come across that way. it makes me feel really good. to hear that.

you dated the last single girl in your entire church? time to switch churches, or start attending inter-church events.

Thank you too hyperlexian - I've seen you taking time to explain your perspective page after page if necessary, trying to stay calm and reasonable and not taking things personally in situations when I knew I have to either avoid the thread or go bonkers. So, yes, I think you're patient

Perplexing, but thanks all the same.

You seem to have your share of problems, but you don't blame others and don't get bitter and hateful - that's pretty brave in my book

I let my bitter hate fester inside and it twists me into a perverted creature. You should see the portrait in my attic.

Nah, I'm just playing. I got all my bitter anger out of the way in my 20's. Cheers!

Mmmmm MMMMMM! I c...an't....brea...th.

{{{{{squeezes harder to squish some smiles and rainbows and unicorns into Boo}}}}}

The problem isnt so much the "last single girl in the church", its that i'm now way too old for high schoolers. My ex was just at the edge of what would be an acceptable age range (4 years). And since im the weird one that stuck around after graduating high school, i'm left all alone in my own age bracket. And from what i've been told, most of the churches in the area don't have many 18-30 year olds around, mostly because mainstream religion itself doesn't really appeal to that age group...

This is why I'm convinced your problem is mainly demographic. You come across as the type women call a Cuddlebear. To women who want adventure, this is a turn-off. To women who want security and domesticity, this is a turn-on. Your greatest problem is that you have positioned yourself in a place where you won't meet these women. This is your biggest hurdle. Believe me, though it seems insurmountable, it is a molehill of a hurdle compared to what some are facing. I wish I knew how to help you cross this hurdle because I think a moderately religious, clingy woman who just wants a family and a husband who won't cheat and likes snuggling is right on the other side. Once you cross that hurdle and get yourself to a more amenable demographic place, you will probably be married within 5 or so years. It's getting to that place which is the challenge. And for that I honestly don't know where to point you. But perhaps fate will intervene and some job offer somehwere else after you graduate will yank you out of this safe-zone you are trapped in and into a new demographic.

I'm still wondering if such a type of woman even exists...

They exist in far greater numbers than you think. My college roomate was one. And she dated a man who seemed an awful lot like you (or the "you" that I am envisioning based on posts). They would sit in the dorm room and call each other "pumpkin" and "bunny" while I jammed headphones on my ears in the hopes I could drown them out with Led Zeppelin. When I went out to parties and clubs I would try to drag them along but they would insist on staying in the common room instead and watching TV and eating popcorn. I thought it looked like the most boring relationship ever. But it was perfect for both of them. My memory of it was probably what you are aching for now. It's not such an uncommon type of woman.

However, she's not at your church. She's at some other church somewhere else. Which is why I'm hoping that you get a job offer to some faraway place that forces you to find a new church in another town where you will have a chance to meet new people who are different yet similar in wants. The type of woman who would be most compatible with you is really not that rare at all. But you will have to get out of your safety zone.